I had an abortion. And I have never stopped grieving UPDATE #3
I had an abortion right when I turned 18. (2005) I feel that the choice I made was absolutly the wrong one
The child was planned, but after I had concieved my then bf ( we had married but it was just a religous ceremony) decided that he did not want the baby. His family was totally against me having the child. I caved under the presure and had an abortion. I felt betrayed by the people who were suppose to love and protect us. I also felt like I had betrayed who I was, as a woman and a mother to have killed my child.
I have felt so bad about it so many years later. And I ALSO feel guilty for grieving. Thought the years I have struggled. Sometimes are better than others.
When I was at the clinic everyone sold the idea to me like it was a reset button. That having a baby is a lifelong choice, and that having an abortion is not. They didnt tell me that I would grieve for the rest of my life though. I really feel that there was a miscarry of justice. That clinics are not being totally honest. That the only negative side effect from an abortion is not just the possiblity of an infection.
I tried to feel really empowered by my choice. Look how free I was after all!! But it didnt work.
Truth be told. My choice did not sink in until my sister gave birth to her child. Then it hit me " I had been pregnant with a baby! I should have a 7 month old right now!!
Purpose of this post: To connect with others who have had had this experience? Got an abortion that they later regreted? Has anyone felt guilty for grieving? What have you found helps bring comfort, clousure, or honors the memory of your child? This post is also a causionary tale. So feel free to share it with anyone who is thinking about an abortion
*PS this post is not about weather or not abortion should be legal, or if its wrong etc etc etc. ALL of that is for a DIFFERENT post (that you gotta make yourself)*
*PPS I am NOT looking for any sort of sympathy! I am trying to connect to other mothers who have been in the same or simular circumstances*