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I spanked my kid in the mall today AND...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I spanked my kid in the mall today and an old man was sitting on a bench and saw and he thumbs upped me!  I passed by him, and he muttered, "Most mom's are too damn afraid to spank their out of control kids who need a good spanking, good job!"

~ I swatted my kid's behind because he started to throw a temper tantrum when we left a store, I told him Let's Go, and he sat down and cried... So, I picked him up and spanked him and he quit crying and we walked our merry way around the mall ~  

Momma don't play.

(He's a toddler, I didn't abuse him, I didn't beat him, I didn't punch him, or slap him, I didn't hurt him, I didn't leave a bruise or a mark.  I spanked his butt once and it got his attention to act like a normal human being and walk around the mall instead of throwing a temper tantrum.)

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:04 AM
Replies (151-160):
audreesmama
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:53 AM
She helped create her list of rules and consequences. She is smart. She understands how to control herself. It is not scarier to use soft words with a child than it is to use my size to intimidate her and then physically strike her.

How do I not respect myself?! I actually have great respect for myself. Thanks for your concern, but I am not the least bit conflicted.


Quoting Anonymous:

 Making consequences for her actions, and getting down to her level, essentially in her face, is way scarier than a swat on the bum. You use intimidation....you don't respect yourself...how can you stand it, being so conflicted? My goodness.




Quoting audreesmama:

Uh no, I use words. She understands there are consequences. She is in control of her behavior. Should she choose not to behave she knows there are consequences. There is a list on the refrigerator, and she knows them by heart. That's neither fear nor intimidation--that's allowing a child to make decisions and then expect certain outcomes if that child chooses poorly.

I don't stand over her and strike her if she doesn't listen. That is fear and intimidation.



Quoting Anonymous:


 So you do use fear and intimidation? I'm confused, because earlier you said you didnt...



 



Quoting audreesmama:

I haven't been spanked since I was a child but just thinking of it makes my heart race. It certainly incites fear.

I'm not lazy because I choose not to physically address my child. The second she starts a tantrum, I get down to her level and let her know that is not acceptable and she will face consequences if she doesn't straighten up. If she persists, she goes to time out. My child has never thrown screaming tantrums, and I would not tolerate that. I had custody o my brother and he was used to being spanked. He came to me when he was 8. I never spanked him, he threw one tantrum and that was it. My method works for both of these kids, as well as all the foster kids I've had. I have never spanked a child in my life and never would.

It's not laziness, it's just common sense.




Quoting Anonymous:



 Do you get scared when someone swats your bottom?




 




I was never afraid of my mom when she spanked me...I knew I was in trouble, but I wasn't afraid.




Spanking, is not intimidating, or scary...its a snap to get a kid to stop acting like a fool. Which, sorry, but no amount of talking nicely to your child is going to get them to come out of a tantrum. And you could just stand there and ignore their tantrum, or wait till they're done, but what does that say...that you're lazy and don't want to deal with your kid throwing a tantrum. A swat on the bum can be a very effective tool in parenting...




 




Quoting audreesmama:

I disagree completely. If you can't discipline a child without using fear and intimidation, you aren't a good mother at all in my book. I have no respect for people like that.





Quoting Anonymous:




 No...sometimes kids don't learn, no matter how consistent you are, or how well you teach them to behave. Sometimes one good swat on the bum works perfect. My sil is an excellant mother, does everything right, but my neice can be a real handful sometimes, and my sil just swats her once on the bum, and she straightens up real quick. Shes 4. I'm not downing your way of parenting, if it works it works, but sometimes kids just need a swat on the bum to snap them back to reality.





 





Quoting audreesmama:

Why would it be necessary? To me, that's a last resort. As in, your child has not been taught how to act and you don't know what else to do. That's a sign for help, not for spanking.






Quoting Anonymous:





 I do. I haven't needed to spank my kid, but I wouldn't hesitate if I felt it necessary.






 






Quoting audreesmama:

Discipline your children and raise them correctly. That will do them good.







