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I didn't realize how stupid it was..

Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies
1 mom liked this
Until I was 28 to be a teen mom. I didn't realize all the mistakes I made and how much it changed me emotionally. I didn't realize how young and immature I was. And I was very mature for my age!

I know this isn't the right thing to say but if someone would have really sat down and talked to me and explained things to me I would have gotten and abortion or done adoption. I would have traveled, got an 8 year degree, married for love (even though I love my husband that's not why this started) and I would have had a baby because I had something to give a new baby

I'm not dwelling. I'm happy with life now. I'm just saying it really never hit me until I was 28
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:18 AM
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You live and learn. You can't take it back now, so don't dwell on your mistakes.
by ~Tammie~ on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:18 AM
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You can not live your life looking back. Look forward. Live from your experience because they make you into the person you are. :)

Photo: -Randi.Photo

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:19 AM
Hey. Things happen. I'm sure anyone can look back and think of at least one thing they would have done differently.
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by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:21 AM

 We live and learn!

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:21 AM

 Many who chose adoption envy you. The grass isn't always greener.

by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:22 AM

I wish that I would have waited to have kids as well, even though I was 24 when I had my son.

But, ya live and learn. I have not had any more kids because I realize now how much better it would have been for me to be financially stable and married when I had my son.

I'm financially stable now, but not married, which is why I don't want any more kids.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:26 AM

Your outlook at 18.......28.........38..........all different.

I had my DS at 35........I totally enjoyed the whole experience. I was able to give him whatever I wanted (not that I enjoyed the whole experience.

I can't say what I would have done at an earlier age....but my sisters who had children at that age......say they wish they had known more.....been get the idea.

There are pros and every age.

Don't regret......enjoy.....and do those things now. No one said you couldn't.

by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:38 AM
I feel the same way. I went away to college, got into drugs & was forced to move back home. I thought I was getting my shit together, I had enrolled in school for spring semester, was going to move back to my college town (about 8 hours from home) and do it the right way. Decided to have a fling with a guy who I knew was an ass, but I thought he was hot & I wasn't planning on sticking around, so it didn't matter. I was 19. A month later, I was pregnant, my world fell apart. If I had aborted, I would have lost my (religious) family. My mom told me that if I chose adoption, that she would fight to adopt him herself. I love my mom, but I didn't (nor do I now) approve of her parenting style (think LOTS of yelling, throwing things, thriving off of control) and wouldn't put a child through that knowingly. I gave up my plans, started working 60 hrs a week & had my son, his bio-father is a deadbeat (as expected) I'm now 29, a sahm to 3, married to someone whom I consider my best friend with benifits, but that "love" isn't there. It's whats best for my family as a whole, but not necessarily me.

We can't change our pasts. We only have the chance to mold our futures.
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:39 AM

That's a lot of insight, and a lot of wishing....and really very common when you're getting close to 30 ;) 

As great as all this insight is, so you really think you would have listened when you were a teen? As it is the nature of an older woman to look back and say "Now that I know I would have _____" it's also the nature of a teen to say "I know what I'm doing!" You're only 28, you can still get a degree, you can still travel...You can still do the things you want to do...but you'll do them a little differently and you'll do them with the wisdom of the experiences you've had in life so far....

You'll do this little look back as you get close to ever "mile stone" birthday...The trick is not to get lost in the "if I had only known, I would have done it differently" and appreciate your mistakes, your victories and your wishes....and then move forward with what you know....

You wouldn't be the person that you are today without the life that you have had...And while you may have experienced travel and better paying jobs, you would not have experienced your child....

It might seem silly, but there is a poem I learned in grade school that really speaks to me about life and the choices we make with it....

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both,

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could to where it bent in the undergrowth,

Then took the other, just as fair,

And having, perhaps, the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

But as for that the passing there,

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning, equally lay,

In leaves no step had trodden black,

Oh, I marked the first for another day!

Yet know how way leads unto way,

I doubted if I should ever come back,

I shall be telling this with a sigh,

Somewhere ages and ages hence,

Two roads diverged in a wood,and I, 

I took the one less traveled by, 

And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:40 AM

 I hear ya! I was not a teen mom, but I do look back on my first marriage and wish I could have done things differently.

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