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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Sorry but I need my me time

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

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Question: Agree or disagree

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Me and DH both have kids from our first marriages and up until now, we have had them on opposite visitation schedules. His kids visit us on the weekends that my kids are NOT with their dad. However, DH agreed with his ex to switch weekends for the next 3 months because of her work schedule.Don't get me wrong, I know he has every right to do that but I told him that while they are here and my kids are with their dad, he needs to do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry for them. I work too but it seems that I end up doing most of that stuff too, which I am fine with because my kids are the ones home most of the time but if his kids are going to be the only ones here then he should do it on those weekends.

 The one beneift of being divorced is that you do get time without your kids on your own. It sucks to be without them but at least you do get time that you don't have to worry about cooking, cleaning and laundry. I feel that my DH's decision to switch time with his ex should not take away my time.

BTW I do plan on doing family stuff/outings I just don't plan on doing the cooking, cleaning and laundry for them.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:03 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:28 AM
1 mom liked this

 That's not at all what I'm saying. If you want to be a family unit those children need to be treated just as hers would. Would you normally cook, etc..for your children if they were home. Well, then you should do the same for his kids.

Quoting Anonymous:

So their dad should have no responsibility? She is not saying let the kids be neglected she is saying their dad can man up and take care of the kids instead of just sitting back and doing the fun parts while she does the work. 

 

Quoting Anonymous:

When you marry someone with kids you take on the responsibility of those kids as well. Suck it up for three months. You will be fine.

 

 

 

brittany208
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:30 AM

 I guess if it was me, I don't think I'd have the "these are YOUR kids, these are MY kids" mindset, but more of a "we are all a FAMILY and we all work TOGETHER to get everything done." I would just make him help out more in general whenever you need it, not just you take care of your kids, he takes care of his.


Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks, the way I see it, they are his kids, if I do all the cooking and cleaning when my kids are here, shouldn't he do the same for his kids? Also, he is the one who switched weekends.

 

Quoting randi1978:

I don't think you're being all that unreasonable.  It's not hard for him to be the responsible party for those two days since it will be his kids making the messes.  I'd simply just not do it, OP.  If he says something, remind him that it's his job on those days since you do it all the other times.

 

 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:30 AM

He does that with me, he feels that I should do most of the housework while my kids are here so if it works for me, why shouldn't it work for him? I COULD go without the me time but I am not the one who agreed to switch weekends, he did


Quoting FooLynRoo:

I see your point and there is nothing wrong with asking your DH to step up and do some of the chores as well.

however its a bit.. unsettling that you would draw that line and make that demand when its just HIS kids.. 

Personally (not for you, for ME) I don't think i'd care all that much, its just 3 months. I can do no ME time for 3 months.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:30 AM

Wy can't he do it? A family s still a family unit if dad learns to cook a meal and do some dishes on the weekends.


Quoting Anonymous:

 That's not at all what I'm saying. If you want to be a family unit those children need to be treated just as hers would. Would you normally cook, etc..for your children if they were home. Well, then you should do the same for his kids.

Quoting Anonymous:

So their dad should have no responsibility? She is not saying let the kids be neglected she is saying their dad can man up and take care of the kids instead of just sitting back and doing the fun parts while she does the work. 

 

Quoting Anonymous:

When you marry someone with kids you take on the responsibility of those kids as well. Suck it up for three months. You will be fine.

 

 

 


 

FooLynRoo
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:33 AM


Well if that's how he made the rules - then of course stand by them, he can't have an issue if HE is the one who set the precedent. I wasn't aware that he is the one who set the yours and mine crap.

Im sure a blended family is very difficult to maintain, thankfully I never had to experience it , but I don't think I could handle yours and mine bull crap.

Good luck

Quoting Anonymous:

He does that with me, he feels that I should do most of the housework while my kids are here so if it works for me, why shouldn't it work for him? I COULD go without the me time but I am not the one who agreed to switch weekends, he did


Quoting FooLynRoo:

I see your point and there is nothing wrong with asking your DH to step up and do some of the chores as well.

however its a bit.. unsettling that you would draw that line and make that demand when its just HIS kids.. 

