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mom at 16, A total disgrace! THOUGHTS? (EDIT blue)

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

For anyone who thinks I am trying to make teen pregnancy something magical and perfect I am not. I am now 19 years old and my son will be three this year, We are not on PA, FS or any type of assistance for the past 18 months. My Husband is 20 has a job that brings enough to survive comfortably, no we're not rich but we rent our home, brought our furniture even if it is second hand and a little ratty, I am doing online schooling and trying to get my GED this year, I took the last 2 years off to care of my son because I do not like daycare centers and didn't want my son away from me. I NEVER go out, I have no friends, I have no life outside my family because I gave it all up! I love him, I love my DH, honestly I love my life and once again for that I am judged because I am PROUD OF HOW FAR WE HAVE CAME SINCE THAT DAY I MADE THE CHOICE FOR THIS TO BE OUR LIFE I am not proud of being pregnant at 16.

This is my story from my heart. Pregnant at 15 and a mom at 16.

A TOTAL DISGRACE

I want a car,

Get out of this place,

Tired of being seen as a disgrace,

16 years young I became a mom,

but to me its the best thing I have ever done.

I love what I have created that baby I hold everyday,

Of course I have had to change my teenage ways,

What I hate the most is my decisions are seen as mistakes,

People say hes taken my childhood and I have taken his faith.

He'll grow up in a broken home they say,

While I will be a welfare mom until my last days,

What people don't realise is I walked out that day,

I was going to pretend this never happened,

Have it all cleared away,

None of you would have known he even had existed,

That he was even here,

But seeing that black and white picture gave me tears,

I held my breath and shook my head,

I told me them to let me off the bed,

I held my moms hand and asked her to take me home,

I didnt want this, I guess she heard it in my tone,

I knew there was a reason that nurse turned the screen,

She knew one day I would dream,

Of the child I gave up, The one I thought I couldnt raise,

Even now the stares, words, the judgement put me in a daze,

I wonder what people would think of me if I had gone through with it,

If they had never seen his face?

I wonder if I would still be the family disgrace?

The family judges me, puts me down,

My mom stand by me and never frowns!

I hold my head high but inside I'm drowning in emotional rain,

They put me in the same catagory as people with an addiction,

Disgusting trash,

I dont deserve a crucifixion,

I am not dirty nor am I a whore,

I didnt spread my legs like an open door,

I didnt make a mistake, I made a life,

My son doesnt deserve the judgement nor do I.

I had a baby young,

I left my childhood behind me,

I was not robbed of a life,

I gave it away,

I gave it up for a beautiful baby,

And for that I am thankful everyday.

 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:49 AM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:36 AM
Not to mention all the risks it is also putting on the child...

Quoting SommelierMom:




Quoting Anonymous:

 Can I ask why? what to you is disgraceful about it?




Quoting SommelierMom:


Sorry, but being a teen mom IS a disgrace in my opinion, especially a young one.







It shows a lack of morals.  Why are you having sex as a child?

It statistically skyrockets the chances of you never completing your education.

It raises the chances you'll be on PA.  Generational poverty is a very real thing.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:37 AM
That "philosophy" is a very wide spread belief that all babies are meant to be.


Quoting Dzyre1115:

 That philosophy is what causes children to make bad choices, there are mistakes in life and having sex and a baby before you reach adulthood is a big one, with big consequences for both the child and the baby!


Quoting Anonymous:


 


Of cause not, in that being said I would not treat them the way I was and still am treated by my family. No baby is a mistake and I will never allow myself to think of this path as a mistake.


Quoting Dzyre1115:


So do you recommend your path for your children?


 


 


 


Mommy0505
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:38 AM
People have had sex at that age for centuries. They were typically married, but still very young. How is that immoral?


Quoting SommelierMom:




Quoting Anonymous:

 Can I ask why? what to you is disgraceful about it?




Quoting SommelierMom:


Sorry, but being a teen mom IS a disgrace in my opinion, especially a young one.







It shows a lack of morals.  Why are you having sex as a child?

