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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm dependant on my husband, so what

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
First let me say, although I am a sahm I have a great degree, I am completely capable of getting a job and taking over financially if god forbid something were to happen to dh. I was raised in a family where not going to college wasn't an option. I worked full time right out of school, I worked after getting married, it wasn't until dd was born that I decided to stay home.

I love being home. I dont worry about bills. My dd never has to go to daycare, I am able to teach her and I feel that's an advantage because she is already doing things most children her age can't do. My family has a home cooked meal every night. I am able to keep up on housework and to me all of these thing interest me WAY more than being a working mom.

Unfortunately I feel that people, even my own family members, feel that I am not doing something useful/ beneficial for myself. They are always asking, so when are you going back to work, or are you going to continue your education?......when? I feel like screaming, why isn't taking care of my family a good enough answer. My priority is family, and I think that's a pretty damn important job. After I am done having kids and they are old enough that they don't need me 24/7 then yes maybe I will return to work/school, but that's not for awhile and I wish everyone would just leave me alone about it.

Also, I am not an anti pa mom but for the record we are not on any assistance and we are by no means struggling.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:06 PM
Replies (21-30):
MamaMoopsie
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:37 PM

I wish I had finished college. I got an Associate of Arts and we were planning to move and transfer to a larger college, but DH got a job we just couldn't turn down. However, even with that being said, I have written and published a book (though that was several years ago and my contract with the publisher has since ended so I'm not actually making money on that book anymore). I am editing my second manuscript and looking for an agent so I can get a better book deal this time.

I love being able to stay home with my kids. Like you said, raising my kids and taking care of the home life is my priority now. I fully plan on going back to school when my kids are all in school, but it's with the understanding that my kids are still the priority. 

When DH was laid off over three years ago I went out and got a good job as a photographer and I know that if it came down to it I could always go back to that career to support my family, but right now DH is working a job that makes it possible for me to stay home and even though it's tight at the moment (DH got an arm injury and is on light duty at work and getting less hours due to having to go to physical therapy twice a week) we are still making ends meet, but we just had to rebudget and live a little more frugally.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:39 PM
Dh loves his daughter! He spends hours every night after work playing with her. My staying home has no effect on that.


Quoting mamatocaleb:

 I've done both, and personally I like that we have a little more money to do what we need to do and want to do. I like helping financially, but yes he makes a lot more than me. I am dependent on his income as he is NOW dependent on mine. We both chip in with taking care of the kids and paying bills. That is the way it SHOULD be. Daddies should be able to care for the children as well without it being called "babysitting".


EmmaGlenn20
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:41 PM

I've been struggling with this for so long, feeling useless because I'm not making any money. My husband reassures me all of the time that I'm just as valuable as hi, if not more. :)

Quoting NoahandEliza:

I'm with you. I don't need a job that I don't love just to feel important or useful. Having a career or not doesn't define who I am. My topics of conversation are not limited to floor mopping and poopie diapers, I'm still the same person with the same intelligence level as I was before I became a sahm. Thankfully, my family is supportive.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:42 PM
I wasn't really implying that all working mothers have a dirty home and microwave their kids meals. It's just something I feel I have more time to focus on.


Quoting SusieQue717:

I am a full time working mother, and my family has a home cooked breakfast and dinner every day. I also live in a spotless home. I don't see what one thing has to do with the other? If you manage your time right, they can have the same things. My kids have a nanny, so they don't go to daycare either. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:43 PM
I work, because we want extra cash.. We can survive without it but I choose to do it. I decided to do it because a family I know needed my help. I am a CNA. I only work part time 15-20 hours a week. Evenings and weekends. No sitter.

Some family members badger me constantly about why I won't work more. I think that is because they made poor choices when their child was young and now that the child has grown up and moved out and the said people are both stuck working full time jobs to get by. Its not my fault they made bad choices. I didn't make the same choices. I want to be home with my children. I am home making dinner 5 nights a week. I am home until 5pm 6 days a week. I feel like more of a sahm than I do a wohm.
Kimbunny
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:43 PM

First off....Good for you!!!!  Dont let anyone make you feel like you are not doing your part!!!! I really think that being a sahm has gotten a bad reputation for some reason...idk why.  I think if it is at all possible for one of the parents to stay at home with their child, then it should be done.  Why would you pay someone else to raise your child if you didn't have to?!

garnet83
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:50 PM

You have options. if you decided to or needed to get a job you could because you're educated, so I see no problem with your situation.

SusieQue717
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:52 PM

I have plenty of time to focus on it, from the time I walk into the house, to the time I walk out the next morning. If someone doesn't know how to manage their time and get that stuff done, believe me that if they were a SAHM, it'd be the same way, and the excuse would be that they had to take care of the kids all day... You know what I mean? 

Quoting Anonymous:

I wasn't really implying that all working mothers have a dirty home and microwave their kids meals. It's just something I feel I have more time to focus on.


Quoting SusieQue717:

I am a full time working mother, and my family has a home cooked breakfast and dinner every day. I also live in a spotless home. I don't see what one thing has to do with the other? If you manage your time right, they can have the same things. My kids have a nanny, so they don't go to daycare either. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:55 PM

My mil always try to push me to work incase something happens to my husband but what she dont know is if something did happen i will have millions.

CorpCityGrl
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:56 PM

I think the key is that you grew up in a family where NOT going to college wasn't an option.  I'm assuming then that you grew up in a family that does place value on career and goals and ambition and that may be it - they don't understand how being a SAHM can be enough for you.

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