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mom at 16, A total disgrace! THOUGHTS? (EDIT blue)

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

For anyone who thinks I am trying to make teen pregnancy something magical and perfect I am not. I am now 19 years old and my son will be three this year, We are not on PA, FS or any type of assistance for the past 18 months. My Husband is 20 has a job that brings enough to survive comfortably, no we're not rich but we rent our home, brought our furniture even if it is second hand and a little ratty, I am doing online schooling and trying to get my GED this year, I took the last 2 years off to care of my son because I do not like daycare centers and didn't want my son away from me. I NEVER go out, I have no friends, I have no life outside my family because I gave it all up! I love him, I love my DH, honestly I love my life and once again for that I am judged because I am PROUD OF HOW FAR WE HAVE CAME SINCE THAT DAY I MADE THE CHOICE FOR THIS TO BE OUR LIFE I am not proud of being pregnant at 16.

This is my story from my heart. Pregnant at 15 and a mom at 16.

A TOTAL DISGRACE

I want a car,

Get out of this place,

Tired of being seen as a disgrace,

16 years young I became a mom,

but to me its the best thing I have ever done.

I love what I have created that baby I hold everyday,

Of course I have had to change my teenage ways,

What I hate the most is my decisions are seen as mistakes,

People say hes taken my childhood and I have taken his faith.

He'll grow up in a broken home they say,

While I will be a welfare mom until my last days,

What people don't realise is I walked out that day,

I was going to pretend this never happened,

Have it all cleared away,

None of you would have known he even had existed,

That he was even here,

But seeing that black and white picture gave me tears,

I held my breath and shook my head,

I told me them to let me off the bed,

I held my moms hand and asked her to take me home,

I didnt want this, I guess she heard it in my tone,

I knew there was a reason that nurse turned the screen,

She knew one day I would dream,

Of the child I gave up, The one I thought I couldnt raise,

Even now the stares, words, the judgement put me in a daze,

I wonder what people would think of me if I had gone through with it,

If they had never seen his face?

I wonder if I would still be the family disgrace?

The family judges me, puts me down,

My mom stand by me and never frowns!

I hold my head high but inside I'm drowning in emotional rain,

They put me in the same catagory as people with an addiction,

Disgusting trash,

I dont deserve a crucifixion,

I am not dirty nor am I a whore,

I didnt spread my legs like an open door,

I didnt make a mistake, I made a life,

My son doesnt deserve the judgement nor do I.

I had a baby young,

I left my childhood behind me,

I was not robbed of a life,

I gave it away,

I gave it up for a beautiful baby,

And for that I am thankful everyday.

 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:49 AM
Replies (151-160):
lilmami316
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:40 AM
Not a disgrace I had my oldest DD at 16 and I wouldn't change a thing I'm married to my high-school sweet heart her dad and we are expecting our third in a few days :)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 21 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:41 AM
OK. You don't have to. I am living it!


Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah, not buying it.




Quoting Anonymous:

I am living proof of this! I found out I was pregnant, took accelerated program at school so I could work. We Got ourwn place and bought our first car (wasn't the best car but it was safe and ran) and paid all of our own bills! Our parents have NEVER given us money at all. Yes for the first few years we never ate steak or any seafood but we lived just fine in our 2 bedroom appt. We worked opposite shifts so we could be with her always. Our daughter did dance and soccer at 2 and continued sports and activities since. She is an honor roll student now and an avid swimmer preparing to be on her high school swim team next year. Let me say again we were never on any kind of PA.


We always had medical insurance through our jobs and have made it work and now we do very well! Lastly just to be clear our parents never helped us financially. The most they did was watch her when they wanted to see her but not because we needed them to!






Quoting Anonymous:

But at least they have the ability to care for a child independently. Like hold a decent paying job that can support said child, have reliable transportation (not mommy and daddy), have a home ( not moms home), actually out of high school.








Quoting Anonymous:

Some adults romanticize everything and are not ready to be responsible for a child at a much older age.










Quoting ToYnyc:

 lol teenagers tend to romanticize everything, cute poem but being a mom is tough and often a thankless job, sacrifices will have to be made and your baby will have to come first , i hope for your childs sake you are prepared to cope with the reality of being a 16 year old mom. Good luck and God bless.






Anonymous
by Anonymous 26 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:44 AM
1 mom liked this
But humans. .. all of us, you, me and her make mistakes... although her baby isn't a mistake, we sometimes don't make the best choices but we can turn them around , learn from them and move on. Our "mistakes" aren't what makes us.... you have Never made a mistake in your life??



Quoting SommelierMom:

Sorry, but being a teen mom IS a disgrace in my opinion, especially a young one.


la_bella_vita
by Bella on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:48 AM
3 moms liked this

 I was raised by a teen mom. My parents married and my mom got her college degree. I wouldn't say I was raised as an average child of a teen parent. I was given everything: Private school education, car, vacations and my college paid for. It's not the wiset life choice but it doesn't have to be a mistake and to call a child a mistake like some are doing in this post, is digusting.

-Mommy2Faith-
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:52 AM
1 mom liked this

very well put. :) i was a mom at 17 a month before i turned 18. i got married to the father 2 months after i turned 18. that was in 2009. in january 2011 i had my son. their father and i split up in may of 2011. we just simply could not get along he wouldnt help me like i thought he should and i had an attitude he didnt like. im now 21. my life is by no means perfect but my kids have everything they need and are well taken care of by me and their father. we arent together but we are great friends and would do anything for our babies. im currently 9 weeks preganant with my third baby. My children are excited. I am engaged to a man ive known since i was 15. Our love is very strong and we get along great. my kids adore him which is the most important thing to me. and he is the father of this baby. My ex husbands fiance is also pregnant 10 weeks. its crazy in a way but my kids are very happy and thats all that matters to me.

CodenameDuchess
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this
Making the choice to become a mother at 16 is a poor decision, no matter how you look at it.

I'm glad that you're comfortable with your choice and the direction that your life is going, but you still showed poor judgement by willingly putting yourself in this place.

But then again, I do not subscribe to the philosophy that "all babies are meant to be" or that our children are meant to be our own personal saviors. I, for one, would be absolutely horrified if either of my daughters became pregnant as a teen and would strongly encourage abortion. They deserve the best possible heat start on their adult life, not a series if obstacles and disappointments.

That all said, good luck with your life. I hope that you continue your education and opt not to have any more children until you're older.

P.S. Wasn't a fan of your poem; I found it trite and lacking substance.
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-Mommy2Faith-
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:54 AM
2 moms liked this

oh and btw i seen something about high school. i was in 11th grade when i had my daughter i graduated high school on the  A B honor roll. had a baby and a husband. its possible to raise a child and finish high school.

momo3fgr8tteens
by Ruby Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:14 PM

Its your life to decide how to live it.  You can't put the baby back so now you have to do what is best for everyone. Try to go to college and have goals of your own as well. Wait to have more children. You made some big sacrifices in having your baby. I don't think being a teenage mom is a disgrace but I think it is a bit unfortunate. Of course you love your baby, now give him the best life possible. My sister had my nephew at 19. She was a great mom and my nephew just started law school this year. 

SommelierMom
by Emerald Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:19 PM



Quoting Anonymous:

But humans. .. all of us, you, me and her make mistakes... although her baby isn't a mistake, we sometimes don't make the best choices but we can turn them around , learn from them and move on. Our "mistakes" aren't what makes us.... you have Never made a mistake in your life??



Quoting SommelierMom:

Sorry, but being a teen mom IS a disgrace in my opinion, especially a young one.



Where did I say I've never made a mistake?

ms-superwoman
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:19 PM
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