Quoting Anonymous:






Women are so dramatic...I'm sure if a fly landed on their sweet little terror, they'd throw a fit about how that fly should be exterminated because it passed germs on to their child, and probably left little tiny fly feet bruises on their kid......HONESTLY! There is a reason everyone hates these damn disrespectful children running out having babies at 16, just to be on a tv show....spank your kids...it'll do them good.







 






 






 





 





 




 




 



 





 


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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:54 AM
i'm a spanker too, I don't put up with that crap
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:54 AM
2 moms liked this

Wait, I just proved you wrong. And then you try (and fail) at insulting me?! That's hilarious!  Were you a high school drop out? Is this why you said get a GED or something?  

Quoting LeahJ:

Oh, honey. Lol. Just stop.....go read a book, or get a GED or something. Seriously.

Quoting Anonymous:

My kid doesn't hit. I spank him.
My friend's kid hits. She doesn't spank, she puts him in time out.

Your thought process is flawed! 

Quoting LeahJ:

Actually, what i was saying is that your entire statement was completely contradictory. You can't teach "we don't hit" WHILE hitting him. You cant teach we don't hurt people WHILE hurting him.



Quoting bustybee:

its like me saying that becuase you don't spank your kids they will grow up to be undisciplined criminals. unless you know me personally, meet my kids, etc. you have no idea.



Quoting LeahJ:

Ok, this one actually made me laugh out loud. He knows you don't hit or hurt people? And he knows this how? When you're HITTING him? That is so messed up. and if you think he doesn't fear being hit, then i suggest you get some counseling for him because there is something wrong.



Quoting bustybee:



spanking is my ultimate form of discipline. ds1 (age 5) knows that certain actions will earn him a spanking. he also knows, however, that we do not hit or hurt people. he also does not fear being hit.




its a common misconception.




Quoting Anonymous:

Discipline teaches a child right from wrong. Spanking teaches a child to do the right thing for fear of being hit.





Quoting bustybee:




I have often been told by older people that "I have the right of it" rather than that "new way of parenting" and that is because I am not afraid to spank or discipline if necessary


















LeahJ
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:54 AM
Ah. So if we don't hit our kids, they will grow up to be mass murderers. Lol. Keep talking. Really. I've and a headache all day and this is just too funny.

Quoting Anonymous:

Then why did he quit crying IMMEDIATELY and go about our trip in the mall? Talk about logic is DISCIPLINING YOUR CHILDREN.  Maybe then they wont turn into mass murderous young adults who were never disciplined!

Quoting LeahJ:

Yes, because hitting kids always calms them right down. Rofl. That's some spanking "logic" for ya!



Quoting Anonymous:

I did give him a warning, I explained it, I think it's on page 2?  I have never just spanked him without counting to 3 first!  He generally stops crying and counts with me and everything goes back to normal.  This time he wouldn't listen and kept up with his tantrum!  

Quoting Retrokitty:

Yes! I worked in a playground in a grocer store. Parents who gave their kids warning before they would go pay would come back say "let's go" and the kids would go. Parents who came in demanding the kids leave got faced with tantrums. Kids need that warning so they don't go into fight or flight.








Quoting svolkov:

Or give him a transition warning...ok we have to go in threw minutes...1 minute....lets do a piggy back to the car..etc etc.










Quoting Retrokitty:

The kid acted out because when you said lets go he went into fight or flight mode. When that happens the rational part of the brain shuts down. His tantrum is a way of coping. You should either a. Ignore it or b. do deep pressure by holding him tight and close. Both a and b will let his body release a natural saratonin teaching him to better control himself. Spanking will only make him keep reacting like that longer. The tantrum was a natural way for his body to cope and you disrupted that.








Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:55 AM
1 mom liked this


But it's ok for you to hit someone probably less than 1/4 your size??????????? 

Quoting TeamTARDIS:

You would have found yourself in hand cuffs and charged with assault! I have no problem calling 911 on someone who sticks their nose where it doesn't belong and then assaults me!


