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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

do working fathers raise their kids

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Honest question

Why do we accuse women who work of letting someone else "raise their kids", but the standard does not apply to fathers? Does that mean that a SAHM raises the children and the father just pays for them? A working father is "taking care of his family", but a working woman is abandoning her children to be "raised" by someone else?

When your child enters school, does that mean that their teacher is raising them? Nope, nobody makes that accusation. They go to school and you "raise them" during the hours they are with you, right?


For any of the working moms who are tired of being based for working, come join the full time workin mamas group... where you will never be accused of letting daycare raise your kids !

 

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:23 AM
Replies (261-270):
Elle.tea.22
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:53 PM
We are both there. Sometimes I'm there, sometimes he's there and sometimes we are there together. Kids don't need to be with both parents 110% of the time! Lol
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StoneColdKiller
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:01 PM
I'm not going for that the daycare for 1 year olds that are 9-10 hours are learning all day. Of course your child was potty trained she was there most of the day that is something a sahm teaches usually not school at all. Day area do the same things a sahm does but not a school.

Quoting Anonymous:

Believe it or not, kids DO learn at daycare. My ODD is only 3 and can count to 50, she knows her ABCs, she can read basic books and now that I am a SAHM we will be working on more complex chapter books. She can tie her shoes, she was potty trained by the time she was 2.

All of which was helped by daycare. I worked with her at home, but it was at her teacher suggestion that we started so much so early. She is more advanced than most first graders.

Kids DO learn at daycare.


Quoting StoneColdKiller:

 so a daycare for a 1 year old is just like Kindergarten for a 5 year old? They do everything the same just one has books.


Quoting AliKatAK47:

No there isn't. They are almost the same except one has books.


Quoting EthansFabMom:

There is a SIGNIFICANT difference in DAYCARE and SCHOOL. Quit being so damn ignorant.

 




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Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:10 PM

Well considering I'm a SAHM now and my YDD is potty trained at the same age, it has nothing to do with just daycare. It has to do with INVOLVED PEOPLE.

But like I answered the other responder, perhaps you would have preferred I stayed with her father while he beat the shit out of me and threw things at her as an infant.

SOME of us care more about our childs safety and providing for them than we do calling ourselves a stay at home parent.

But I guess we all have different ways of viewing what loving our children means, for some that would be making sure they are provided for in any way necessary. For others that is having the title of stay at home mom.


Quoting StoneColdKiller:

I'm not going for that the daycare for 1 year olds that are 9-10 hours are learning all day. Of course your child was potty trained she was there most of the day that is something a sahm teaches usually not school at all. Day area do the same things a sahm does but not a school.

Quoting Anonymous:

Believe it or not, kids DO learn at daycare. My ODD is only 3 and can count to 50, she knows her ABCs, she can read basic books and now that I am a SAHM we will be working on more complex chapter books. She can tie her shoes, she was potty trained by the time she was 2.

All of which was helped by daycare. I worked with her at home, but it was at her teacher suggestion that we started so much so early. She is more advanced than most first graders.

Kids DO learn at daycare.


Quoting StoneColdKiller:

 so a daycare for a 1 year old is just like Kindergarten for a 5 year old? They do everything the same just one has books.


Quoting AliKatAK47:

No there isn't. They are almost the same except one has books.


Quoting EthansFabMom:

There is a SIGNIFICANT difference in DAYCARE and SCHOOL. Quit being so damn ignorant.

 






CodenameDuchess
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Working moms are still moms just as much as SAHMs.

What other moms do you consider "part-time"? Single moms with joint custody? Moms with school-age kids or teens who are out if the house from 8-4 every day?

Just wondering where you get your asinine definitions.

It's a good thing you don't have any daughters.


Quoting EthansFabMom:

I'm a full time mom and you're a part time mom. That's just a fact.




Quoting Anonymous:

If what you're teaching your daughters is that they are only successful parents if they stay at home and give up any hopes of a career, then even as a "part time mommy" i'm doing a better job. just sayin'.




