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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

huggers, arm patters and cheek kissers.

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Sort of a spinoff from the closetalker thread.

Does it bother you if someone touches you without invitation? Say a hug, cheek kiss or a pat on the arm or leg while talking?

How do you handle it? Do you think it odd if someone doesn't like to be touched?

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:00 AM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:26 AM
I don't mind it, it never bothers me, in fact I like it when people communicate that way to me.

But I don't think it's odd if others don't like it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:27 AM
1 mom liked this
They do. Therapy has helped. Dh started going with me when we first started dating. I've learned to like his touch. I spent two years working with the therapist before ttc. Holding my baby was still hard. Now, I can handle people I love, but not anyone who isn't close to me. Family reunions are hell

Quoting 428:


on this site?? Lol, I wasnt sure if you were being a bitchy smartass or you had the phobias, those would suck :(


Quoting Anonymous:

I do. Why else would posting them make sense?



Quoting 428:

probably.  Do you have those phobias?




Quoting Anonymous:

Mysophobia, fear of germs.


Chiraptophobia, fear of human contact.


Need I say more?








428
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:27 AM

Not sure, but I do believe talking involves words not touch.  My body is mine and I don't like people touching me without my consent.  There are very few exceptions to this.  My son can touch me obviously and a cousin, because she just will anyways and Ive given up.  Even my sister and I dont hug.  Her inlaws tease us and think its weird.  We're twins and we dont hug or touch eachother.  

Even if I am handing over money or whatever, I turn my hand so there is no skin contact

Quoting Anonymous:

Im just curious..... is there an underlying issue behind that?


Quoting 428:

I can understand, my sis tells me I get weird when someone touches me.  And Ive seen an entire room suddenly go quiet after someone touches me and I bluntly say "Dont touch me.  Ever."


Quoting Anonymous:

Yes! I cannot stand being touched by most people. Including family. If you come too close, I'll move away from you. Keep coming and my hand comes up, signaling you to back off. Don't take the hint, and hand becomes a fist. Keep coming and I'll punch you.



Yes, I know it'd be polite to use words, but its not possible for me. Its an issue. I've been in therapy for years. Everyone who knows me is aware, and there are still people who try it.







mattiehatter
by Mary on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:29 AM

I'm usually walking behind them because the kitchen I work in the gate is right next to the pop fountain. People aren't always paying attention when I say "don't back up" so I touch their shoulder to avoid them suddenly backing up into me and spilling their pop.


Quoting Anonymous:

Why do u do that? Lol


Quoting mattiehatter:

I'm guilty of touching someone to let them know I'm walking behind them at work. Nothing that a lot of people give a second thought to (just a shoulder touch).




Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:38 AM
Oh, ok. That makes sense, lol.

I just pictured you in a hurry and touching their shoulder to tell them nicely to get out of your way, lmao.


Quoting mattiehatter:

I'm usually walking behind them because the kitchen I work in the gate is right next to the pop fountain. People aren't always paying attention when I say "don't back up" so I touch their shoulder to avoid them suddenly backing up into me and spilling their pop.



Quoting Anonymous:

Why do u do that? Lol





Quoting mattiehatter:

I'm guilty of touching someone to let them know I'm walking behind them at work. Nothing that a lot of people give a second thought to (just a shoulder touch).







mattiehatter
by Mary on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:44 AM

Well I am usually in a hurry lol, but I still don't want accidents. I talk to roughly 80% of my customers on a regular basis (small town) while I'm at work and most of them know it's normal for me to do it.


Quoting Anonymous:

Oh, ok. That makes sense, lol.

I just pictured you in a hurry and touching their shoulder to tell them nicely to get out of your way, lmao.



AngryBob
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:46 AM
1 mom liked this
*licks face*


Quoting sweetieiv:

I am ok with people touching me. I'm pregnant and my belly seems to scream "touch me, touch me now!" Lol but sometimes I get creeped out when the person out of the blue hugs or kisses me. I'm like umm ok awkward.

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kikibix
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:50 AM

I think I'm pretty good at reading peoples body language.  I'm not super touchy feely in general but will sometimes purposefully reach out to touch someones arm or their back, I will give out hugs when it seems appropriate. Kisses are rare and mostly only for close family.

SnortysMom
by CatMarie on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:51 AM

I don't mind it at all. My family are big "huggers". My husbands family is not. I kinda laugh because my FIL gets all awkward when it comes to hugging and such. Even after being in the family for 11 years my FIL gives me a handshake instead of a hug. LOL

AngryBob
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:51 AM
I'm a swinging pendulum when it comes to this. I'm extremely hands on. I have to touch people in order to communicate. I don't speak very well, or very quickly. I actually took theatre classes when I was younger, and it helped with soo many issues I had, especially being shy and introverted. But I still communicate best through touch. I can't just say, get out of the way. But a gentle hand on the back and a slight push does the job.
That being said, if i dont know you, I won't touch you. And I hate being touched by strangers. The worst thing is being touched by someone I don't like. My mil was always trying to hug me. Once she did something really devious with my stepson, and when I showed up to pick him up, furious, she came out and tried to grab me in a hug. I held her arms apart and told her no, then got in the car. She called dh and his ex both, cussing and screaming and telling them I shoved her in front of ss. After she died, her best friend took up her role as motherly figure, and is always trying to touch me, too. I just stiffen up when she hugs me, I don't know what else to do besides deck her lol
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