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do working fathers raise their kids

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Honest question

Why do we accuse women who work of letting someone else "raise their kids", but the standard does not apply to fathers? Does that mean that a SAHM raises the children and the father just pays for them? A working father is "taking care of his family", but a working woman is abandoning her children to be "raised" by someone else?

When your child enters school, does that mean that their teacher is raising them? Nope, nobody makes that accusation. They go to school and you "raise them" during the hours they are with you, right?


For any of the working moms who are tired of being based for working, come join the full time workin mamas group... where you will never be accused of letting daycare raise your kids !

 

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:23 AM
Replies (41-50):
sarahfire
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:00 AM
1 mom liked this

First off, you need to quit being so damn rude, the OP is NOT ignorant, she knows  probably a lot more than you.

Next - Care to elaborate on that significant difference?  School and daycare are roughly the same amount of hours and days per week, they both serve a dual purpose of teaching children and watching/keeping them safe while the parents work or do other things.

My 7 yr old son goes to school now so I guess I am "raising" him, but since my younger son goes to daycare, I am not "raising" him. Does that really make sense to you?

Even though he learns something new every day, he is not yet 2 yrs old but they start teaching early.

Quoting EthansFabMom:

There is a SIGNIFICANT difference in DAYCARE and SCHOOL. Quit being so damn ignorant.


AnHpuresugar
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:00 AM
1 mom liked this


Well, aren't you special.  Instead of bashing mom's that do the responsible thing and work to provide for their kids because they HAVE TO, how about thanking your lucky stars that you are ABLE to stay home with your kids all of the time.  My children are taught and loved and raised by my husband and myself.  We both work in order to provide for them.  I bet you have strong feelings on women being helped by government assistance that are with their children too.  Damned if you do and damned if you don't.  

Go ahead and bash away, darling.  It just makes you look bad.

Quoting chrtymcdnl:

no i am agreeing. Daycare is different & to say its not is stupid. i think its funny when these moms that work all the time have to convinve people that THEY DO raise their kids. JUST saying.

Quoting EthansFabMom:

Are you agreeing with me? Or bitching at me like everyone else lol


Quoting chrtymcdnl:

yeah and they go to school and care for themselves for the most part. If you are putting your BABIES in day care. Someone else is changing their diapers and wiping their ass and feeding them... SO YEAH BIG FRIKIN DIFFERENCE


Again, There is a SIGNIFICANT difference in DAYCARE and SCHOOL. Most working parents drop their kids off at DAYCARE at 7am and don't pick up their children til 5 or 6 pm 5 days a week! School is generally 8-2. Luckily my husband makes a GREAT living so I can stay at home and he has the luxury of coming and going as he pleases so he takes GREAT PART in raisingass and fmy son.





Quoting peanutsmommy1:


Quoting EthansFabMom:

There is a SIGNIFICANT difference in DAYCARE and SCHOOL. Quit being so damn ignorant.

please explain

and I am not ignorant, I am making a valid point of a double standard women are held to








macbudsmom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:01 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow sounds to me like he did suck it up by taking on a second job as a way to support your decision to be a sahm.  Do you not appreciate that?  Do you not see that he is raising them by busting his butt to provide for all of you?


Quoting Anonymous:

I think I do the raising here. I'm choosing to stay home after having my newest (DD 5 months) so my DH choose to pick up another job and usually works both 6-7 days a week. If we have nothing planned on the weekends he will usually sleep in until around 12. He's not very active with the children when he's awake because he's "too tired". I understand that and don't nag him about, just wish he would suck it up and spend time with his children. Whenever I'm exhausted or sick I have to push through and carry on with my parenting duties, why can't he?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:01 AM

Time is important IMO. In my teen years I was a nanny for a couple who saw their children for about 7 hours A WEEK. That was it, they literally had them only for show. If you're spending quality time with your kids, good for you. If they are with someone else more than they are with you, something is wrong IMO. Does dad spend time with the kids after work? Then he should be good, he can get quite a few hours in each day. Does dad come home and completely ignore the kids? Then mom is raising them and dad's just pitching in the cash. It's all up to the individual situation.

imvanilla
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:02 AM
*Sigh*

Yes you did. The tone of your comments say otherwise, not to mention your instant and incorrect assumption about my comment. You tried to insult me to get your point across.

You find out I stay home and now it's all 'light and love', and that's not what I was saying...bullshit.


Quoting EthansFabMom:

I never said I was better than anyone, I never implied that I was better than anyone, and I don't think I'm better than anyone.




Quoting imvanilla:

Bahahahahahahahahahaha.





I am a sahm, silly little woman.





Ohhhh am I better than you because my son does all of his schooling at home? I mean they aren't shipped anywhere through the day.





No, no I'm not. Just like you aren't. You have a very sad and skewed view on how things work.






