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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Is it just MY adult kid

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

or are parents not allowed to have a life once their children become adults??????

My husband and I have 4 adult children in their 20's, 3 are in college and 1 has a family of his own. This year my husband and I have made plans for vacations, we had to go with the days that he could get for vacation time. He's a mail carrier so the time that he can bid for depends on his seniority in the post office so that makes his available dates limited.  He took time for a BIG vacation (to the U.K., our first trip outside of the United States) and then took time off for a smaller vacation to visit a friend he hasn't seen since 1988. The 1st vacation happens to fall around my husband's birthday and the 2nd vacation (to the U.K.) has us leaving 2 days before our 22yo's birthday (given the time hubby could take off and the availability of trip packages we were going to miss his bday no matter what unless we just didn't go at all). He got torqued when we told him we were leaving 2 days before his bday, we should be here for it and not off on a vacation. Tonight I told him that had booked our trip to NV and when we'd be gone and he got pissed because we aren't going to be here for his dad's bday, he's an hour away and he could have been here to celebrate. Last year we went to CA in August, planned the trip in Feb. when my now 22yo lived in another state and had NO CLUE that he would be home by Aug.. We had to cut our vacation, to see my husband's brother who is 20 years older than my husband and is currently 66 years old, short because our son was upset that we'd miss his bday. Given that he had lived away for 2 bdays we understood but GEEZ!!, at what point is it okay for mom and dad to do stuff and have fun, no matter what time of the year it is? I love my sons and all of their growing up years we focused on them. No birthdays missed, everything done as a family and we, as a couple, missed out on a lot of cool stuff because we had children and we focused on them. They all have their own lives, isn't it time for US to have one? If we didn't go to the U.K.. in August, there wouldn't have been a trip, mid-Aug. is just the only summer vacation time hubby can get. And the same applies for the time he's getting off in April. According to our 22yo, apparently his dad can take the time off but we can't go anywhere. He even went so far as to tell me that we don't act like we have kids. THEY ARE ADULTS, not small children who we need to focus on!! His brothers are fine with us doing stuff but he acts like a brat.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:40 AM
Replies (11-20):
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:53 AM

Tell him to grow up .....

Have a great vacation and forget about the whiny brat, lol

bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:53 AM

wow, your son sounds jealous lol

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:55 AM
1 mom liked this

 I did. He hung up because I was being stupid. Yes, he said that. He's lucky he pays his own way in life because other wise I'd cut him off.

Quoting mommamaggi:

Tell him to kiss that ass that made him and enjoy your vacations.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:56 AM

 It's just 1 son. The other 3 are perfectly fine about us doing things. One has a family of his own, 1 lives year round close to the college he attends and the other is 21 and lives aat home but he has his own life and feels we should have our own life. It's just son #2 who is an asshole.

Quoting caito:

You just have asshole kids. I mean, really. They're adults, they're around my age. I'm going to call them assholes because that's what they're acting like.

I'm 24 and my parents are free to do whatever they want. My dad has been all over the country ever since I left home. He's been to NYC, South Dakota, California, Michigan, Florida, and Mexico. Yeah, he's gone on a few important dates, but whatever, I'm an adult and he doesn't owe me a damn thing. A phone call will suffice.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:56 AM

I think you should go on your trips as planned & enjoy yourselves. If celebrating the birthday's with you is so important to your adult kids, maybe get together & celebrate them either before you leave or after you get back. Otherwise, just tell them they're "big boys" & will be fine to skip celebrating this year. 

With my parents, we occassionally get together to celebrate birthdays on the day, but more often just do a phone call on the day & celebrate together whenever. My parents, as adults almost never celebrated a birthday with my grandparents, but always called & gave them cards & gifts.

mommamaggi
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:56 AM

He will have to get over it. You devoted 20 years to him, you deserve a little you time. Good luck Momma!


Quoting Anonymous:

 I did. He hung up because I was being stupid. Yes, he said that. He's lucky he pays his own way in life because other wise I'd cut him off.

Quoting mommamaggi:

Tell him to kiss that ass that made him and enjoy your vacations.




chefmartha
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:57 AM

He'll get over it. LOL...Go enjoy your vacation. My oldest is 22 and he'd love it if we'd go and leave him home, but not if we left his sisters here. He's not the partying type, just wants some time alone. Our girls are still in high school but our youngest is like yours. She's 18 and we can't leave the house without feeling like we're the kids and she's the parent. Blows up our phones wanting to know where we are and when we'll be home. Our middle child is happy to be with her brother or anyone else who wants to spend time with her but due to physical disabilities she can't be by herself. I'm hoping one day to be able to make a UK trip like you. Have a great time. Your son just needs to go get a life and let you live yours.

Bauxite-17
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:57 AM

Tell him hes a grown up...act like it, lol.

 

I'm 22 years old, and understand my dad has been my dad for 18 years...I'm cool with just a call. lol.

TaralynnStewart
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:59 AM
Time he put on boxer briefs and put away his Spider-Man's.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:00 AM

 He's not jealous. He just wants our undivided attention. It's our fault. We "spoiled" our kids with a SAHM, parents who never did anything without their kids (I mean NEVER, not anything) until our oldest son turned 13 and our youngest was 8, etc.. I pretty much told him he had to be fucking kidding me, that he was going to get mad because we were going on vacation during his dad's bday. That's when he told me I was acting like I didn't even have kids. Give me a break. He's 22 years old, there's been a few days that he's missed with us because of girlfriends, plans, etc.. That's okay apparently.

Quoting bustybee:

wow, your son sounds jealous lol

 

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