It statistically skyrockets the chances of you never completing your education.

It raises the chances you'll be on PA.  Generational poverty is a very real thing.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Junesmommy18
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:38 AM
Bump.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:40 AM
1 mom liked this
Poetry is therapeutic. You obviously have never read a great poet if you think they lack a vision of reality.


Quoting imacafemomer:

Teenagers and poems.. poetry gets you nowhere in life, doesn't pay the bills. I wonder how little knowledge of reality people have who pride themselves on the ability to rhyme.

SommelierMom
by Emerald Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:41 AM
1 mom liked this



Quoting Mommy0505:

People have had sex at that age for centuries. They were typically married, but still very young. How is that immoral?


Quoting SommelierMom:




Quoting Anonymous:

 Can I ask why? what to you is disgraceful about it?




Quoting SommelierMom:


Sorry, but being a teen mom IS a disgrace in my opinion, especially a young one.







It shows a lack of morals.  Why are you having sex as a child?

It statistically skyrockets the chances of you never completing your education.

It raises the chances you'll be on PA.  Generational poverty is a very real thing.



Centuries ago, women had no rights and blacks were slaves.  We're talking about today.  

Besides, it was possible for 16 year olds to raise a family themselves; today it can't be done without outside help, be it family or PA, and likely both.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:41 AM
2 moms liked this
I'm happy for you that you chose the right decision for your baby.

And I feel sad for you that your family treats you that way, with the acception of mom.

Why people care at what age you grow up is beyond me. Why does it matter to someone else that you had a baby and had to grow up at 16?!

What did you truely miss out on your teenage years?! Not much! Most teenagers are just getting drunk underage and hopping around to parties and sneaking around their parents back. The good ones are going straight home from school to do more homework and studying.

Yeah - you didn't miss out on anything. You GAINED a life. A child. A baby. A new love. A new life.

If you were a good mom these past 3 years, loved/cared for/woke up at night/rocked them while sick/educationally developed your child... than you accomplished more than any of the other teenagers did in school.

Now yes, their are poor mothers in their teens who continue to party and run around with friends and leave their baby home & thats the ones I don't like. You stop being a teenager the day you have the baby. Give that lifw up because you chose to make a life.

I wouldn't chose teen pregnancy for my daughter and I didn't have a baby until 22, but I don't think you are trash. I think you're a mom :)
sophiesister2
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:42 AM
Thats very good you should enter it in some kind of contest for writing
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
crazymeanmom
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:42 AM
1 mom liked this
Stand strong and don't let anyone get you down. There will always be that one but you can do anything you put your mind to.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:42 AM
2 moms liked this

 Poor choices have consequences, including judgement.  She's not a miracle worker because she is raising a child, billions have done it before her.  She is a child that made bad choices and is dealing with them.  There is nothing special about that, it's called life!  It's not a feat to make everyting turn out okay, it's her job because of her choices.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's just a negative aspect of our society that judgment is a consequence. Teen mothers take on a lot when they have those babies. Motherhood, finishing school, all the things that should have been easy are then a huge struggle. But they do it because they are mamas too. They see their babies and they are just as in love and dedicated as someone ten years their senior. Yes, she made a mistake, but why judge her negatively when you could praise her strength? If more teen mothers were given support instead of made to feel like they are less than a mother then their lives and the lives of their children would benefit.
No, I was not a teen mother, but I strongly believe society should be more supportive.
A mother is a mother is a mother, doesn't matter age, race or nationality.


Quoting Anonymous:

It's just like a teenager to think they shouldn't have to deal with the consequences of their actions.



Either way you had a baby before you were married, a college graduate or even had a home to take your baby. That's a mistake. And if it wasnt a mistake and it was a purposeful act then you're just stupid.



Congrats on the wedding.




Quoting Anonymous:

 We got married just last month and yes I understand the judgement but I dont think I deserve it



Quoting Anonymous:

It's a nice poem but you knew you would be judged when you decided to keep your son. That goes with the territory of being a teen mom.

Are you with the dad?


 



 



 

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