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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

It only hurts a little.

Posted by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:00 AM
  • 18 Replies


        Like a paper cut my DF small actions hurt me kind of deep. I know that we have stayed at this hospital since the 21st and it is getting to us. And I know he wants to be home with our son and not have to worry about all this shit we have been dealing with. I just wish he would not let things get to him so much, I know I am not perfect, but who is? 

       So normally I always get up and make DF breakfast and coffee, but it is kind of weird to do it here. I come down from the CHSU (congenital heart surgery unit) to our courtesy room and make him the microwavable things and coffee. I did not really do that the past two day because I slept through 5am. I did though this morning and had his coffee already and asked him if I could make him something. He said no to me making him anything and he made a PB&J sandwich. Then grabbed a coke and I said "Well I have your coffee" and he rejected it and said "I am not really drinking coffee right now, you can drink it." He then asked me why I am down in the room in the first place. I said "I normally come here to assist you," and I do but maybe it went unnoticed. 

       I felt crushed for some reason, it might just be postpartum. I had hand washed my bra and was drying it with a hair dryer then let it set out to help him. I just walked into the bathroom and continued to dry my bra. He opened the door and said he was leaving, I wished him a good day. I did not kiss him, and he has not kissed me in 3 days almost. IDK what to say and IDK if I should be hurt over a stupid thing like coffee. How do you handle this depression? Can men go through it too?  

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
banana-bear
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:04 AM
I feel like I'm missing lots of info. Why are you guys in the hospital? Is your child with you?
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beingme75
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:05 AM
Idk what to say..when men go through depression, they say its worse than a female. :(
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angelmj
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:05 AM

Oh yeah sorry I was not trying to make it too long, our child had heart surgery after he was born and we have been here since. 


Quoting banana-bear:

I feel like I'm missing lots of info. Why are you guys in the hospital? Is your child with you?



Mamasgirl524
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:07 AM
I think he's probably reacting to the situation in the wrong way, but I wouldn't fault him. I don't know how I would act in that situation. Talk to him. Let him know you're hurting too. Hope your son gets better soon.
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Anonymous2u
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:18 AM
Maybe he doesn't know how to handle it. Its not the same thing but my dh was like this when his dad passed away. He didn't know how to handle the grief bc that was his first experience with loss. I just let him know I was there for him and let him come to me when he was ready. Good luck. Prayers


Quoting Mamasgirl524:

I think he's probably reacting to the situation in the wrong way, but I wouldn't fault him. I don't know how I would act in that situation. Talk to him. Let him know you're hurting too. Hope your son gets better soon.

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angelmj
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:20 AM


It's so hard to talk to him when he is like this, I just let him do what he does and tip toe around his mood swing right now. He does not like to talk about his feeling till he has his break downs. :/ I need to learn how to handle this better. 

Quoting Mamasgirl524:

I think he's probably reacting to the situation in the wrong way, but I wouldn't fault him. I don't know how I would act in that situation. Talk to him. Let him know you're hurting too. Hope your son gets better soon.



atyou
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:23 AM
Have you talked to the hospital social worker to see of there is nicu family support at your hospital?

What you are describing is so normal for a nicu family.
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dbrown1989
by Gold Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:24 AM
1 mom liked this

 You guys have lots going on right now. I don't think it was really over coffee. It sounds like he is tired of having to be at the hospital and tired of having your son in the hospital; and I am sure you are too. It's scary to go through I'm sure. I think he's frustrated. Talk to him when he gets back, I bet he will be calmed down by that point and will be your same old fiance again. It sounds like you both are super stressed and just need to remind each other that your lil guy will be okay and remind each other that you love each other. It'll be okay mama.

Megan11587
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:27 AM
He's probably just stressed and scared. Once everyone gets to go home, I'm sure things will go back to normal. Hang in there.
Pink.Frosting
by Ruby Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:29 AM

I don't have much advice about how to bring him around, but from what you wrote, it seems like you are handling him really well.  I would just continue on like you're doing and hopefully he'll come around soon.  When it comes to being a new parent, females tend to bring more maturity to the table than the males in the beginning.  It's just a carry over from the way girls mature faster than boys.  But the good news is, if he is a good man, he will eventually catch up in the parenting department and it shouldn't take too long.  Hang in there momma.

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