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mom at 16, A total disgrace! THOUGHTS? (EDIT blue)

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

For anyone who thinks I am trying to make teen pregnancy something magical and perfect I am not. I am now 19 years old and my son will be three this year, We are not on PA, FS or any type of assistance for the past 18 months. My Husband is 20 has a job that brings enough to survive comfortably, no we're not rich but we rent our home, brought our furniture even if it is second hand and a little ratty, I am doing online schooling and trying to get my GED this year, I took the last 2 years off to care of my son because I do not like daycare centers and didn't want my son away from me. I NEVER go out, I have no friends, I have no life outside my family because I gave it all up! I love him, I love my DH, honestly I love my life and once again for that I am judged because I am PROUD OF HOW FAR WE HAVE CAME SINCE THAT DAY I MADE THE CHOICE FOR THIS TO BE OUR LIFE I am not proud of being pregnant at 16.

This is my story from my heart. Pregnant at 15 and a mom at 16.

A TOTAL DISGRACE

I want a car,

Get out of this place,

Tired of being seen as a disgrace,

16 years young I became a mom,

but to me its the best thing I have ever done.

I love what I have created that baby I hold everyday,

Of course I have had to change my teenage ways,

What I hate the most is my decisions are seen as mistakes,

People say hes taken my childhood and I have taken his faith.

He'll grow up in a broken home they say,

While I will be a welfare mom until my last days,

What people don't realise is I walked out that day,

I was going to pretend this never happened,

Have it all cleared away,

None of you would have known he even had existed,

That he was even here,

But seeing that black and white picture gave me tears,

I held my breath and shook my head,

I told me them to let me off the bed,

I held my moms hand and asked her to take me home,

I didnt want this, I guess she heard it in my tone,

I knew there was a reason that nurse turned the screen,

She knew one day I would dream,

Of the child I gave up, The one I thought I couldnt raise,

Even now the stares, words, the judgement put me in a daze,

I wonder what people would think of me if I had gone through with it,

If they had never seen his face?

I wonder if I would still be the family disgrace?

The family judges me, puts me down,

My mom stand by me and never frowns!

I hold my head high but inside I'm drowning in emotional rain,

They put me in the same catagory as people with an addiction,

Disgusting trash,

I dont deserve a crucifixion,

I am not dirty nor am I a whore,

I didnt spread my legs like an open door,

I didnt make a mistake, I made a life,

My son doesnt deserve the judgement nor do I.

I had a baby young,

I left my childhood behind me,

I was not robbed of a life,

I gave it away,

I gave it up for a beautiful baby,

And for that I am thankful everyday.

 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:49 AM
Replies (381-390):
pj2becca21
by Silver Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:29 AM

that was wonderful. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 62 on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:40 AM

Didn't read. Too long!

emilymartinez
by Bronze Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:01 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't judge teenagers to help me make the right choice. I empathize with others & realize that we are all human. You keep talking about her negative consequences, but she clearly made the right choice for her and her son. correct me if I'm wrong, but I didn't see anywhere where she said she was on pa & her sons life was awful. 


Quoting Dzyre1115:

 Making judgements is what we ALL do in order to determine the best choices for our lives, I just have no trouble voicing my judgements and my poor choice to judge someone else has no negative consequences, unlike having a child at sixteen.

Quoting emilymartinez:


Your "judgement" seems very small minded. You're talking about a person you don't know & her son. The op wasn't saying she is so awesome for raising a child at a young age, she was talking about people judging & looking down on her for the decisions she has made. You're making a poor choice right now for judging someone, you don't even know.

Quoting Dzyre1115:

 Poor choices have consequences, including judgement.  She's not a miracle worker because she is raising a child, billions have done it before her.  She is a child that made bad choices and is dealing with them.  There is nothing special about that, it's called life!  It's not a feat to make everyting turn out okay, it's her job because of her choices.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's just a negative aspect of our society that judgment is a consequence. Teen mothers take on a lot when they have those babies. Motherhood, finishing school, all the things that should have been easy are then a huge struggle. But they do it because they are mamas too. They see their babies and they are just as in love and dedicated as someone ten years their senior. Yes, she made a mistake, but why judge her negatively when you could praise her strength? If more teen mothers were given support instead of made to feel like they are less than a mother then their lives and the lives of their children would benefit.
No, I was not a teen mother, but I strongly believe society should be more supportive.
A mother is a mother is a mother, doesn't matter age, race or nationality.


Quoting Anonymous:

It's just like a teenager to think they shouldn't have to deal with the consequences of their actions.



Either way you had a baby before you were married, a college graduate or even had a home to take your baby. That's a mistake. And if it wasnt a mistake and it was a purposeful act then you're just stupid.



Congrats on the wedding.




Quoting Anonymous:

 We got married just last month and yes I understand the judgement but I dont think I deserve it



Quoting Anonymous:

It's a nice poem but you knew you would be judged when you decided to keep your son. That goes with the territory of being a teen mom.

Are you with the dad?








 



 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 63 on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:15 AM


Isn't it your job to set good examples for your kids? If your doing such an awesome job at parenting, you shouldn't have to worry about your kids wanting a different life for themselves. You should be proud of yourself for teaching your kids a narrow minded, ignorant way of thinking, that's much better than them having a baby...smh.

