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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm so done with this cancer crap *Update with his horrible diagnoses...

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:34 PM
  • 28 Replies

I posted on here a while ago that my father in law MAY have cancer. He hadn't been to a doctor to confirm it, and he finally went today. DH called to see how it went (we live 1,200 miles away) and he wouldn't tell him shit.

DH: how did the appointment go?

DHD: it went okay.

DH: what did the doctors say?

DHD: nothing

DH: is it cancer?

DHD: maybe

DH: maybe yes?

DHD: they ruled out tumor, cyst and blood clot.

DH: so is it cancer?

DHD: dont know. they found something but i aint telling anybody but mom

DH: okay ill call mom

DHD: phones disconnected. and hangs up.


thats it. he called his moms friend and she went to his moms house so he could talk and his mom said "everythings fine" and hung up on him and then wouldn't answer.

it fucking pisses me off that they are in there 40s and 50s and jerking there kids around like this. 

if you arent going to tell them whats wrong, dont tell them shit. dont mention it to them at all. you dont call and get my whole damn family upset and then promise you'll call and give us all the details and then not tell us shit. yes i know it could be hard for them to accept but its no easier for my DH to not know if his dads okay or not, and if somethings wrong he wants to go back and visit his dad and we won't know shit because his dad wants to create drama.

this isn't unusual for him. he'll keep doing this til he gets enough of his drama, and then they'll give in and tell. maybe i'm being selfish, but i hate seeing DH stress out and be so scared. his dad is his world even tho he won't admit it. He looks up to his dad more than anybody else.

i've posted the photo of his "cancer" and everyone says its not cancer, or that they've never saw cancer like that. i think its a lousy skin infection like the original doctor said.

vent over. tell me how horrible and selfish i am.


After all that drama, and getting my husband all worked up. He finally gave in and told his his diagnoses.

A vein in his leg is swollen.

Hes not going to die, he doesn't have cancer, no surgery, not going to lose a leg.

He has to take 1 tylenol ifit hurts and 1 pill twice a day to reduce swelling.


Yep. Thats it.

Kinda pissed off, but relieved at the same time.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:42 PM

I don't know, but it seems to dramatic to be true, so I'm kinda leaning towards false/not so serious also

ArisMom208
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:44 PM


Quoting bustybee:

I don't know, but it seems to dramatic to be true, so I'm kinda leaning towards false/not so serious also

I've only saw a photo of it, never saw it in person.

Really don't care anymore either.

I just don't see why you would drag your kids along with it. 

faeriemom1972
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:48 PM

My mother did have cancer, and she was like this. She would only tell me half of the information and then say "I don't want you to worry about it" WTF?!?! I'm her only child and her closest relative. What did she expect me to do with that kind of passive aggressive bullshit? I now understand that cancer changes you, but it was a very frustrating and sad time. 

lovexroads88
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:49 PM
Idk, my exdh's dad faught and beat cancer, but started having trouble again. He went to all his doc appointments, but didn't tell exdh what was going on. I think his was more because he has already decided not to fight it again, and doesn't want everyone to treat him different and be worried about him again. I think his case is alittle different than what your family is being put through, and I would be upset in your shoes. Sorry your fil & mil are being like that.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:49 PM

I am in a similar situation. Went to the doctor today, but have to wait 3 to 5 days for the results. So I am not in a chatty mood.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:51 PM
The color of your font hurts me too bad to read the whole story. Sorry. Best wishes on the cancer thing.
ArisMom208
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:52 PM


Quoting faeriemom1972:

My mother did have cancer, and she was like this. She would only tell me half of the information and then say "I don't want you to worry about it" WTF?!?! I'm her only child and her closest relative. What did she expect me to do with that kind of passive aggressive bullshit? I now understand that cancer changes you, but it was a very frustrating and sad time. 

I can understand that if it is cancer, its hard to handle for them but its not easy for us either.


ArisMom208
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:53 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

The color of your font hurts me too bad to read the whole story. Sorry. Best wishes on the cancer thing.

Lol i'm sorry i changed it.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:56 PM
I lost my father in September to cancer. He wouldnt share what was gking on with anyone. I think for him it was his way of denying how serious it was. He wanted life to go on as if nothing was happening. A lot of extended family didn't even know he was sick until after he passed. He wanted it that way and we all respected his privacy.

Cancer is an ugly bitch. I would be scared shitless if it were staring me in the face.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:56 PM
i have a brain tumor and im kinda like that. i dont want to give out all the details because they are private and unpleasant. my mother hounds me horribly and even tried to bully her way to my appointment with my nuerosurgeon. no im not having it removed right now, theres no immediate danger, it just needs to be monitored, i told them that and it wasnt enough.

however, i understand your dh deserves to at least know the basics. thats only fair.

ive given my family the basics and they didnt wanna back off so i eventually told them i was already taking medication to shrink the tumor and it was going well. which is all a comlete lie, but they are off my back at least.
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