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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I am nervous to tell Dh. *updated*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Dh and I have been married for 7 years. 11 year ago I was a single mom with a 6 month old baby. I was a waitress and this guy kept coming in and asking for me to wait on him. He would leave huge tips--he saw my daughter's pic in my book and asked about her. I told him and he left a $100 tip and said he wanted me to buy my daughter something. He came in one day and we were talking, he said he had overheard me talking with another employee about my car. He left a $600 tip because I desperately needed new tires. For my birthday, he gave me a gift cert for a massage and a gift cert for dinner and a show, as well as a Tiffany's bracelet AND $1,000 as birthday money.





As time went on I got to know him better. He was a sweet man with no family or friends. He was the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. He became my sugar daddy. We never had sex or did anything sexual. We have remained friends. I feel like it's time to tell Dh about the money. He knew we were friends but thought the money and gifts came from family. I have no father, and this man was like a father to me. He paid for Disney world for Dh and I and our 4 kids. He gave me $50k to put down on our house. He also gave me $35k for mine and dh's anniversary to buy Dh the car he wanted. I told Dh I won the trip to Disney, and won the car. I was scared to tell him another man was financing our lifestyle.





This man has now gone into a nursing home. I am the only heir to his money and assets. He is very ill. Dh is not jealous of him, but I worry when he finds out this man is leaving me $11.7m. I know he will love the money, but I know I should have been honest.





This man has no one but me. I have never asked him for a dime, but he has always volunteered to give me anything I wanted. Once he saw something I liked on Facebook and a week later, the new sofa was at my door lol.





I know I was wrong to lie to Dh. I mostly thought having a sugar daddy made me weak and I thought Dh would think so too.





I'm going to tell him tomorrow.

Update: I talked to Dh last night. As I expected he was very upset about this. No amount of money is worth the lies. No, we aren't divorcing and we aren't separating. He was initially angry because I lied so much and lied to cover up lies. Then he was frustrated and disappointed in not only me, but himself for being naive and not questioning everything. We will be taking the money as previously arranged, but Dh is still upset. He wishes I had just been honest. He said he really feels like crap because I was too afraid to tell him the truth since he's so judgmental. I am not blaming him for my lies at all, but if he had been more accepting of others and situations I wouldn't have lied. It's still my fault and I know that.

He still loves me but will have to work to regain trust. We love each other and something like this isn't going to destroy us. Btw I talked to my friend who has asked me to just call him uncle as my children do. It feels awesome to finally have validity for our 'family', I guess. He is in the assisted living facility but is not doing well at all. We hope he will live a few more years, but he's said himself that his work on earth is done. I understand but he is still so much a part of my life. I do love him dearly. My husband understands this and loves him, too.

Thanks for the support ladies.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:17 PM
Replies (371-380):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 75 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:08 PM
For $11.7 million, my hubby would forgive me even if I DID screw the guy!!! LOL!!
bluerose26
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:10 PM
Any updates have you told him?
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badylugs80
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:14 PM
Will you pass my name along to him...I need a sugar daddy too!!
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HeathersForever
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:00 AM
1 mom liked this
I read my DH this post and he laughed and said he would not be mad at me at all when he realized we would have 11 mil, he would be very happy and say fuck it! Lol

Quoting sweetmomma326:


I'm going to take a wild shot here, and guess she is going to come back and say that her husband left her because of the deceit, and she is moving to some lavish place far far away.


Quoting HeathersForever:

I'm waiting for the update...




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HeathersForever
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:02 AM
1 mom liked this
My DH said the money would make him feel a hell of a lot better, but that is my DH...he is also very forgiving.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm telling him tonight.




Quoting HeathersForever:

I'm waiting for the update...

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aeroslove
by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:05 AM

If this happened to me DH would never gotten mad. And look, the man is ill and old. If your husband is going to LOVE the money more then HE HAS PROBLEMS

Anonymous
by Anonymous 67 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:53 PM

Well, what's the verdict?  You gonna have to give him half as part of the divorce settlement or ya'll gonna share it amicably?

Mysty_1961
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 7:04 PM

 The way I read your reply it led me to believe you were receiving some kind of business income.  However, as I stated tax laws are complex and it is very hard to discuss individual situations without all of the facts.  If OP received gifts from this man, or probably some kind of trust he has set up the tax would be paid by the donor.  This is clearly stated in the Wikipedia link you sent:

        When a taxable gift in the form of cash, stocks, real estate, or other tangible or intangible property is made the tax is usually imposed on the donor (the giver) unless there is a retention of an interest which delays completion of the gift

 Likewise the IRS on their site states

Who pays the gift tax?
The donor is generally responsible for paying the gift tax. Under special arrangements the donee may agree to pay the tax instead. Please visit with your tax professional if you are considering this type of arrangement

The OP has stated she has met with the donor and a lawyer to discuss his estate, or at least this portion of it.  This leads me to believe it has and is being handled properly.  If not the IRS would be all over it and any ethical lawyer would not be involved, but there is nothing to indicate they are dodging tax laws. 

Quoting jamamama00:

 This. It seems the amount has risen to 13,000 now. And the tax for overages is pretty hefty, from what I've dealt with. The IRS would be right on top of that shit. She's a TROOOOOLLLL!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gift_tax_in_the_United_States

Quoting Mysty_1961:

You are receiving a dividend or a distribution of profits from a business;, this it goes on your tax return. OP received a gift them amount of which  most be reported on the givers tax return if it exceeds the maximum amount allowed, which it obviously did.  When this man dies there will be a new entity created unless, which he has probably done, he has set up to receive his assets upon his death.  This entity is the responsible for taxes until all of the assets have been distributed.  Tax laws are complicated and take many different twists and returns it is hard to compare two different situations.

Quoting jamamama00:

 

No, that is not true at all. I receive oil money from my family...we have a full time accountant overseeing everything. It used to be ten thousand a year now I think its twelve five....has to be reported by person receiving.

Quoting Mysty_1961:

The person who gives the gift is the one who is required to report and pay any tax involved, the person who receives the gift has no reporting requirement.  This could all change after the man dies as there could be considerable tax liabilities.  However, I suspect he has done everything possible to save as  much of his estate as possible.  This may not be his total estate, just a portion of it, and may not be totally cash.  It could include investments and other things.  Good luck OP I bet DH has some idea this man has been helping you.

Quoting Anonymous:

Doesn't mean I reported them.


Quoting jamamama00:

Quoting dizzy77702:

Op, you still didn't answer me, by your own admission taking money and gifts from this man made you feel cheap and ashamed so why the fuck did you do it? Sounds like you kind of sold your soul to the devil and lack morals like normal human beings have.



She's a troll. Gifts over 12,500 yr or from anywhere other than relatives must be declared. I guess now shell say her dh has no access to their taxes and isn't on the deed to home...lol


 

 


 

 

 

Mysty_1961
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 7:13 PM

 OP, I read in a financial paper yesterday that a gentleman who could be your benefactor passed away.  I immediately thought of you and wondered if that is the reason you have not been back.  If so I am sorry to hear the news, wish you the best, and hope everything works out well for you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:38 PM
Thank you. He did not pass but Dh and I talked last night until the wee hours and then slept in today before heading to the assisted living facility to see him. I updated in my op.

Thank you for your kind words :).


Quoting Mysty_1961:

 OP, I read in a financial paper yesterday that a gentleman who could be your benefactor passed away.  I immediately thought of you and wondered if that is the reason you have not been back.  If so I am sorry to hear the news, wish you the best, and hope everything works out well for you.


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