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I need help...too much going on and I don't know where to turn or what to do.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies

Let me start with I"m a single mom to a five year old little girl.  I'm a full time nursing student with one and a half semesters to go. I work two part time jobs.  One is 14 hours a month and the other one I take my little girl with me in the evening, probably 6-9 hours a week and I work every other weekend.  I'm exhausted.  I don't have any help, unless I pay for a babysitter.  Her dad takes her for 24 hours on the weekend and asks to send her home so he can work.  He does pay child support, but is often late.  I just feel like I"m falling apart.  I've called my dr. and she prescribed me Celexa.  I plan on taking it.  I don't know what to do in the meantim e though.  I've done everything I know how to deal with this stuff, but I'm at a loss.  I'm constantly tired, but I"m not sleeping well and I'm starting to get mean and frustrated.  I don't want to be like this, but I'm at a loss of how to fix it.  I need to work to pay the bills, I need to finish school so I'm not having this issue.  I need to study in order to graduate.  I'm not a dumb person and I've had another career in the past, but this is the first time I've done this with a child and its getting the best of me.  Please send me suggestions.  I would get a therapist, but I don't have enough time in the day...

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
night.magic
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:04 PM

 Do you have any friends nearby that might could help you with errands or take your dd for a play date a few times per month maybe give yourself some down time and try to catch up on some sleep?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:07 PM

 Quoting night.magic:

 Do you have any friends nearby that might could help you with errands or take your dd for a play date a few times per month maybe give yourself some down time and try to catch up on some sleep?

 None of them live nearby.  I wish they did, because at this point I"m throwing my white flag in the air saying I surrender.  I could call my mom, but I hate to do that.  We don't have the greatest relationship and I wont allow my DD to stay the night there, which is what she would suggest.  She just moved her new bf in after knowing him for a week.  I don't feel comfortable with him staying the night with my DD.

LovelyMommy24
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:08 PM
2 moms liked this

You're going to pick yourself up and keep moving. You're going to keep your head on straight, keep studying and working. It can't be hard forever. You will be okay, everyone goes through a rough patch - that's life. In the mean time, do you know anyone near you? When spring comes around (depending on if it's warm now where you are) start going to the parks to meet some other mama's. You sound like a very rational woman who anyone would trust their child with, that being said, I'm sure you can meet some mama's to hang out with to relieve stress and trade child sitting hours with. 

Take a warm bath, find a good book, or turn up the music and jam out. Everything will be okay. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:13 PM

 Thank you.  I will for sure.  I am rational and I'm doing everything I know, but it just doesn't seem like its good enough at the moment.  I've never been this down about stuff so its very frustrating to have it happen now.  I do have friends, but I don't see them often because of my schedule.  Nursing school and working has made me a bit of a recluse, not by choice, but necessity.  Maybe I just need someone to tell me to buck up and do it.  I'm strong for myself and my DD 99% of the time, so I feel like a complete failure that I feel like I'm faultering.  I'm not really, just having a rough patch, but it would be great to sleep in and catch up on life...or have a beer;-)  Thank you for the optimism.

Quoting LovelyMommy24:

You're going to pick yourself up and keep moving. You're going to keep your head on straight, keep studying and working. It can't be hard forever. You will be okay, everyone goes through a rough patch - that's life. In the mean time, do you know anyone near you? When spring comes around (depending on if it's warm now where you are) start going to the parks to meet some other mama's. You sound like a very rational woman who anyone would trust their child with, that being said, I'm sure you can meet some mama's to hang out with to relieve stress and trade child sitting hours with. 

Take a warm bath, find a good book, or turn up the music and jam out. Everything will be okay. 

 

rgba
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:14 PM
Your world will change significantly when you are done with school. Set yourself small goals, and remind yourself that you can do it.

And see if you can scrape up enough money to pay for a sitter, even once a month, and grab a few hours to yourself.

I would also find a way to get into therapy. Check and see if your nursing program offers any, and go once a week while on campus.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:18 PM

 I've thought about talking to one of my professors.  They are psych nurses after all lol.  I just feel weak to break down in front of someone I don't know on a personal level or behind a computer screen.  I can't talk about any of it without tearing up and falling apart.  If I keep a poker face I can push through.  If I knew they could offer me some grand words of wisdom or way to get out of my funk I would, but I'm scared of putting myself out there for someone to look at me like "What do you want me to do?" ya know.  I don't trust easily.  I may do that tomorrow anyways, just go and talk with them.  Maybe they can give me some coping mechanisms...IDK.  Hopefully Celexa comes tomorrow;-)

Quoting rgba:

Your world will change significantly when you are done with school. Set yourself small goals, and remind yourself that you can do it.

And see if you can scrape up enough money to pay for a sitter, even once a month, and grab a few hours to yourself.

I would also find a way to get into therapy. Check and see if your nursing program offers any, and go once a week while on campus.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:18 PM
When I get frustrated I like to write out my life plan and my goals. It keeps me on track and reassures me that all the hard work I am doing will pay off. Keep your head up mama. You are doing the right thing,even if it feels super hard right now. Just think of the awesome example you are setting for your daughter. :)
iluvsn85
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:26 PM
Keep your head held high. You are doing something amazing for you and your daughter. Soon you will be able to say you are done with school and you will never have to go back. Good luck!
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LovelyMommy24
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:30 PM

You're welcome. It sounds like you're doing a great job already and I know you can keep it up! 

Go buy a six pack, it's Friday tomorrow - Have a beer in the evening. ;)

Quoting Anonymous:

 Thank you.  I will for sure.  I am rational and I'm doing everything I know, but it just doesn't seem like its good enough at the moment.  I've never been this down about stuff so its very frustrating to have it happen now.  I do have friends, but I don't see them often because of my schedule.  Nursing school and working has made me a bit of a recluse, not by choice, but necessity.  Maybe I just need someone to tell me to buck up and do it.  I'm strong for myself and my DD 99% of the time, so I feel like a complete failure that I feel like I'm faultering.  I'm not really, just having a rough patch, but it would be great to sleep in and catch up on life...or have a beer;-)  Thank you for the optimism.

Quoting LovelyMommy24:

You're going to pick yourself up and keep moving. You're going to keep your head on straight, keep studying and working. It can't be hard forever. You will be okay, everyone goes through a rough patch - that's life. In the mean time, do you know anyone near you? When spring comes around (depending on if it's warm now where you are) start going to the parks to meet some other mama's. You sound like a very rational woman who anyone would trust their child with, that being said, I'm sure you can meet some mama's to hang out with to relieve stress and trade child sitting hours with. 

Take a warm bath, find a good book, or turn up the music and jam out. Everything will be okay. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:55 PM

ur ex obviously needs to have more custody

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