Quoting EthansFabMom:

Which would then mean you are a part time mommy. Just sayin!








Quoting Anonymous:

My identity as a mother doesn't magically disappear while I'm at work.

I am raising my kids with daycare/school's help by example to be productive members of society.  Just sayin'.



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CodenameDuchess
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:06 PM
So.....following your responses here, the crux of your whole argument is that one is not a real "full-time mommy" unless their children are with them 24/7?

Quoting EthansFabMom:

Again, everything he's learned I have tough him myself...me....his mother. And I do lots of mommy and me play dates so he gets interaction with other children while being supervised by me, his mother.




Quoting Anonymous:

And I just stated my fact. Children DO learn at daycare. Not only that they get to experience social interaction at daycare. Which helps get them over the stranger fear when you finally have to send them off to school. Yes there are day care centers that are nothing more than overpaid babysitters, but some daycares having caring, involved teachers that educate your children from infancy up, giving them love and care and helping them learn and adjust to the world.

Being forced to work does not mean that you don't care for your children. If that were the case every single working parent or two income household should have to send their kids to an orphanage or live on welfare. Childcare is 24/7, and anyone who thinks otherwise obviously doesn't spend enough time with their children. Being absent for a working day doesn't make you any less of a parent than someone who is blessed with the ability to stay home with their children.




Quoting EthansFabMom:

I'm not passing judgement on anyone. Just stating my opinion as well as some facts.








Quoting Anonymous:

Well then there is no excuse to judge others. Not unless you want people to say you weren't good for your son because you went back to work when you left. As someone who went through it, it's completely asinine to judge someone else without knowing their situation. Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to live as a one income family.




Quoting EthansFabMom:

My child's father was an abuser...I GET IT...I left him and worked full time and left my son with my mom. I met the most amazing man on the planet and it just so happened his income allows me to stay home with my son. Again, my opinions are based on my own life experiences.











Quoting Anonymous:


Good for you. I guess I should have stayed in a relationship where I had the shit beat out of me daily. I guess my DD should have stayed with a father who threw her own bassinet at her. I guess THAT is what you prefer. So be grateful. IM grateful that I CARE enough about my children to put their SAFETY over my own wants of being a SAHM.

And before you dare say it, he showed no abusive signs until she was born. He wasn't abusive until he knew I was far enough away from my family when I moved in with him 2 weeks after her birth that I had no one to run too.





Quoting EthansFabMom:

Your child isn't any smarter than mine...the only difference is I taught my 3 year old everything MYSELF....that of which I am so grateful for and will NEVER take for granted.














Quoting Anonymous:

Believe it or not, kids DO learn at daycare. My ODD is only 3 and can count to 50, she knows her ABCs, she can read basic books and now that I am a SAHM we will be working on more complex chapter books. She can tie her shoes, she was potty trained by the time she was 2.

All of which was helped by daycare. I worked with her at home, but it was at her teacher suggestion that we started so much so early. She is more advanced than most first graders.

Kids DO learn at daycare.






Quoting StoneColdKiller:

 so a daycare for a 1 year old is just like Kindergarten for a 5 year old? They do everything the same just one has books.






Quoting AliKatAK47:

No there isn't. They are almost the same except one has books.






Quoting EthansFabMom:

There is a SIGNIFICANT difference in DAYCARE and SCHOOL. Quit being so damn ignorant.





 




































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MsEmma88
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:08 PM
Another wonderful double standard where women get the short end of the stick
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singlemom1208
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:11 PM
I think some missed the point of this op
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peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 5:26 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting singlemom1208:

I think some missed the point of this op



I think LOTS of people missed the point

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 30 on May. 17, 2014 at 12:23 PM

Why do you care what other people think? You sound defensive. Guilty conscience?

suzanneyea
by Ruby Member on May. 17, 2014 at 12:27 PM

I just don't want a paid employee spending more time with my child than me. The years 1 to 5 are when they develop their character and who they will be. I think it is very important for the mother or the father to be home full time. I also believe a parent should be home when they return from school.

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