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Divorce & Children HELP Please

Posted by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:01 PM
  • 6 Replies

Hello ladies im a single mother of 4 boys ages ( twins age 9 ) a 6 & 4 year old , Who needs some suggestions please. Im currently going through a divorce doing the best that i can , with getting threw this difficult time in our life right now . Im having alot of issues now that my husband is gone with my boys not listening , talking back to the point they are telling me they hate me . The twins always think im joking when i say something , laugh right in my face , i have made behavior charts after behavior charts and nothing seems to work . My 6 year old is getting upset at me , tells me he hates us ( brothers & I ) throws things against wall , breaks things .  I have looked online how to deal with this but it seems to be nothing but hitting a dead end . My 3 ye walls , breaks things ,  does the same thing as 6 year old , he just thinks its ok to act this way since he sees his older brother doing it . with working 40 hours a week , taking care of children & house time around here is very limited . I need some tips on dealing with these issues . I dont wanna be coming off to them as so strong but i am their mother . I know we are all going through the same things together . SO ANYONE PLEASEEEE .... ANY TIPS thanks in advance  

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:01 PM
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Replies (1-6):
rhope4
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:09 PM
This is a weird suggestion, but it worked for me. Enroll in a martial arts class and have your kids in it too. I did this, and my instructor helped a LOT. I kept up with them in rank til here recently, but it had its humor too. Spar class was my terminology for legalized child abuse, lol. Where else can you hit your child under the watchful eyes of an instructor? By the same token, the kids get away with hitting you, and believe it or not, it is very theraputic both ways. My oldest got reminded mkre than once why he needed to respect his mama!
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rhope4
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:10 PM
Oh, and most dojos (schools) will take kids as young as three. This helped me in more ways than one.
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s.osborne
by Gold Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:11 PM
Slap the taste outta their mouths.
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TiffanyRose06
by Queso<3 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:16 PM
Big hugs for you.

My son (4) has a hard time as well. He started doing horrible in school, wouldn't listen and just completely changed

His dad disappeared back out of his life (was gone 6 months, came back for a few and has been gone a month so far) and slowly he's getting better

I'm getting him in counseling

I like what someone else said about martial arts. I took it as a teenager and it helped me so much deal with the bad things in my life at the time (alcoholic mom)
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quickbooksworm
by Ruby Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:17 PM

I second martial arts.  It's a healthy way for them to get out some aggression.  It's very structured and I think a lot of times kids dealing with a divorce need the extra structure.

acbbsmama
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:21 PM

 They are frustrated. When children that young are frustrated they don't know how to express themselves like we adults can. Find activities they are interested in and encourage them to express themselves that way. For example, my DD loves crafts so I try to help her creativity.

Smacking them as another poster stated is not the answer. It just causes more frustration.

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