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I had an abortion. And I have never stopped grieving UPDATE #3

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:32 AM
  • 298 Replies
7 moms liked this

My story:

I had an abortion right when I turned 18. (2005) I feel that the choice I made was absolutly the wrong one

The child was planned, but after I had concieved my then bf ( we had married but it was just a religous ceremony) decided that he did not want the baby. His family was totally against me having the child. I caved under the presure and had an abortion. I felt betrayed by the people who were suppose to love and protect us. I also felt like I had betrayed who I was, as a woman and a mother to have killed my child. 

I have felt so bad about it so many years later. And I ALSO feel guilty for grieving. Thought the years I have struggled. Sometimes are better than others.

When I was at the clinic everyone sold the idea to me like it was a reset button. That having a baby is a lifelong choice, and that having an abortion is not. They didnt tell me that I would grieve for the rest of my life though. I really feel that there was a miscarry of justice. That clinics are not being totally honest. That the only negative side effect from an abortion is not just the possiblity of an infection. 

I tried to feel really empowered by my choice. Look how free I was after all!! But it didnt work. 

Truth be told. My choice did not sink in until my sister gave birth to her child. Then it hit me " I had been pregnant with a baby! I should have a 7 month old right now!!

Purpose of this post: To connect with others who have had had this experience? Got an abortion that they later regreted? Has anyone felt guilty for grieving? What have you found helps bring comfort, clousure, or honors the memory of your child? This post is also a causionary tale. So feel free to share it with anyone who is thinking about an abortion

*PS this post is not about weather or not abortion should be legal, or if its wrong etc etc etc. ALL of that is for a DIFFERENT post (that you gotta make yourself)*

*PPS I am NOT looking for any sort of sympathy! I am trying to connect to other mothers who have been in the same or simular circumstances*

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
EachNewBreath
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:33 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:34 AM
4 moms liked this
Yup. abortion is a death penalty for you and the baby. maybe next time you will think twice before opening your legs
EachNewBreath
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:35 AM


thank you 

Quoting Anonymous:

Yup. abortion is a death penalty for you and the baby. maybe next time you will think twice before opening your legs



EachNewBreath
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:35 AM

Anyone else? 

EachNewBreath
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:37 AM

BUMP!

mommamaggi
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:37 AM
1 mom liked this

I felt guilty for a while, but the guilt subsided. My circumstances were much different though; I was raped, you were in love. I was depressed, you were happy. I didn't want the baby, you did. It was my choice, you were pushed.

I am so so sorry that you were guilted and pushed into giving up your baby; no one has the right to tell a woman when to or not to have a baby and it makes me so angry that you were pressured into doing something you didn't want to do. 

*hug* Time will help you heal, just please, don't ever let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do ever again. Good luck.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:37 AM
2 moms liked this
just saying. I'm not sure how an abortion could ever be empowering when the pregnancy was originally planned


Quoting EachNewBreath:


thank you 


Quoting Anonymous:

Yup. abortion is a death penalty for you and the baby. maybe next time you will think twice before opening your legs





SadeAyosmom
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:37 AM
2 moms liked this

I aborted Dec 20th. i would of been 12-14 weeks this week.

I still feel raw about it. So i guess that answers my question if i will ever get over it. no.

Fkn mini pill i hate you. i really fkn hate you mini pill.

AnastasiaKorsh
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:38 AM

I have had an abortion, I don't regret the choice at all. I rarely ever think back on it.

I do have a friend, who like you, was pressured to get an abortion but by her husband. She was a wreck after it for a while. But when she had her daughter, she seems to have gotten better.

If you feel so badly about getting an abortion, have you looked into counseling?

wannabpregnant
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:38 AM
=,(', I'm sorry


Quoting mommamaggi:

I felt guilty for a while, but the guilt subsided. My circumstances were much different though; I was raped, you were in love. I was depressed, you were happy. I didn't want the baby, you did. It was my choice, you were pushed.

I am so so sorry that you were guilted and pushed into giving up your baby; no one has the right to tell a woman when to or not to have a baby and it makes me so angry that you were pressured into doing something you didn't want to do. 

*hug* Time will help you heal, just please, don't ever let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do ever again. Good luck.


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