Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How do I tell him?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies

I'm becoming a SAHM.

I spent a couple of hours this morning considering this, getting the numbers down on paper, and making a pro/con list.  I can't return to work from my maternity leave.  Now that we have four children, we will lose money if I return to my job because of the cost of childcare for two new babies.  Between the childcare, commute expenses, and miscellaneous expenses (food, coffee, office attire), we can't even break even.  It will be a loss of hundreds of dollars per month.

The job is part-time (24 hours per week), and my income makes up about 1/5 of our total income.  I was never doing it for the money, but I think that feeling like we both contribute financially helped him to ignore any financial burdens that come with having a big family.  Basically, I feel like his opposition to me being a SAHM (which only came to light during this last pregnancy) is that it scares him to be the sole earner.  I totally understand that it's a lot of pressure.

I know that this is a major life/family decision, and I really want him to be on board.  I want us to move into a new chapter excited, not resenting each other.  As much as we need to discuss it and agree to it, I've pretty much made up my mind.  If it is more expensive for me to return to work than stay home and I am satisfied being home with the kids, then I fail to see why we would choose any other way.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:32 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:43 PM

Bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 1, 2013 at 4:32 PM

Bump

Please help!  I need advice before he is home from work!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:50 PM

Really?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:52 PM
2 moms liked this
You don't tell him. It's a discussion you need to have with him. The decision should be mutual
LovelyMommy24
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:52 PM

I would just tell him everything you said. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:53 PM

Talk to him.

Val99
by Ruby Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:53 PM

Get a job during his home hours.  That way you can still contribute incom and you don't need daycare.

mommytoeandb
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:54 PM
This.

Quoting Anonymous:

You don't tell him. It's a discussion you need to have with him. The decision should be mutual
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
anotherandree
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:57 PM

This.  He might have some things to say that you might not have thought about or considered.  You should be in a partnership, neither one of you should be "telling" the other one anything.  It should be a discussion about what is best for your family and family situation.

Quoting Anonymous:

You don't tell him. It's a discussion you need to have with him. The decision should be mutual


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:58 PM

This is not an option, but it would be great if it was!


Quoting Val99:

Get a job during his home hours.  That way you can still contribute incom and you don't need daycare.



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)