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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

should i just give him space?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 53 Replies

last week my husband hit me with a bombshell. he said he didn't know if he was in love with me anymore. i cried and told him i could try to fix some things about myself that could be helpful. he said he needed a few days to think. i said i'd give him space. well, last weekend i left for the night and about an hour after i left he called and said he loved me and that we could try (to make it work).

so, this week he still feels distant. no cuddles or hugs or anything really. he has texted me but just for basic things. right now I just texted "hope you have a good day. i am going to Target, need anything?". All he replied was "PB & cereal". No 'thanks babe you too' or anything nice.

so, should I just continue to give him space without expecting anything in return for awhile? i feel unloved but I realize he still may be struggling with things. advice is appreciated.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Hannahluvsdogs
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:09 AM
Did this come out of nowhere or have you two been having problems for a while? I'd suggest counseling to work out whatever he's struggling with.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:09 AM
Give him some space.


But also start doing all those little things you used to do for him when he fell in love with you. Often times life gets in the way and we forget about the little things. Remind him why he fell in love with you.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:11 AM

the announcement came out of nowhere. we do have assorted issues but lately things had been going well. he doesn't want couples therapy right now but he may want to see a therapist alone.


Quoting Hannahluvsdogs:

Did this come out of nowhere or have you two been having problems for a while? I'd suggest counseling to work out whatever he's struggling with.



alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:11 AM

 Marriage counseling.

KristenandCaleb
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:13 AM

I say do nice things for him, give him lots of space, and dress sexy! Show him what he's missing : P. It's his loss if he decides that it isn't working.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:13 AM

yeah, he mentioned some things like he thought I didn't find him attractive anymore. also that I have been sleeping in another room M-F simply because his alarm goes off at 5am! I cannot function at 5am. but, I have started sleeping in our room again all week. I am exhausted but it's worth it if he needs it. I didn't think he cared though - we don't even snuggle like we used to years ago.


Quoting Anonymous:

Give him some space.


But also start doing all those little things you used to do for him when he fell in love with you. Often times life gets in the way and we forget about the little things. Remind him why he fell in love with you.



jamamama00
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:14 AM
1 mom liked this

Any chance he is cheating, or thinking about cheating? The "I need space" declaration is often something cheaters come up with when they are starting an affair or thinking about having one. They somehow think that making it known that they aren't happy with you is somehow enough of a notice, so that they can jump into another relationship without so much guilt.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:16 AM

that's what I figure. i need to make it about him right now. everything else should fall into place if he starts realizing how much he loves me again. and, lol, I NEED to start dressing better especially at night. I have been wearing this flannel granny gown that covers neck to ankles. I'm sure that isn't helping!


Quoting KristenandCaleb:

I say do nice things for him, give him lots of space, and dress sexy! Show him what he's missing : P. It's his loss if he decides that it isn't working.



QueenBof6
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:18 AM
Sounds like he needs attention.

How would you feel if he was sleeping in another room 5 nights a week?


Quoting Anonymous:

yeah, he mentioned some things like he thought I didn't find him attractive anymore. also that I have been sleeping in another room M-F simply because his alarm goes off at 5am! I cannot function at 5am. but, I have started sleeping in our room again all week. I am exhausted but it's worth it if he needs it. I didn't think he cared though - we don't even snuggle like we used to years ago.



Quoting Anonymous:

Give him some space.


But also start doing all those little things you used to do for him when he fell in love with you. Often times life gets in the way and we forget about the little things. Remind him why he fell in love with you.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:18 AM

i asked him directly if there was somebody else. he said no. i have never suspected cheating but i know it's possible. if he's truly so unhappy I'm sure the thought has crossed his mind but i don't feel like he's acted upon it.


Quoting jamamama00:

Any chance he is cheating, or thinking about cheating? The "I need space" declaration is often something cheaters come up with when they are starting an affair or thinking about having one. They somehow think that making it known that they aren't happy with you is somehow enough of a notice, so that they can jump into another relationship without so much guilt.



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