Ok Please try to be objective
I was sexually assaulted at 12 and had a baby when I was 13. My family decided to send me to relatives while he stayed with my grandma. I did not have a lot of contact with him because I wasn't allowed. Now he is 6 and they want to adopt him. I have seen them with him and they love him and he loves them. Maybe because I missed those early years I don't love him but when I see him I take good care of him. but because of the rape I have a hard time being touched or showing affection and I can go for days without talking. Most people describe me as cold and unaffectionate. I am still working through these issues. Many relationships have been broken because of this.
What would you do? Is 6 too old or should I try taking care of him. If grown men find me cold is it fair to put him through this. I know I don't love him but I want to do what's best for him? I don't want him to be messed up as an adult.
I have tried faking it and people can tell that there is something wrong with us.