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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Sorry but I need my me time

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 26 Replies

 

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Me and DH both have kids from our first marriages and up until now, we have had them on opposite visitation schedules. His kids visit us on the weekends that my kids are NOT with their dad. However, DH agreed with his ex to switch weekends for the next 3 months because of her work schedule.Don't get me wrong, I know he has every right to do that but I told him that while they are here and my kids are with their dad, he needs to do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry for them. I work too but it seems that I end up doing most of that stuff too, which I am fine with because my kids are the ones home most of the time but if his kids are going to be the only ones here then he should do it on those weekends.

 The one beneift of being divorced is that you do get time without your kids on your own. It sucks to be without them but at least you do get time that you don't have to worry about cooking, cleaning and laundry. I feel that my DH's decision to switch time with his ex should not take away my time.

BTW I do plan on doing family stuff/outings I just don't plan on doing the cooking, cleaning and laundry for them.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
randi1978
by Murdoc's Mistress on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:08 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't think you're being all that unreasonable.  It's not hard for him to be the responsible party for those two days since it will be his kids making the messes.  I'd simply just not do it, OP.  If he says something, remind him that it's his job on those days since you do it all the other times.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:18 AM

Thanks, the way I see it, they are his kids, if I do all the cooking and cleaning when my kids are here, shouldn't he do the same for his kids? Also, he is the one who switched weekends.


Quoting randi1978:

I don't think you're being all that unreasonable.  It's not hard for him to be the responsible party for those two days since it will be his kids making the messes.  I'd simply just not do it, OP.  If he says something, remind him that it's his job on those days since you do it all the other times.



alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:21 AM

I'm confused, you don't cook/clean for yourselves when your kids are out of town?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:22 AM

When you marry someone with kids you take on the responsibility of those kids as well. Suck it up for three months. You will be fine.

kirita323
by Gold Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:23 AM

Something tells me he's going to wish he hadn't switched weekends!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:23 AM

My kids are only gone from friday to Sunday night so I usually eat leftovers or take out and since the house is clean when they leave and it's usually just me and DH, if we both pick up after ourselves, we don't really need to clean (except I do wipe our bathroom down everyday).


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

I'm confused, you don't cook/clean for yourselves when your kids are out of town?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:24 AM
1 mom liked this

So their dad should have no responsibility? She is not saying let the kids be neglected she is saying their dad can man up and take care of the kids instead of just sitting back and doing the fun parts while she does the work. 


Quoting Anonymous:

When you marry someone with kids you take on the responsibility of those kids as well. Suck it up for three months. You will be fine.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:25 AM

In that case, he should be doing half the housework all the time, he doesn't, which I am fine with because I am the one who has kids living with us but when the situation is reversed, he needs to do the same.


Quoting Anonymous:

When you marry someone with kids you take on the responsibility of those kids as well. Suck it up for three months. You will be fine.



FooLynRoo
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:27 AM

I see your point and there is nothing wrong with asking your DH to step up and do some of the chores as well.

however its a bit.. unsettling that you would draw that line and make that demand when its just HIS kids.. 

Personally (not for you, for ME) I don't think i'd care all that much, its just 3 months. I can do no ME time for 3 months.


brittany208
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:27 AM

I wouldn't say "those are YOUR kids, YOU deal with them, you're on your own!" but maybe just expect him to help out more in general. and maybe while his kids are there, you could take the evening off to go do something fun that you want to do without them.

DH and I are married, but he will take DS outside or to the park or wherever so I can have some peace and quiet when I need.

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