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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Dh cheated

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 64 Replies
I found out 2 years ago yesterday and 2 years ago today was the first full day I had to endure the truth.
My problem is this... I have forgiven him an we are still together. In fact, our marriage is 10 times better and we communicate so much better. But today I am having the same physical reaction I did the day after finding out. I have been sick all day, I can not even consider eating, and I feel nauseous.
So, why, after 2 years and forgiving him and having a better marriage do I still feel like this? I even had the exact same nightmare.
This happened last year as well, and both times I didn't realize the date until after the physical problems started. Like no joke, I had not thought about the situation at all until about an hour ago. So it's not from me over thinking and going over the situation and that day over and over. It just happens.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
theCMtroll82
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:46 PM

many people wouldnt stay with the person after they cheated, so you are strong in that regard. I am not sure after cheating that anyone can fully 100 percent trust that person. One never forgets that kind of thing. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:50 PM
Some days are harder than others, but the hard days are now few and far between. But we knew he cheated bc he had problems with himself that needed to be fixed. So he worked hat on fixing them and proving to me that he had changed. And he most definitely has! :)

Quoting theCMtroll82:

many people wouldnt stay with the person after they cheated, so you are strong in that regard. I am not sure after cheating that anyone can fully 100 percent trust that person. One never forgets that kind of thing. 

theCMtroll82
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:51 PM

that's great :) I know marriage can be very difficult sometimes.

Quoting Anonymous:

Some days are harder than others, but the hard days are now few and far between. But we knew he cheated bc he had problems with himself that needed to be fixed. So he worked hat on fixing them and proving to me that he had changed. And he most definitely has! :)

Quoting theCMtroll82:

many people wouldnt stay with the person after they cheated, so you are strong in that regard. I am not sure after cheating that anyone can fully 100 percent trust that person. One never forgets that kind of thing. 


mem82
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:51 PM

Somewhere in your brain, you remembered.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:51 PM

It happens because it was a traumatizing thing to go though. He did a despicable thing and he should be thankful every day of his life that you stayed.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:52 PM

Talk to him about it

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:55 PM
3 moms liked this

Your brain subconciously stored that traumatic event and it resurfaces due to triggers you may not be aware of. 

tlcory
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:55 PM

It is a part of forgiving but not forgetting, the pain was so much, maybe it's a subconscious way to prepare yourself if it ever happened again? Idk All the best to you though! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:55 PM

You will never fully get over that type of betrayal. I rarely think about my spouse cheating over 20 years ago but a smell or a similar looking person or something will suddenly trigger a bad memory and bring me right back to the awful way I felt then, including the physical symtoms I had. Sad but true.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:56 PM
He just walked back in from work... He thinks I might have PTSD an that muscle memory is causing this reaction.
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