Quoting Anonymous:

What a poor excuse for parenting!!!!!  I would have smacked you if I saw you hit your child, and yes I am a mother!





svolkov
by Emerald Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:55 AM
I have a masters in behavior analysis with a cert in sensory disorders/asd


Quoting Retrokitty:

A lot of people don't seem to grasp it. Again people can't grasp that the tantrum is a kids way of coping. They aren't doing it to act out. The pressure (whether it be stomping, fist pounding, or laying on the ground) releases saratonin and that makes them feel good. If you haven't I would really reccomend looking into sensory studies (sensory rooms, sensory responses ect.) its super effective especially in special education. The most common one is letting kids have a figet item in class or letting them doodle.




Quoting svolkov:

We call it transitioning in spec ed. Its hard for young kids as well as those with disabilities...evenbi like some warning...imagine if your SO ran in the house when you werent ready and demanded you leave to go somewhere right that minute. Of course you would protest...what would your SO do??? Oh sorry honey sure get ready or.....imma smack a b!@#$?? Lol






Quoting Retrokitty:

Yes! I worked in a playground in a grocer store. Parents who gave their kids warning before they would go pay would come back say "let's go" and the kids would go. Parents who came in demanding the kids leave got faced with tantrums. Kids need that warning so they don't go into fight or flight.








Quoting svolkov:

Or give him a transition warning...ok we have to go in threw minutes...1 minute....lets do a piggy back to the car..etc etc.










Quoting Retrokitty:

The kid acted out because when you said lets go he went into fight or flight mode. When that happens the rational part of the brain shuts down. His tantrum is a way of coping. You should either a. Ignore it or b. do deep pressure by holding him tight and close. Both a and b will let his body release a natural saratonin teaching him to better control himself. Spanking will only make him keep reacting like that longer. The tantrum was a natural way for his body to cope and you disrupted that.





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
DEJavu17
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:56 AM
I spanked did in front of her school. She almost ran into traffic and if she would have been following directions (she's 6 its not a foreign concept) she would have heard me ask her to stop multiple times. I gave her a quick swat, reprimanded her verbally as well and we went on our merry way. No one said a word.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Matriarch87
by Ruby Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:56 AM
I was terrified of getting spanked and terrified of my parents. Spanking is what's lazy. It's fast with an immediate result. But it's risky with probable long term effects...

Quoting Anonymous:

 Do you get scared when someone swats your bottom?


 


I was never afraid of my mom when she spanked me...I knew I was in trouble, but I wasn't afraid.


Spanking, is not intimidating, or scary...its a snap to get a kid to stop acting like a fool. Which, sorry, but no amount of talking nicely to your child is going to get them to come out of a tantrum. And you could just stand there and ignore their tantrum, or wait till they're done, but what does that say...that you're lazy and don't want to deal with your kid throwing a tantrum. A swat on the bum can be a very effective tool in parenting...




Quoting audreesmama:

I disagree completely. If you can't discipline a child without using fear and intimidation, you aren't a good mother at all in my book. I have no respect for people like that.



Quoting Anonymous:


 No...sometimes kids don't learn, no matter how consistent you are, or how well you teach them to behave. Sometimes one good swat on the bum works perfect. My sil is an excellant mother, does everything right, but my neice can be a real handful sometimes, and my sil just swats her once on the bum, and she straightens up real quick. Shes 4. I'm not downing your way of parenting, if it works it works, but sometimes kids just need a swat on the bum to snap them back to reality.



 



Quoting audreesmama:

Why would it be necessary? To me, that's a last resort. As in, your child has not been taught how to act and you don't know what else to do. That's a sign for help, not for spanking.




Quoting Anonymous:



 I do. I haven't needed to spank my kid, but I wouldn't hesitate if I felt it necessary.




 




Quoting audreesmama:

Discipline your children and raise them correctly. That will do them good.





Quoting Anonymous:




Women are so dramatic...I'm sure if a fly landed on their sweet little terror, they'd throw a fit about how that fly should be exterminated because it passed germs on to their child, and probably left little tiny fly feet bruises on their kid......HONESTLY! There is a reason everyone hates these damn disrespectful children running out having babies at 16, just to be on a tv show....spank your kids...it'll do them good.





