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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Sorry but I need my me time

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

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Me and DH both have kids from our first marriages and up until now, we have had them on opposite visitation schedules. His kids visit us on the weekends that my kids are NOT with their dad. However, DH agreed with his ex to switch weekends for the next 3 months because of her work schedule.Don't get me wrong, I know he has every right to do that but I told him that while they are here and my kids are with their dad, he needs to do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry for them. I work too but it seems that I end up doing most of that stuff too, which I am fine with because my kids are the ones home most of the time but if his kids are going to be the only ones here then he should do it on those weekends.

 The one beneift of being divorced is that you do get time without your kids on your own. It sucks to be without them but at least you do get time that you don't have to worry about cooking, cleaning and laundry. I feel that my DH's decision to switch time with his ex should not take away my time.

BTW I do plan on doing family stuff/outings I just don't plan on doing the cooking, cleaning and laundry for them.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:03 AM
Replies (21-26):
Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:46 AM

Why not ask your children's father if he can switch weekends too?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:52 AM

He won't


Quoting Melissa_4:

Why not ask your children's father if he can switch weekends too?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:54 AM

Eh....Honestly to me it seems kind of separatist and pissy. There's a lot of his and mine going on but not much "ours".

I understand the beef of not getting as much help as you'd like around the house. Many parents deal with this issue every day. But to want to take months off because they are "his" kids seems weird to me. I know when my kids go stay a week with their inlaws I usually do the same household chores, on a slightly lighter level.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:54 AM

He is the one who did the separating by expecting me to do the housework becuase my kids are here most of the time.

Quoting oorahwife31:

If my husband did that to me with my daughter, we never would've gotten married - a blended family is just that, a blended family - there should be no "My kids" and "Your kids", that's gonna lead to a lot of trouble down the road - they're children, not dogs and it's only on the weekends at that, not for 3 months straight - i think it's a very awful way of looking at someone's kids, if my ex-husband's wife did that with my daughter i'd have serious issues, thankfully she's wonderful though and loves her very much and goes above and beyond what she needs to - i think you could show a little kindness and i bet your husband would really love it b/c it's his kids your showing it to - but if you feel the need to seperate i just hope the kids don't realize it b/c it wil make them feel like they're a bother to you - good luck



kryptomom
by Gold Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:56 AM

While I agree you two should have made this decision together, I don't think you are right.  You married a man with kids and should have expected them to be at your house.  You have established  with your husband that you do most of the housework.

But it is your marriage and if you and dh agree to this, that's cool.

oorahwife31
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 10:00 AM

It shouldn't matter, it's a family, you are all a family - i would do it b/c you care about the children - i'm just curious but how long have yall been married and how old are the children?

Quoting Anonymous:

He is the one who did the separating by expecting me to do the housework becuase my kids are here most of the time.

Quoting oorahwife31:

If my husband did that to me with my daughter, we never would've gotten married - a blended family is just that, a blended family - there should be no "My kids" and "Your kids", that's gonna lead to a lot of trouble down the road - they're children, not dogs and it's only on the weekends at that, not for 3 months straight - i think it's a very awful way of looking at someone's kids, if my ex-husband's wife did that with my daughter i'd have serious issues, thankfully she's wonderful though and loves her very much and goes above and beyond what she needs to - i think you could show a little kindness and i bet your husband would really love it b/c it's his kids your showing it to - but if you feel the need to seperate i just hope the kids don't realize it b/c it wil make them feel like they're a bother to you - good luck




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