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I'm dependant on my husband, so what

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
First let me say, although I am a sahm I have a great degree, I am completely capable of getting a job and taking over financially if god forbid something were to happen to dh. I was raised in a family where not going to college wasn't an option. I worked full time right out of school, I worked after getting married, it wasn't until dd was born that I decided to stay home.

I love being home. I dont worry about bills. My dd never has to go to daycare, I am able to teach her and I feel that's an advantage because she is already doing things most children her age can't do. My family has a home cooked meal every night. I am able to keep up on housework and to me all of these thing interest me WAY more than being a working mom.

Unfortunately I feel that people, even my own family members, feel that I am not doing something useful/ beneficial for myself. They are always asking, so when are you going back to work, or are you going to continue your education?......when? I feel like screaming, why isn't taking care of my family a good enough answer. My priority is family, and I think that's a pretty damn important job. After I am done having kids and they are old enough that they don't need me 24/7 then yes maybe I will return to work/school, but that's not for awhile and I wish everyone would just leave me alone about it.

Also, I am not an anti pa mom but for the record we are not on any assistance and we are by no means struggling.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:06 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:13 PM

You're playing it smart by having a degree. A LOT of women have no degree, no money living soley off the husbands. If their husbands decide to leave one day, they're gonna be up shit creek without a paddle. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:13 PM


You're welcome.Now,if I could only follow my own advice,maybe I'd be a happier woman! LOL!!!

Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks, that was a good little pep talk lol.


Quoting Anonymous:

I just wish people would mind their own business and worry about their own life.Unfortunately that isn't how life is.People seem to have a need to tell you what you should do and how you should live when you're perfectly happy with your life as is.Maddening,isn't it? You seem to really have it all together and you and your family are well and happy.If others have some strange compulsion to butt in and get too nosey about something that absolutely should not concern them at all,then that's their problem.Just keep on living your life,smile at them,and let their comments slide off your back like water.




Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:17 PM
Lol no no she's a baby! Guess I should have specified


Quoting Anonymous:

Oh okay, I thought when you homework, that she must he school aged and then thought maybe in their minds, a mom with children who are in school all day don't need their mom to sit at home, especially with only having one child. If she's only 7 months, then I don't get their issue.




Quoting Anonymous:

7 months






Quoting Anonymous:

Okay, may I ask how old you dd is?








Quoting Anonymous:

As of right now I am on the fence, its not time to make that decision yet but if I had to guess I would say we will have at least one more.










Quoting Anonymous:

Do you plan on only having one child?





NoahandEliza
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:50 PM
Before ds was born, dh and I both traveled for work a lot. His company did a lot of business in, of all places, Belgium, and I was based in Chicago, but spent probably 2 weeks out of the month in either NYC or LA. I took a different position once we had kids, but still worked long hours and brought work home. I knew I missed out on a lot with ds, so when dd came along, I decided I wanted to stay home. It was a big adjustment, but I feel like it's what my kids need right now. I feel like ds kind of got the short end of the stick and knowing that I'm making up for lost time makes me feel useful and like I'm doing something important for him, at least. I promise it gets easier, just think about how much of an impact it makes on your kids and dh knowing that they have your full attention whenever they need you (which is not to say anything bad about the attention wm's give their families)


Quoting EmmaGlenn20:

I've been struggling with this for so long, feeling useless because I'm not making any money. My husband reassures me all of the time that I'm just as valuable as hi, if not more. :)

Quoting NoahandEliza:

I'm with you. I don't need a job that I don't love just to feel important or useful. Having a career or not doesn't define who I am. My topics of conversation are not limited to floor mopping and poopie diapers, I'm still the same person with the same intelligence level as I was before I became a sahm. Thankfully, my family is supportive.



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EmmaGlenn20
by Canadian Sweetheart on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:52 PM

Exactly :)

Quoting NoahandEliza:

Before ds was born, dh and I both traveled for work a lot. His company did a lot of business in, of all places, Belgium, and I was based in Chicago, but spent probably 2 weeks out of the month in either NYC or LA. I took a different position once we had kids, but still worked long hours and brought work home. I knew I missed out on a lot with ds, so when dd came along, I decided I wanted to stay home. It was a big adjustment, but I feel like it's what my kids need right now. I feel like ds kind of got the short end of the stick and knowing that I'm making up for lost time makes me feel useful and like I'm doing something important for him, at least. I promise it gets easier, just think about how much of an impact it makes on your kids and dh knowing that they have your full attention whenever they need you (which is not to say anything bad about the attention wm's give their families)


Quoting EmmaGlenn20:

I've been struggling with this for so long, feeling useless because I'm not making any money. My husband reassures me all of the time that I'm just as valuable as hi, if not more. :)

Quoting NoahandEliza:

I'm with you. I don't need a job that I don't love just to feel important or useful. Having a career or not doesn't define who I am. My topics of conversation are not limited to floor mopping and poopie diapers, I'm still the same person with the same intelligence level as I was before I became a sahm. Thankfully, my family is supportive.




jbirdsladie27
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:53 PM
I agree, got to do what works for you :D

Quoting JerseyAirGurl:

Good for you... Whatever works 

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iwilliams76
by Irene on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:55 PM

I wish I could be a SAHM

NoahandEliza
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:55 PM
Lol, I will admit we talk about poop....but even dh does and he works! Dd's is so disgusting, it can't be ignored. There was a post a while back about how if you're a sahm, your dh will cheat because you aren't interesting. Blah. I have just as many fun things to talk about as dh who sits in an office, staring at a computer all day!


Quoting Anonymous:

I'll be the first to admit A LOT of my conversation do consist of the above topics lol. But it doesn't mean I'm unintelligent. Haha.




Quoting NoahandEliza:

I'm with you. I don't need a job that I don't love just to feel important or useful. Having a career or not doesn't define who I am. My topics of conversation are not limited to floor mopping and poopie diapers, I'm still the same person with the same intelligence level as I was before I became a sahm. Thankfully, my family is supportive.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:57 PM

Not everyone is a raging femnist, and thinks we need to make the same amount as our husband and work the same amount of hours and change our own tires.  I expect my husband to make more than me because I am earning a low wage by being a WAHM, and he does.  

Ultra_
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:59 PM

I'm dependant too and so what is right. I actually work too NOW, but just as a supplement when we needed it. Now we don't again and I'll be a SAHM again soon. :) I LIKE being dependant. It's what I wanted to do since I was younger. When I didn't work, I did so much work for others, it was so fulfilling. I'd rather help others without a wall of degrees than spend time and money away from my family and helping less.


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