 




 




 



 





 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:56 AM
Actually, Delaware is the only state that has criminalized spanking.

Quoting Anonymous:

Nope it is now illegal in all states, look it up.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:57 AM

 You use a form of intimidation...just admit it, lol.


Quoting audreesmama:

She helped create her list of rules and consequences. She is smart. She understands how to control herself. It is not scarier to use soft words with a child than it is to use my size to intimidate her and then physically strike her.

How do I not respect myself?! I actually have great respect for myself. Thanks for your concern, but I am not the least bit conflicted.


Quoting Anonymous:

 Making consequences for her actions, and getting down to her level, essentially in her face, is way scarier than a swat on the bum. You use intimidation....you don't respect yourself...how can you stand it, being so conflicted? My goodness.


 


Quoting audreesmama:

Uh no, I use words. She understands there are consequences. She is in control of her behavior. Should she choose not to behave she knows there are consequences. There is a list on the refrigerator, and she knows them by heart. That's neither fear nor intimidation--that's allowing a child to make decisions and then expect certain outcomes if that child chooses poorly.

I don't stand over her and strike her if she doesn't listen. That is fear and intimidation.



Quoting Anonymous:


 So you do use fear and intimidation? I'm confused, because earlier you said you didnt...



 



Quoting audreesmama:

I haven't been spanked since I was a child but just thinking of it makes my heart race. It certainly incites fear.

I'm not lazy because I choose not to physically address my child. The second she starts a tantrum, I get down to her level and let her know that is not acceptable and she will face consequences if she doesn't straighten up. If she persists, she goes to time out. My child has never thrown screaming tantrums, and I would not tolerate that. I had custody o my brother and he was used to being spanked. He came to me when he was 8. I never spanked him, he threw one tantrum and that was it. My method works for both of these kids, as well as all the foster kids I've had. I have never spanked a child in my life and never would.

It's not laziness, it's just common sense.




Quoting Anonymous:



 Do you get scared when someone swats your bottom?




 




I was never afraid of my mom when she spanked me...I knew I was in trouble, but I wasn't afraid.




Spanking, is not intimidating, or scary...its a snap to get a kid to stop acting like a fool. Which, sorry, but no amount of talking nicely to your child is going to get them to come out of a tantrum. And you could just stand there and ignore their tantrum, or wait till they're done, but what does that say...that you're lazy and don't want to deal with your kid throwing a tantrum. A swat on the bum can be a very effective tool in parenting...




 




Quoting audreesmama:

I disagree completely. If you can't discipline a child without using fear and intimidation, you aren't a good mother at all in my book. I have no respect for people like that.





Quoting Anonymous:




 No...sometimes kids don't learn, no matter how consistent you are, or how well you teach them to behave. Sometimes one good swat on the bum works perfect. My sil is an excellant mother, does everything right, but my neice can be a real handful sometimes, and my sil just swats her once on the bum, and she straightens up real quick. Shes 4. I'm not downing your way of parenting, if it works it works, but sometimes kids just need a swat on the bum to snap them back to reality.





 





Quoting audreesmama:

Why would it be necessary? To me, that's a last resort. As in, your child has not been taught how to act and you don't know what else to do. That's a sign for help, not for spanking.






Quoting Anonymous:





 I do. I haven't needed to spank my kid, but I wouldn't hesitate if I felt it necessary.






 






Quoting audreesmama:

Discipline your children and raise them correctly. That will do them good.







Quoting Anonymous:






Women are so dramatic...I'm sure if a fly landed on their sweet little terror, they'd throw a fit about how that fly should be exterminated because it passed germs on to their child, and probably left little tiny fly feet bruises on their kid......HONESTLY! There is a reason everyone hates these damn disrespectful children running out having babies at 16, just to be on a tv show....spank your kids...it'll do them good.







 






 






 





 





 




 




 



 



 


 



 

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