Quoting EthansFabMom:

Actually it's the exact opposite. You tell yourself there is no difference to make yourself feel better about daycare workers spending more time with your child than you do. I chose to raise my child myself and I'm entitled to that choice just as you are entitled to how you live your life.








Quoting imvanilla:

No there isn't.









That's just what you tell yourself to feel superior.










Quoting EthansFabMom:

There is a SIGNIFICANT difference in DAYCARE and SCHOOL. Quit being so damn ignorant.





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
EthansFabMom
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:02 AM
If you can't see the difference, that's your own issue. I'm not going to argue with you. Live your life how you want and I will live mine how I want.


Quoting sarahfire:

First off, you need to quit being so damn rude, the OP is NOT ignorant, she knows  probably a lot more than you.

Next - Care to elaborate on that significant difference?  School and daycare are roughly the same amount of hours and days per week, they both serve a dual purpose of teaching children and watching/keeping them safe while the parents work or do other things.

My 7 yr old son goes to school now so I guess I am "raising" him, but since my younger son goes to daycare, I am not "raising" him. Does that really make sense to you?

Even though he learns something new every day, he is not yet 2 yrs old but they start teaching early.

Quoting EthansFabMom:

There is a SIGNIFICANT difference in DAYCARE and SCHOOL. Quit being so damn ignorant.



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
macbudsmom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:04 AM

It takes money to raise a child.  So is it safe to say if you do not provide financially for them, you are not raising them either???

AnHpuresugar
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:06 AM


Bwahaha!  Bless your heart, darling.  You are so ....special.

Quoting chrtymcdnl:

no i dont judge anyone that needs public assistance. Why would I? And you look intelligent with your post? no you look just as stupid with your crap. must have hit a nerve. smh

Quoting AnHpuresugar:


Well, aren't you special.  Instead of bashing mom's that do the responsible thing and work to provide for their kids because they HAVE TO, how about thanking your lucky stars that you are ABLE to stay home with your kids all of the time.  My children are taught and loved and raised by my husband and myself.  We both work in order to provide for them.  I bet you have strong feelings on women being helped by government assistance that are with their children too.  Damned if you do and damned if you don't.  

Go ahead and bash away, darling.  It just makes you look bad.

Quoting chrtymcdnl:

no i am agreeing. Daycare is different & to say its not is stupid. i think its funny when these moms that work all the time have to convinve people that THEY DO raise their kids. JUST saying.

Quoting EthansFabMom:

Are you agreeing with me? Or bitching at me like everyone else lol


Quoting chrtymcdnl:

yeah and they go to school and care for themselves for the most part. If you are putting your BABIES in day care. Someone else is changing their diapers and wiping their ass and feeding them... SO YEAH BIG FRIKIN DIFFERENCE


Again, There is a SIGNIFICANT difference in DAYCARE and SCHOOL. Most working parents drop their kids off at DAYCARE at 7am and don't pick up their children til 5 or 6 pm 5 days a week! School is generally 8-2. Luckily my husband makes a GREAT living so I can stay at home and he has the luxury of coming and going as he pleases so he takes GREAT PART in raisingass and fmy son.





Quoting peanutsmommy1:


Quoting EthansFabMom:

There is a SIGNIFICANT difference in DAYCARE and SCHOOL. Quit being so damn ignorant.

please explain

and I am not ignorant, I am making a valid point of a double standard women are held to











EthansFabMom
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:07 AM
Trust me there is no "light and love" toward you. Just letting you know I don't think I'm better than anyone else, never said such and never implied such.


Quoting imvanilla:

*Sigh*



Yes you did. The tone of your comments say otherwise, not to mention your instant and incorrect assumption about my comment. You tried to insult me to get your point across.



You find out I stay home and now it's all 'light and love', and that's not what I was saying...bullshit.




Quoting EthansFabMom:

I never said I was better than anyone, I never implied that I was better than anyone, and I don't think I'm better than anyone.






Quoting imvanilla:

Bahahahahahahahahahaha.







I am a sahm, silly little woman.







Ohhhh am I better than you because my son does all of his schooling at home? I mean they aren't shipped anywhere through the day.







No, no I'm not. Just like you aren't. You have a very sad and skewed view on how things work.








Quoting EthansFabMom:

Actually it's the exact opposite. You tell yourself there is no difference to make yourself feel better about daycare workers spending more time with your child than you do. I chose to raise my child myself and I'm entitled to that choice just as you are entitled to how you live your life.










Quoting imvanilla:

No there isn't.











That's just what you tell yourself to feel superior.












Quoting EthansFabMom:

There is a SIGNIFICANT difference in DAYCARE and SCHOOL. Quit being so damn ignorant.






Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Autumn19
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:07 AM


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