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My close friend and I have children similar in age. She has a 5 year old son and I have a 4 (almost 5) year old daughter. They have been friends since forever. They hang out, go places together, whatever. I love the bond that they have. Recently however, my friend told me that her son was "touched" (i don't know the specifics so we will leave it at that) by a boy he goes to school with. Her son was showing major signs of aggression and when she took him to a therapist the truth came out. He is still in therapy. My friend was devasted and I as well as others have been as supportive as we know how to be in a situation like this. My problem is that I am afraid to let my daughter over to play. They still go to the park, see movies etc but when it comes time to let them play outside of moms watchful eye, I get nervous. I'm afraid until he works through this with his therapist, something might happen between her son and my daughter, be it out of curriosity or whatever. So I've been making excuses, and I feel awful for it. I don't want to hurt my friend and make this whole thing even harder on her, but at the same time I am trying to protect my daughter. What should I do? Should I tell her? How would I even go about that? Should I keep holding off until her son makes some progress with his therapy? How do I get rid of this fear? What would you do?
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by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:27 AM
Replies (81-82):
by Anonymous 12 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:28 PM

 2 out of 3 of my brothers were molested by their baby sitters husband. One was 3 and the other was 5. They started having outbursts and drawing weird things and the youngest had nightmares all the time. He kept saying "the bad man" and they didnt want to go over there. We ignored it because we thought they were just being kids. Well, his oldest son finally stepped forward and said something to a teacher at school. The house was searched and there were photos found. My brothers were put into therapy for YEARS.
As far as I remember(cause this was 13 years ago now) they never had an "encounter" with another child out of curiosity. While it can and does happen, I dont think you need to be too worried. You said they've been friends for a long time. Who knows when the boy was "touched" for the first time. If it hasnt happened yet, it probably wont.
I would, however, discuss the issue with your friend. Explain your concerns, but make sure she doesnt feel attacked or judged. If that happens she could pull away from you and that would suck!

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:30 PM

maybe sit down and explain to yoru friend what you are feeling. also explain to her that you want to help her boy cope with what happened to him, bΒΏut that you are really worried about yor daughter..

hopefully she wont take it the wrong way :)

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