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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Easier to be a SAHM...? *ETA

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Was it easier to be a SAHM "back in the day"?

It occured to me that times have changed dramatically in the past 50-60 years. And there is still a notion of how SAHM are "lazy", or have it "easy". I think that may stem from outdated perceptions.

See way back when families were close knit, a support system, there to help with the kids/baby. Grandma would be very involved, aunts would be very involved, if mom needed help family and extended family would have her back in a jiffy! Not like today where there are many broken families or families that are not close, etc.

These days, you have people like myself, who get no help, no family support, no OPTION of having someone watch the kids for 5 minutes, which makes my job that much harder.

I just can't understand the notion of "Oh you SAHM, stop your whining, you have it easy, women have been doing your same job for thousands of years", while that statement has truth to it, we should also note that throughout history moms have always needed HELP at one point or another, by family, or in tribes where mothers help out other mothers and it is a GROUP EFFORT.

Me, I'm all alone, my DH is gone either at work or asleep 20hrs out of a 24hr day. I do not have family to help, and no women that would help without me spending a pretty penny lol.... I love being a SAHM, its hard and stressful, but that one comment just got me thinking.

 

ETA:  This post has NOTHING to do with WORKING MOMS(not meaning that in a negative way lol).

It's not about WM Vs. SAHM, its about today's SAHM Vs the SAHM of long ago throughout history.

I love hearing what you all have been saying, and whether a WAHM or a SAHM having it "easy" is all circumstancial so there is no grouping any one party together.

BACK TO THE POINT: Some of you pointed out modern covienances, and while I agree that it makes physical labor easier - example: Vacuum, dishwasher, washing machines/dryers, being able to drive, t.v, etc----- I still think that as mothers MOST of our strife whether working or staying home is a MENTAL GAME, and for the SAHM of today you can go batsh!t crazy having no help(even for 5 minutes while you want to pee!), you cannot rely on family, and the fact that very few moms stay home make it hard to band together and offer some support and adult conversation! Its HARD.

The physicalities of my job aren't that bad, but I would rather my body be drained than my SOUL! lol

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:08 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:20 AM
Why do you need help or someone to watch them? I prefer for the family to be distantly involved. It's less people who feel the have the right to parent. It does not take a village to raise a kid. Why does your husband sleep and work so much.
lucsch
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:20 AM

I know my SAHM mother worked harder than me, but then that's her personality. She never stopped from 6am until 10pm. She cleaned, raised a garden, canned, sewed, etc. She still works harder than me.

Like a PP said, everyones situation is different. My youngest is now 10yo. It was harder to be  a SAHM when she was a baby. We also have no relatives here--never have--but I tell you, when I was a working mom with little kids, it was very difficult. My dh was a SAHD when our first was born. Going to work every day to be the sole support of the family and leaving my baby, who I had TTC for 3 years to have, was excruciatingly hard.

I was thrilled to get to stay at home with my last baby--for the first time ever--it has been like Christmas every day!

brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:21 AM

Mu husband works a crazy amount of hours and my nearest family member lives 4 hours away. Its still is easy to be a SAHM. I worked the beginning of my sons life and it wasn't fun at all. I knew no joy just stress.

My house is clean, we eat healthy meals, and i get to volunteer 3 times a week in my sons class. All thanks to my husband. Who is the one that truly has it hard in this family.

Photo: -Randi.Photo

iluvsn85
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:22 AM
This.


Quoting MommyAddie:

I think it may have been easier back in the day because all the other women in the neighborhood were home, too. A larger social support system.

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SommelierMom
by Emerald Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:22 AM



Quoting MommyAddie:

I think it may have been easier back in the day because all the other women in the neighborhood were home, too. A larger social support system.


I agree with this point.  I'm one of very few SAHMs in my circle of friends, so my social life is limited during the day.

meangreen18
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:23 AM
I swear everytime I go my DS (5) just has to come in and have a conversation lol there have been a few times where I've had to take my DD (5months) in there with me because she didn't want to be put down lol

Quoting Anonymous:

Lol. I know how you feel I havent used the restroom alone in almost 2 years.







Quoting meangreen18:

I have no help either, for the past 5 years lol my DH works two jobs 6-7 days a week so I don't expect him to help with too much when he's off. I've gotten used to it. I would enjoy a nice trip to the bathroom by myself every once and a while though. lol

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lucsch
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:24 AM


I still have this through our homeschooling co-op. I didn't when I worked, though!

Quoting iluvsn85:

This.


Quoting MommyAddie:

I think it may have been easier back in the day because all the other women in the neighborhood were home, too. A larger social support system.



SommelierMom
by Emerald Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:24 AM



Quoting brettsmomma:

Mu husband works a crazy amount of hours and my nearest family member lives 4 hours away. Its still is easy to be a SAHM. I worked the beginning of my sons life and it wasn't fun at all. I knew no joy just stress.

My house is clean, we eat healthy meals, and i get to volunteer 3 times a week in my sons class. All thanks to my husband. Who is the one that truly has it hard in this family.

I think it's a different story once the kids are in school.  You have all that time each day to get things done.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:25 AM
I guess I'm missing the part where people think SAHM's are lazy. What's there to be lazy about? I would actually LOVE to be lazy once in a while! Just sayn!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:26 AM
Quoting MommyAddie:

I think it may have been easier back in the day because all the other women in the neighborhood were home, too. A larger social support system.

I know lots of sahms doesn't mean I socialize or interact with them. I have my own thing to do and don't feel the need to waste time with the masses.
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