Personally (not for you, for ME) I don't think i'd care all that much, its just 3 months. I can do no ME time for 3 months.






Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:35 AM

 I'm not saying he can't. I'm just trying to point out that it's silly to segregate the children by saying I will do for my kids but not yours. She took on the roll as their "mother" while they are in their home. Does that mean dad can't help, no it doesnt.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wy can't he do it? A family s still a family unit if dad learns to cook a meal and do some dishes on the weekends.

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 That's not at all what I'm saying. If you want to be a family unit those children need to be treated just as hers would. Would you normally cook, etc..for your children if they were home. Well, then you should do the same for his kids.

Quoting Anonymous:

So their dad should have no responsibility? She is not saying let the kids be neglected she is saying their dad can man up and take care of the kids instead of just sitting back and doing the fun parts while she does the work. 

 

Quoting Anonymous:

When you marry someone with kids you take on the responsibility of those kids as well. Suck it up for three months. You will be fine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ultra_
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:36 AM

I agree. As long as you're still being nice to them if they're not evil to you. You'll still likely cave and do A LITTLE of that stuff. I always cave with my husband. Ugh. Lol.


oorahwife31
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:40 AM

If my husband did that to me with my daughter, we never would've gotten married - a blended family is just that, a blended family - there should be no "My kids" and "Your kids", that's gonna lead to a lot of trouble down the road - they're children, not dogs and it's only on the weekends at that, not for 3 months straight - i think it's a very awful way of looking at someone's kids, if my ex-husband's wife did that with my daughter i'd have serious issues, thankfully she's wonderful though and loves her very much and goes above and beyond what she needs to - i think you could show a little kindness and i bet your husband would really love it b/c it's his kids your showing it to - but if you feel the need to seperate i just hope the kids don't realize it b/c it wil make them feel like they're a bother to you - good luck

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:41 AM

It is also silly to change things with out asking your spouse for their opinion. If she got no say in it than he gets to do the extra work that it brings. 


Quoting Anonymous:

 I'm not saying he can't. I'm just trying to point out that it's silly to segregate the children by saying I will do for my kids but not yours. She took on the roll as their "mother" while they are in their home. Does that mean dad can't help, no it doesnt.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wy can't he do it? A family s still a family unit if dad learns to cook a meal and do some dishes on the weekends.

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 That's not at all what I'm saying. If you want to be a family unit those children need to be treated just as hers would. Would you normally cook, etc..for your children if they were home. Well, then you should do the same for his kids.

Quoting Anonymous:

So their dad should have no responsibility? She is not saying let the kids be neglected she is saying their dad can man up and take care of the kids instead of just sitting back and doing the fun parts while she does the work. 

 

Quoting Anonymous:

When you marry someone with kids you take on the responsibility of those kids as well. Suck it up for three months. You will be fine.

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:45 AM

 No where does it say she wasn't consulted first. Seriously, it's three months, not an eternity. We obviously have differing opinions. You wont change mine and I really don't care if you change yours.

Quoting Anonymous:

It is also silly to change things with out asking your spouse for their opinion. If she got no say in it than he gets to do the extra work that it brings. 

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 I'm not saying he can't. I'm just trying to point out that it's silly to segregate the children by saying I will do for my kids but not yours. She took on the roll as their "mother" while they are in their home. Does that mean dad can't help, no it doesnt.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wy can't he do it? A family s still a family unit if dad learns to cook a meal and do some dishes on the weekends.

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 That's not at all what I'm saying. If you want to be a family unit those children need to be treated just as hers would. Would you normally cook, etc..for your children if they were home. Well, then you should do the same for his kids.

Quoting Anonymous:

So their dad should have no responsibility? She is not saying let the kids be neglected she is saying their dad can man up and take care of the kids instead of just sitting back and doing the fun parts while she does the work. 

 

Quoting Anonymous:

When you marry someone with kids you take on the responsibility of those kids as well. Suck it up for three months. You will be fine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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