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Choose ur kid or ours!!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies

I know im probably only feeling this way because of my hormone and because of the stress but it seem like my husband only cares about his dd not ours. But now that our dd is sick he seems to actually care. I know our dd is only an infant and right now only wants me so hes kind if SOL for awhile and his dd and him r very close and she is 4 so he can actually do stuff with her. but idk how to knock this feeling out I know its really just jealousy but i dont wanna feel this way can anyone help?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:21 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:34 PM

BUMP!

Awakened1
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:37 PM
He is probably used to the interaction he was with his oldest. That doesn't mean he doesn't love your baby. He already has a bond with oldest dd and his relationship with the new baby will come in time. No need to be jealous about that.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:38 PM

Why should he have to choose? It should be both.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:39 PM


It was a catchy title i dont want him to choose one or the other im just jealous in a way from hormones but i love both girls so idk y i feel like this and i want it to stop!!!

Quoting Anonymous:

Why should he have to choose? It should be both.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:43 PM

hugs

Quoting Anonymous:


It was a catchy title i dont want him to choose one or the other im just jealous in a way from hormones but i love both girls so idk y i feel like this and i want it to stop!!!

Quoting Anonymous:

Why should he have to choose? It should be both.




seemommyrun
by Sue daNim on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:45 PM

You're recognizing that it's most likely hormonal, and that it's inappropriate. You can't help feeling a little territorial and protective of your new baby, but good for you for not giving in completely to jealousy. I think you're going to be fine :)

mamanay041010
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:46 PM

It might just be your worries or fears they won't ever be close, if your little one is an infant and can't really do much now you worn see the exchange like with someone who's four and an adult. I. Sure your husband loves both his daughters and he will spend just as much time with them both, you have to also think about how drastically a new sibling must be for a four year old! She went from being the main focus between you two and possibly her parents to there being a new interesting baby everyone wants to hold and pay attention to, daddy might just want her to know she still matters and hasn't been forgotten. In no time your complaint will be how they do everything and exclude you ;) especially the girls. I'm sure other moms who have been in this situation at some point had a small worry/anxiety about dynamics changing 

other_mother
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:02 PM

Take it easy. It will work out and everything will fall into a routine. If things are the same way they were when our daughter was born, then he is just as worried about building a good relationship with the baby as you are for him to do so. DH was always so hands on with his son. He was the one who got up with him in the night. He was the one who bathed him. He was the one who fed him. He was the one who did most of the hands on care.

When our daughter was born, it was an adjustment for us all. Not only did we have a new baby and were concerned that DSS would feel like he was being replace, we also had a new baby who screamed NONSTOP. All day. Every day. She only wanted me. It was a change for DH-- not only because I was breast feeding but also because he had a child who wanted nothing whatsoever to do with him because he didn't have boobs.

When she was 6 weeks old and we had established a good breastfeeding routine, I started pumping for DH to give her a bottle every morning and every evening. I would take that time and spend it with DSS.

There is some adjustment involved, but it will be ok.

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