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I am nervous to tell Dh. *updated*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Dh and I have been married for 7 years. 11 year ago I was a single mom with a 6 month old baby. I was a waitress and this guy kept coming in and asking for me to wait on him. He would leave huge tips--he saw my daughter's pic in my book and asked about her. I told him and he left a $100 tip and said he wanted me to buy my daughter something. He came in one day and we were talking, he said he had overheard me talking with another employee about my car. He left a $600 tip because I desperately needed new tires. For my birthday, he gave me a gift cert for a massage and a gift cert for dinner and a show, as well as a Tiffany's bracelet AND $1,000 as birthday money.

As time went on I got to know him better. He was a sweet man with no family or friends. He was the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. He became my sugar daddy. We never had sex or did anything sexual. We have remained friends. I feel like it's time to tell Dh about the money. He knew we were friends but thought the money and gifts came from family. I have no father, and this man was like a father to me. He paid for Disney world for Dh and I and our 4 kids. He gave me $50k to put down on our house. He also gave me $35k for mine and dh's anniversary to buy Dh the car he wanted. I told Dh I won the trip to Disney, and won the car. I was scared to tell him another man was financing our lifestyle.

This man has now gone into a nursing home. I am the only heir to his money and assets. He is very ill. Dh is not jealous of him, but I worry when he finds out this man is leaving me $11.7m. I know he will love the money, but I know I should have been honest.

This man has no one but me. I have never asked him for a dime, but he has always volunteered to give me anything I wanted. Once he saw something I liked on Facebook and a week later, the new sofa was at my door lol.

I know I was wrong to lie to Dh. I mostly thought having a sugar daddy made me weak and I thought Dh would think so too.

I'm going to tell him tomorrow.

Update: I talked to Dh last night. As I expected he was very upset about this. No amount of money is worth the lies. No, we aren't divorcing and we aren't separating. He was initially angry because I lied so much and lied to cover up lies. Then he was frustrated and disappointed in not only me, but himself for being naive and not questioning everything. We will be taking the money as previously arranged, but Dh is still upset. He wishes I had just been honest. He said he really feels like crap because I was too afraid to tell him the truth since he's so judgmental. I am not blaming him for my lies at all, but if he had been more accepting of others and situations I wouldn't have lied. It's still my fault and I know that.

He still loves me but will have to work to regain trust. We love each other and something like this isn't going to destroy us. Btw I talked to my friend who has asked me to just call him uncle as my children do. It feels awesome to finally have validity for our 'family', I guess. He is in the assisted living facility but is not doing well at all. We hope he will live a few more years, but he's said himself that his work on earth is done. I understand but he is still so much a part of my life. I do love him dearly. My husband understands this and loves him, too.

Thanks for the support ladies.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:17 PM
Replies (21-30):
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:28 PM

 this sounds very unlikely

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:28 PM
He is incredibly unstable now. He can't be left alone, at all. He is going to a very high quality nursing home that will provide him with 24/7 care.

I see him a few times a week, at least. He has a guest suite in our home for when he wants to come visit, but I can't really take care of him anymore.

Quoting Anonymous:

i was a waitress for year and thought my old guy regular leaving me 20 bucks was good lol. do you go see him a lot? if he has so much money why not have home care jw?

by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:28 PM
1 mom liked this

This :) I'd be more than happy with $100k :) jk I do hope you do pay it forward some for someone though, as he did for you.

Quoting stephiebugg:

 If you don't want to tell him and feel bad about taking the money, I can PM you my address.


by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:28 PM

It's an unusual arrangement but if it makes you feel better to tell DH then tell him.

Quoting Anonymous:

He had no kids and I had no father. He was like my father. He came to the hospital when we had our kids and brought lavish gifts. Dh knows about those.

I know I should have told him. I am so guilt ridden.

Quoting LaughingCheetah:

Good luck with that. Sounds like a great person....and although you two were just friends....more like should have told your DH.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:29 PM
I think he might. I don't know, or just that I was weak and depended on a man. Either way, I lied to him and he hates liars.

Quoting Anonymous:

Are you afraid that he's going to look at you like a prostitute? I'm not even trying to be mean, I just mentally pictured how my husband would react. He would be freaking pissed and disgusted, assuming sex acts had gone on (I know you said that didn't happen).

by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:29 PM
Omg!!! Why didnt this happen to me?!
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by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:29 PM

11.7 million? I think he will forgive you :)

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:29 PM
I think I would know if I had.

Quoting babyboy117:

You sure you didn't have sex with him?

by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:30 PM
Are you sure this man isnt your father?it seems odd...js
by Buzz Lightyear on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:31 PM

I want a sugar daddy. I need a nice break like that :)

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