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why spanking is wrong ...and why these alternatives are better!

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:38 PM
  • 203 Replies
6 moms liked this

I keep seeing women saying that either you spank and its ok and good...or you do not discipline at all...which is completely inaccurate. There are many many better alternatives. Here are two links that show why spanking is bad and what you can do BETTER

better alternatives-

http://www.positive-parents.org/2012/04/alternatives-to-spanking.html

http://www.niu.edu/ccc/resources/Spanking.pdf

What is spanking? It is a form of corporal punishment. It includes whoopin', slapping, grabbing,popping, smacking... handling your child roughly in any way is a form of corporal punishment. FYI... If youhit your child with any object (belt, brush, fly swatter, wooden spoon) it falls under the U.S. definition ofabuse. Corporal punishment is... the use of physical force with the intention to cause a child toexperience pain, but not injury, for the purpose of correction or the control of the child's behavior.

Which leads me to an interesting fact; in the U.S. we are not allowed to perform corporal punishment onany inmate in our correctional system. It is illegal to do so. BUT, corporal punishment against a child isoverlooked time after time. It is socially sanctioned.

1. Spanking has limited control. Two out of the five studies that were presented showeddecreased compliance. The studies actually supported the fact that children who were guided byparents and caregivers who used firm verbal directives and discipline had a higher level ofcompliance. Children who are spanked were found to have a lower moral internalization. Thatmeans when parents are away those children are far less likely to make good choices and dowhat they are supposed to do. Also, most cases of abuse began with socially sanctioneddiscipline. It's difficult to show our children how to maintain control over their choices when weare using a form of discipline that leads adults to lose complete control.

2. Children who are spanked are more aggressive. Another result of one of the studies presentedat this workshop stated that children who were hit at 3 years of age were 50% more aggressiveat age 5. Other findings were as follows: a) delinquent behaviors increased; b) there weremedium amounts of damage that occurred to the parent/child relationship; c) there was aworsened state of children's mental health; d) there was an increase in physical abuse towardschildren; e) increase in adult aggression; f) increase in adult criminal behavior; g) small increasedrisk of abuse towards their own spouse and/or children.

3. Children who are spanked have lower I.Q.'s. Children who were re‐directed by using otherforms of guidance or discipline were shown to have an IQ score of 5 points higher than childrenwho were spanked. Why? Corporal punishment or the constant threat of violence is stressful!When individuals are under that amount of stress has a negative effect on brain development.

During the act of spanking a child, zero learning can occur.

4. What does spanking teach your child? Number 1... spanking teaches children that violence isok. It says that when others aren't doing what you want them to do hitting them is the solution.When you spank you are teaching your child to be anxious and aggressive. Spanking displays tochildren that they are not worthy to live with the freedom from violence and aggression likeadults are. It was only approximately 50 years ago that beating your wife was socially sanctionedand expected. Now, we as women can fully expect that freedom. It was "during the 1960s, thewomen's liberation movement began drawing attention to violence committed against women,and the battered women's movement began to form."

http://www.answers.com/topic/domestic‐violence)

5. I was spanked and I turned out O.K. You are probably right but stop and think...

You would have turned out fine even if you weren't spanked. (And your childhood

would have been a lot less painful.)

Not all kids who were spanked turned out bad - but why take a chance? Do your best as

a parent to ensure your child will have the best future you can offer.

Back then we didn't know any better... NOW WE DO!

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
svolkov
by Emerald Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:40 PM

bump

svolkov
by Emerald Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:41 PM

too long??? lol

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:42 PM
16 moms liked this
That is complete bullshit IMO.
svolkov
by Emerald Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:42 PM

no thoughts? bump!!

svolkov
by Emerald Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:42 PM

 

is this based on anything or just your personal opinion...because all those studies and phds over 62 yrs of research are saying the opposite

Quoting Anonymous:

That is complete bullshit IMO.


 

kirita323
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:44 PM
9 moms liked this

Correlation does not equal causation.

mmmonkey
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:45 PM
5 moms liked this
Completely agree with this. I will never spank my children. I was spanked as a kid and nothing ever came out of it other than me feeling humiliated and wanting to retaliate. I do not believe in physical violence of any kind towards my children.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:46 PM
1 mom liked this
My personal opinion, hence why I placed the "IMO" at the end of my statement. Also, I do not live my life or base my decisions off of what some study says. I am sure I could find plenty of studies that would contradict the ones you're speaking of. It's a controversial issue and always will be no matter which side you're on.


Quoting svolkov:

 


is this based on anything or just your personal opinion...because all those studies and phds over 62 yrs of research are saying the opposite


Quoting Anonymous:

That is complete bullshit IMO.



 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:47 PM
Yep!

Quoting Anonymous:

That is complete bullshit IMO.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:47 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't spank my kids, either. It drives me crazy when people say what's wrong with today's children is that they aren't spanked, so they aren't disciplined. My children are disciplined and I have never spanked.

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