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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

spinoff of TCs am i a bully?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
So a lot of you said she is not-thats fine I said she wasn't either, not my point. My point is that many said "she's very aggressively opinionated".

Now if your child was in school and another said "those glasses make you look fucking ugly as shit"
Or
"God damn you are fat, lose some weight"
And your child came home very distraught over this.

Is that bullying, or aggressively opinionated?
Its true. She has glasses that deform her eyes.
Or he's 15lbs overweight.
The other teen was telling the truth and their opinion.

Just curious where you draw the line between opinionated/hurting feelings and bullying/hurting feelings?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:49 PM
Replies (31-37):
danie24
by Ruby Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:14 PM

 

It's not bullying if the child said something mean once.

Just because some kids would dwell on it for a long time doesn't make it bullying.

Other kids would laugh and never give it a second thought. Does that mean it's no longer bullying?

The act itself is what determins whether or not it's bullying. Not the reaction to the act.

Quoting Anonymous:

Well they can say it once but your child sees that person regularly(like TC sees a lot of same ppl here even if she claims she "doesnt remember them") and remembers the hurtful things they said and dwell on it again.
What about then?


Quoting danie24:

 


I agree that bullying can be a one time thing (harassment can happen one time and it's still harassment) such as physical violence, physical threats, sexual violence, sexual threats, etc.


But saying something mean once, isn't bullying, in my opinion. It's not harassment in a legal sense, so it can't be bullying.


I can walk up to a random stranger and tell them they are ugly. It would be rude. But I can't be arrested for it or charged with harassment.


Quoting Anonymous:

By the definition in the webster dictionary it states it can be a one time thing or multiple occurrences.



Quoting danie24:


 Saying something mean to someone isn't bullying.



Bullying is consistent harassment, in my opinion.



 There is a difference between being a mean or hurtful person.. and harassing someone.



 


 

 


Sanctimommy
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:16 PM
2 moms liked this

Yes, that's social bullying. I always let my own kids handle it themselves, though. I told them, "Is there something weird about the kid bullying you? Maybe a big nose or funny name? Use that to retaliate.".

It appears to have worked.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:19 PM
Bump
AnnieMcD
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:19 PM
1 mom liked this
That's why your kids are fucking awesome. :o)

Quoting Sanctimommy:

Yes, that's social bullying. I always let my own kids handle it themselves, though. I told them, "Is there something weird about the kid bullying you? Maybe a big nose or funny name? Use that to retaliate.".

It appears to have worked.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
outtamymynd
by Ruby Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:21 PM
Couldn't agree more.

Quoting -42-:

It's called being an asshole.

Kids, hell everyone for that matter, need to learn to not give a shit about what assholes say to them. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:32 PM

To me bullying is a constant,ongoing harrassment.So I wouldn't consider any of those statements as bullying.

Cruel,unkind comments maybe.But if those things,or similar things were being said on a continuing basis,I would think of it as a form of bullying.Also I really don't get 'aggressively opinionated'.Opinionated is opinionated,I just can't see it as being particularly aggressive or not.


mrsbrand
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:40 PM

I think the difference is bullying is a serious of intentional things to hurt. I may be not on here enough or just miss a lot, but I don't think she has followed posters around in different threads to attack them. Do I think she's rude, yes, but a bully, at least not that I have seen, but I don't remember many SNs anyways. 

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