Quoting Anonymous:

For all you teen moms, BEST OF LUCK TRYING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS TO NOT FOLLOW IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS. And I truly hope you don't become a grandmother @30 years old...smh

And thanks for the example you set for the rest of our kids...you should be very proud!



Anonymous
by Anonymous 64 on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:32 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm appalled by the majority of the comments in this thread. I shouldn't be surprised.

OP, I'm sorry for the way you've been treated in a place that should be sacred for all mothers. The poem is beautiful.

im_2_xblessed
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:34 AM
To all the negative people who hide behind the anon sn......you are obviously ashamed of your small mindedness it's to bad that it doesn't come with a closed mouth!!
To all the moms teen or otherwise you rock because you chose to have God's precious gift( who is a blessing and NOT a mistake) I had my oldest when I was 23 and my youngest 2 years later...btw I'm a single mom.... And if you don't agree or have issues go kick rocks! I don't want or need a man to play daddy to my kids they have a male role model (and for you that have to know EVERYTHING no my daughters father is not involved in their lives he gave up his rights)
No matter what age you had your child you love them regardless of what they do.... If they get pregnant at a young age who the hell are you to make the decision of giving birth or murdering your grandchild and her child.(regardless of how she got pregnant she needs your love and support NOT your judge mental self righteous ass....) and you MUST be so proud to tell your friends I MURDERED my grand baby because I felt it was the right thing... I sincerely hope your able to open your eyes and heart and again realize babies are ALWAYS gifts never mistakes... If there was a mistake to be made it would be for you to think you have the right to judge those you do not know their stories...,or question their support systems.
COmom3Boys
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:38 AM

Love It! I was a 17 year old mom! Being a teen mom is hard but I wish you and your son the best! I am 26 now with 3 boys, married to my high school sweet heart, and doing great and I still to this very day get judged by family and friends on my choices to have been a young mom, but its your life and your the one who has to live with your decisions! Always follow your heart, its the best thing you can do! Very well said in the poem above, that is definatly how it feels to walk in those shoes!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 65 on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:59 AM
3 moms liked this

To the women who say that she was chasing boys, there are women out there of all ages that dont chase, it just happens once or a couple of times and pregnancy happened. Doesnt mean she was chasing anyone. For one she was 16, to be honest most start having sex around this age whether you think so or not. And to those of you who say she a disgrace, you dont know her. I understand she knew she would be judged, but we are all judged at any age for doing anything. I got married after 2 weeks of meeting my husband, was married at 19 to a soldier, had my planned son at 20 and have been married for almost 7 years now. I was judged because all of my choices. 

Im judged all the time because I might wear a skull shirt and have peircings and am pregnant with a 5 year old. Who gives a shit. I am a great mom, my son is super smart, we can afford for him to have great things and go to a private school and he has a great life. 

My point is, no matter what age you decide to do things, or accident, while you shouldnt be judged at all, you should be judged on how you handle the situation and how yuo grow from whats happened in your life. Not a stupid choice you made. 

BTW, I dont agree at all with a 16 yr old having a baby, but you did it and there is nothing anyne can say to reverse that. So if you can make your kid not scream and cry in store because he doesnt get his way. Or even at home you can disciplne like you should, then AWESOME, because that makes you better then most moms I have ever seen. 

I know you asked for it, but dont let these negative comments crush you in anyway. 

3JuJu3
by Platinum Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 4:05 AM

Your age makes it difficult, but it doesn't determine your or your child's life.  Take this poem and make it a declaration that you will make the best life possible for both you and your son. 

ruhappytoseeme
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 4:59 AM

love the poem, and as long as you always put your childs needs before yours BUT still finish school and go to college, and of course stay off drugs and booze you will be fine (I'm not saying you ever were on those things, just that teen years is a time many try things for the first time, wish all teens would stay away from that stuff, not just ones with babies ;) ) having a child doesn't necessarily mean your life is over, it is over as you knew it before having one, but of course a child can bring so much joy, love and commitment that it is definitely worth it if you are ready to raise one (emotionally I mean, and also have help financially since your still in school, im thinking maybe moms helping you out?) not sure if the father is in the picture but if he is I hope he is ready for this also. Ive met some awesome people who had their children very young, a few only 14 years old when they had theirs and those children are now well adjusted young adults and their parents did a awesome job :) but Ive also seen the teen moms who don't do good jobs, who end up losing their children, also knew some that didn't go thru with the pregnancy or gave them up for adoption. What is most important is to always put your child first (even if that means having mom watch them so you can get a hours rest if the child is colicky, sounds like that would mean someone isn't putting their kid first but really they are, because sometimes a mom needs a tiny break to get their wits about them (or to just take a bath once in a while ALONE LOL) any way will pray for you both and good luck :)  remember it is not always fun, it can be very scary at times and also a lot of work, but your right, they are a beautiful gift, treasure them always :) hugs (p.s. all my kids are grown, I wasnt a teen mom but I did end up raising them by myself for the most part, and I dont regret it :) the ups way too much drown out the downs :) )

 

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