I am having negative feelings towards him ***long***
Dh is a good man and husband, not the best but perfect for me. He never remembered my birthday or special occasions (hell every year he forgot his own birthday), it was the little things he did every day he call me several times a day to check if I was ok. During the summer he knows I like water melon, he made sure I never ran out, if he knows I like something and he sees it he would always make sure to buy it for me. Even if we argued we would make up in five minutes, we were very happy together.
Two years ago he lost his job and had to work a job he didn't like to support his family. (he lost a lot of confidence in himself) it was a hit to the finances but we were ok. The thing is he would always send about $600 a month to his family in Africa. Which I don't have a problem with as long as we can afford it; He became reclusive and didn't talk to me much about what was going on with him if I tried to talk to him he would get defensive and it would be a huge argument.
We moved a year and a half ago, our rent pretty much doubled so the money he was sending would have to stop or reduced drastically (to about $100) we have had several arguments about this, he is saying he need to take care of his mom. I am not saying he can't take of his mom, but as one of 18 kids he can't be the only one with a job. When we are stable again he can start sending money again.
The house in Africa he is taking care of contains his mother, three sister, one brother and two kids his mother is taking of; and nobody in the house works. He seems to think that without him they wouldn't survive, I know he is the one making them depend on him but these people have no conscience. He has a family of his own and two young kids how long do they think afford to take care of all their needs.
We argue consistently over everything even stupid things, we makeup eventually but I keep holding on to all to the negative feeling. I keep telling him how I feel, I don't know if he doesn't believe me or what nothing changes. I told him we should get therapy, but he told me I am the only one with a problem. We have good times but the bad times happen more often. I am at the end of my rope and I don't know what to do, this has been going on for two years now I am tired. I am really hoping we can work things out but I am not sure.
Any advice ladies??????