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Explain redirection to me

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies
This is in response to the biting post where to op was babysitting a 3yo, the 3yo bit her baby so she sent the 3yo to sit on the couch until her mother got home.

Some (moronic, IMO) poster said that making a 3yo sit on a couch is child abuse and if it had been her she would have instead used "redirection".

And Ive seen this a lot in posts about spanking..."Oh, I don't spank or yell or do time outs...I redirect".

So what it seems like to me is that if your kid is misbehaving, you...give him a toy? How exactly does it work. Because it seems to me that rewarding bad behavior like that sends a message to the child that, "Hey! When I'm bad, mom gives me special attention and gives me a fun toy!"

Personally, not the message I want to send to my kids but maybe I've misunderstood the whole thing. Or maybe some moms are just doing it wrong?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
haunted.mommy
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:14 PM
1 mom liked this

Redirecting is where you don't discipline your child cause it is mean.

You tell them no don't do that and go do something else.

Sorry I spank and do time outs.

Sparklee.com - http://www.sparklee.com



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:14 PM

A 3 yr old you sit in time out. Not for a long time. Think 30 seconds and then you face to face talk to them. Redirecting isn't giving them a toy, necessarily, it is just placing their focus on something else. You can give them a job to do.

haunted.mommy
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:16 PM


In other words ignore the bad behavior and have them do something else.

Quoting Anonymous:

A 3 yr old you sit in time out. Not for a long time. Think 30 seconds and then you face to face talk to them. Redirecting isn't giving them a toy, necessarily, it is just placing their focus on something else. You can give them a job to do.



Sparklee.com - http://www.sparklee.com



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:18 PM

I don't think you always have to ignore it. Some things, like biting, you don't ignore. You may not make a huge deal of it, but you tell them "we don't bite" or even better "We hug our friends." Then you move on to something else.

lilfishbigocean
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:18 PM

 Redirection is basically having them focus on something else.
No mom is "doing it wrong". I have to use redirection, because my child is autistic. She doesn't understand much, and redirection is the only thing that works.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:20 PM
Quoting haunted.mommy:

Redirecting is where you don't discipline your child cause it is mean.

You tell them no don't do that and go do something else.

Sorry I spank and do time outs.




Oh you're allowed to tell them not to do that? But what if it hurts their feelings?

*/sarcasm*
SterlingHeart
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:21 PM

re-directing attention is the same as neglecting the process of learning right from wrong!  Period!!!!!!!!!!!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:26 PM

30 seconds for a 3 year old?! lol yea right. i always gave 5 minutes or more, depending on the offense.

redirecting IMO, is just putting the attention on something else, when they are younger. a 1 year old doesnt truly KNOW that biting is bad... they are still in the learning phases of life. you say, 'no we don't bite people with our teeth' then you move onto something else- whether thats them playing alone or whatever (i wouldnt want to play with a biter either! lol).... same as an older child. if they overheard someone say the word 'motherfucker'-- and they repeated it. the first time WONT really be punishment... just a notice that this is a bad word, we dont say it. any other time, it'll be punishment IMO at least. they need to have that first 'offense' before giving out punishment. even adults- if you arent told whats right or wrong, you wont know.

Quoting Anonymous:

A 3 yr old you sit in time out. Not for a long time. Think 30 seconds and then you face to face talk to them. Redirecting isn't giving them a toy, necessarily, it is just placing their focus on something else. You can give them a job to do.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:28 PM

Well, we all parent differently. I have taken classes on parenting in a postive way and love and logic. It works if you use it correctly.

My4Kidds
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:29 PM

redirection is useful and serves its purpose and is usually what i'd recommend, BUT for biting, a child needs at LEAST a time out. (and this is coming from a childcare provider of 11 years.)

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