Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i think i was raped...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My husband was drunk last night and he forced himself on me. I'm on my monthly so I told him no but he held me down and then he just went to sleep while I layed there crying. He told me sorry this morning but said he didn't remember doing it. :(

Thank you everyone. I feel so mad!!! I never thought he would do this to me.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:34 PM
Replies (51-60):
Serenity7
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:59 PM

 (((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

Gardeningmom4
by Ruby Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:01 PM

She means that it is rape by the laws standards.It's called spousal rape.Rape does not stop being rape legally just because it is a SO or DH that does it.


Quoting LadyF86:

 what??? about what?

Quoting LoveMyLos:

Yall need to get yourselves educated....seriously.

Quoting LadyF86:

 I would feel disgusted and violated. I do not think it can be considered rape by the law since he is your husband but I see it that way and I would of been introducing my knee to his nuts.

 



LadyF86
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:01 PM

 OK, I said I thought it was...... I do not know all the laws on it and what the LAW considers spousal rape but I agreed that I think it is.

Quoting purpleducky:

Spousal rape. It is real and in many states against the law.

Quoting LadyF86:

 what??? about what?

Quoting LoveMyLos:

Yall need to get yourselves educated....seriously.

Quoting LadyF86:

 I would feel disgusted and violated. I do not think it can be considered rape by the law since he is your husband but I see it that way and I would of been introducing my knee to his nuts.

 


 

LadyF86
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:02 PM

 Like I said, I think it is but I do not know the LAWS pertaining to it. Never researched it.

Quoting Gardeningmom4:

She means that it is rape by the laws standards.It's called spousal rape.Rape does not stop being rape legally just because it is a SO or DH that does it.

 

Quoting LadyF86:

 what??? about what?

Quoting LoveMyLos:

Yall need to get yourselves educated....seriously.

Quoting LadyF86:

 I would feel disgusted and violated. I do not think it can be considered rape by the law since he is your husband but I see it that way and I would of been introducing my knee to his nuts.

 

 

 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:03 PM
If my husband wants sex and I don't he isn't getting it! If he was drunk... He would wake up to find himself tied or restrained to something or I wouldn't be home. If he was so drunk and she didn't want sex bad enough that she cried about it she should have left... I doubt he tied her down or threatened her life to make her stay there

Quoting purpleducky:

No! No means no! People sometimes stop fighting for a variety of reasons but that doesn't retract the no.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm not convinced that a totally drunk off his butt guy was able to hold u down to rape u. In my opinion... He wanted it and u said no at first then ended up saying whatever (and not fighting or trying against it) or he wasn't that drunk.

It's a bad situation either way but I'm not convinced he raped u and doesn't remember.

As far as all of the people that are gonna say "no means no" it only applies when the no is stuck with. If she blew it of and was like whatever then it wasn't no


mommieof3_752
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:06 PM

My goodness hun. Im so sorry. If you told him NO then he should have rolled his drunk ass over and went to sleep. There is a serious problem when your husband does something like this. He is supposed to be the  one person you can count on to respect you and your body and what you want. You need to sit down with him and talk about this. He needs to quit drinking. If he cant control himself and keep himself from hurting you while under the influence then he shouldnt be doing it. That is like him knowingly putting you at risk and in harms way, and it makes it worse because he is the one hurting you. Im sorry he did that to you. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:06 PM
Oh yeah just oh so stupid... Maybe the op should talk to some rape victims instead of some hormone high mommies that have their panties in a bunch over her and her husbands sexual misunderstanding.


Quoting LoveMyLos:

Good god the stupidity in this post!!



Quoting Anonymous:

I'm not convinced that a totally drunk off his butt guy was able to hold u down to rape u. In my opinion... He wanted it and u said no at first then ended up saying whatever (and not fighting or trying against it) or he wasn't that drunk.


It's a bad situation either way but I'm not convinced he raped u and doesn't remember.


As far as all of the people that are gonna say "no means no" it only applies when the no is stuck with. If she blew it of and was like whatever then it wasn't no
NBean311
by Chivette on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:07 PM

No matter how drunk someone is, rape is a pretty severe thing to do and not remember. He sounds like he needs to get help for his drinking ASAP, and get into therapy for what he did to you. You could also benefit from talking to someone about the experience. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:07 PM
1 mom liked this
No means no, even for her husband. A man is not entitled to sex just because she is his wife, if she says no and he forces himself on her that is rape. The definition of rape does not change because he is her husband. Her body is not his whenever he chooses. A woman does not have to oblige every whim her husband has, she has the right to say no and that must be respected by her husband. That is what she meant by educate yourself. You do not get to define rape with whatever justification you can think of.
It really is simple - she said no, he forced himself on her and that equals rape. She doesn't have to fight, kick, scream or do whatever someone else believes she should for what happened to equal rape. I REALLY hope that some of these posters children are not being taught this way of thinking, that only opens them up to be victims or to be perpetrators. Woman and men do have the right to say no, even to their spouses and those spouses must respect that!

Quoting LadyF86:

 what??? about what?


Quoting LoveMyLos:

Yall need to get yourselves educated....seriously.


Quoting LadyF86:


 I would feel disgusted and violated. I do not think it can be considered rape by the law since he is your husband but I see it that way and I would of been introducing my knee to his nuts.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:08 PM

How do YOU feel about the situation, OP? Yes, you can call that rape, but do you want to? Do you feel disgusted and violated, or just annoyed and angry at the whole thing?

I ask because once I was at a guy friend's house. He had been my BF previously, but we werent dating at the time. Anyways, we both got drunk and he started to try to have sex with me and I told him no. After a minute or two of saying no, he did stop. I suppose I *could* have, in my situation, called it rape, but I wasn't so bothered by the whole situation. I wasn't going to ruin his whole life over a bad decision he started to make when drinking too much. I just stopped hanging out with him and went on with my life. Anyways--i know thats not the same situation as yours. My point is--it is up to you to decide what you want to do about it. Leave him altogether? Tell him to stop drinking? Forgive him and move on?

What he did was wrong, but it is still up to you to decide what you want to do about it. and you have lots of options.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured