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mom at 16, A total disgrace! THOUGHTS? (EDIT blue)

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

For anyone who thinks I am trying to make teen pregnancy something magical and perfect I am not. I am now 19 years old and my son will be three this year, We are not on PA, FS or any type of assistance for the past 18 months. My Husband is 20 has a job that brings enough to survive comfortably, no we're not rich but we rent our home, brought our furniture even if it is second hand and a little ratty, I am doing online schooling and trying to get my GED this year, I took the last 2 years off to care of my son because I do not like daycare centers and didn't want my son away from me. I NEVER go out, I have no friends, I have no life outside my family because I gave it all up! I love him, I love my DH, honestly I love my life and once again for that I am judged because I am PROUD OF HOW FAR WE HAVE CAME SINCE THAT DAY I MADE THE CHOICE FOR THIS TO BE OUR LIFE I am not proud of being pregnant at 16.

This is my story from my heart. Pregnant at 15 and a mom at 16.

A TOTAL DISGRACE

I want a car,

Get out of this place,

Tired of being seen as a disgrace,

16 years young I became a mom,

but to me its the best thing I have ever done.

I love what I have created that baby I hold everyday,

Of course I have had to change my teenage ways,

What I hate the most is my decisions are seen as mistakes,

People say hes taken my childhood and I have taken his faith.

He'll grow up in a broken home they say,

While I will be a welfare mom until my last days,

What people don't realise is I walked out that day,

I was going to pretend this never happened,

Have it all cleared away,

None of you would have known he even had existed,

That he was even here,

But seeing that black and white picture gave me tears,

I held my breath and shook my head,

I told me them to let me off the bed,

I held my moms hand and asked her to take me home,

I didnt want this, I guess she heard it in my tone,

I knew there was a reason that nurse turned the screen,

She knew one day I would dream,

Of the child I gave up, The one I thought I couldnt raise,

Even now the stares, words, the judgement put me in a daze,

I wonder what people would think of me if I had gone through with it,

If they had never seen his face?

I wonder if I would still be the family disgrace?

The family judges me, puts me down,

My mom stand by me and never frowns!

I hold my head high but inside I'm drowning in emotional rain,

They put me in the same catagory as people with an addiction,

Disgusting trash,

I dont deserve a crucifixion,

I am not dirty nor am I a whore,

I didnt spread my legs like an open door,

I didnt make a mistake, I made a life,

My son doesnt deserve the judgement nor do I.

I had a baby young,

I left my childhood behind me,

I was not robbed of a life,

I gave it away,

I gave it up for a beautiful baby,

And for that I am thankful everyday.

 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:49 AM
Replies (51-60):
2_amazing_boys
by Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:42 AM
1 mom liked this
i was a teen mom also. pregnant at 16 had him at 17 and now he is 6. It changed my whole life...sure at times I wish I would have made different choices but I couldn't get rid of him. He is my blessing. Bbeing a teen mom was the hardest thing I have ever done & I am 23 now with another son. Your poem was great and some of the comments are just rude...but at the same time it is part of the territory. Im no longer with my son's father, but I know that I am the best mom I can be and as long as I have support then everything will be alright. Keep your head up and don't worry about what everyone says or you will never make it!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:43 AM
1 mom liked this
Teen moms take on a lot because they put themselves in that position. They have other options and there is a shit ton of resources for teen moms.

I'm not going to praise someone's strength especially when keeping the baby is the easiest option. Why would I praise her and glorify her choices? They were bad choices


Quoting Anonymous:

It's just a negative aspect of our society that judgment is a consequence. Teen mothers take on a lot when they have those babies. Motherhood, finishing school, all the things that should have been easy are then a huge struggle. But they do it because they are mamas too. They see their babies and they are just as in love and dedicated as someone ten years their senior. Yes, she made a mistake, but why judge her negatively when you could praise her strength? If more teen mothers were given support instead of made to feel like they are less than a mother then their lives and the lives of their children would benefit.

No, I was not a teen mother, but I strongly believe society should be more supportive.

A mother is a mother is a mother, doesn't matter age, race or nationality.




Quoting Anonymous:

It's just like a teenager to think they shouldn't have to deal with the consequences of their actions.





Either way you had a baby before you were married, a college graduate or even had a home to take your baby. That's a mistake. And if it wasnt a mistake and it was a purposeful act then you're just stupid.





Congrats on the wedding.






Quoting Anonymous:

 We got married just last month and yes I understand the judgement but I dont think I deserve it




Quoting Anonymous:

It's a nice poem but you knew you would be judged when you decided to keep your son. That goes with the territory of being a teen mom.

Are you with the dad?







 




ToYnyc
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:43 AM
2 moms liked this

 Its not a child's job to help mommy get her act together, mommy should get it together before she becomes a mommy. thats my issue with teen moms, its aways about what the kid can do for them.

Quoting dirby1988:

 I was 6 months pregnant on my 16th bday. Im 24 now and dd just turned 8. I think she saved me from alot of things i would have done if i never would have had her.

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 I am now 19 and my son will be 3 this year :)

Quoting ToYnyc:

 lol teenagers tend to romanticize everything, cute poem but being a mom is tough and often a thankless job, sacrifices will have to be made and your baby will have to come first , i hope for your childs sake you are prepared to cope with the reality of being a 16 year old mom. Good luck and God bless.

 

 

 

 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:44 AM
You didn't, but I'm putting that out there. People hardly ever talk about what they both did wrong, and only focus on the girl. I know I would be horrified if my son made a child that young.

Quoting SommelierMom:




Quoting Anonymous:

It's no more disgraceful than the boy that helped her make that baby.



Quoting SommelierMom:

Sorry, but being a teen mom IS a disgrace in my opinion, especially a young one.



I didn't say it wasn't.

Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:45 AM
2 moms liked this

 All babies that are conceived are meant to be born, but even an idiot knows how to prevent conception.

Quoting Anonymous:

That "philosophy" is a very wide spread belief that all babies are meant to be.


Quoting Dzyre1115:

 That philosophy is what causes children to make bad choices, there are mistakes in life and having sex and a baby before you reach adulthood is a big one, with big consequences for both the child and the baby!


Quoting Anonymous:


 


Of cause not, in that being said I would not treat them the way I was and still am treated by my family. No baby is a mistake and I will never allow myself to think of this path as a mistake.


Quoting Dzyre1115:


So do you recommend your path for your children?


 


 


 


 

Mommy0505
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:46 AM
It can be done today.

And if someone happens to find themselves in need of help, what is wrong with leaning on family? Or even going on PA for a while because of the sudden hardship?

Do you also begrudge "adults" who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant?


Quoting SommelierMom:




Quoting Mommy0505:

People have had sex at that age for centuries. They were typically married, but still very young. How is that immoral?





Quoting SommelierMom:





Quoting Anonymous:

 Can I ask why? what to you is disgraceful about it?






Quoting SommelierMom:



Sorry, but being a teen mom IS a disgrace in my opinion, especially a young one.










It shows a lack of morals.  Why are you having sex as a child?

It statistically skyrockets the chances of you never completing your education.

It raises the chances you'll be on PA.  Generational poverty is a very real thing.




Centuries ago, women had no rights and blacks were slaves.  We're talking about today.  

Besides, it was possible for 16 year olds to raise a family themselves; today it can't be done without outside help, be it family or PA, and likely both.





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WesternNYmom
by Platinum Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:46 AM

I liked it too.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:46 AM
3 moms liked this
Your opinion is totally invalid, I already know you are ignorant and close minded. I am not and I choose to uplift the people around me, not bring them down.
To judge someone is YOUR choice, not a requirement.

Quoting Dzyre1115:

 Poor choices have consequences, including judgement.  She's not a miracle worker because she is raising a child, billions have done it before her.  She is a child that made bad choices and is dealing with them.  There is nothing special about that, it's called life!  It's not a feat to make everyting turn out okay, it's her job because of her choices.


Quoting Anonymous:

It's just a negative aspect of our society that judgment is a consequence. Teen mothers take on a lot when they have those babies. Motherhood, finishing school, all the things that should have been easy are then a huge struggle. But they do it because they are mamas too. They see their babies and they are just as in love and dedicated as someone ten years their senior. Yes, she made a mistake, but why judge her negatively when you could praise her strength? If more teen mothers were given support instead of made to feel like they are less than a mother then their lives and the lives of their children would benefit.
No, I was not a teen mother, but I strongly believe society should be more supportive.
A mother is a mother is a mother, doesn't matter age, race or nationality.



Quoting Anonymous:

It's just like a teenager to think they shouldn't have to deal with the consequences of their actions.



Either way you had a baby before you were married, a college graduate or even had a home to take your baby. That's a mistake. And if it wasnt a mistake and it was a purposeful act then you're just stupid.



Congrats on the wedding.





Quoting Anonymous:


 We got married just last month and yes I understand the judgement but I dont think I deserve it




Quoting Anonymous:

It's a nice poem but you knew you would be judged when you decided to keep your son. That goes with the territory of being a teen mom.

Are you with the dad?



 




 




 



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:46 AM
1 mom liked this
I love your poem. I was 18 when I had my DD and I was looked down upon. I was just another statistic in my small town, everyone thought I would be a welfare mom and never have a good life. What no one took into account was the fact that I was living on my own, had a good job, car, and I had already outgrown my partying days. I was an adult in every way, except three dreaded number "18". Now, I'm almost 20, have a newer big apartment that I love, I'm now a sahm, my fiance makes 900+ a week, we have nice things&our bills are always paid. I have more than most of the people who judged me. I do not qualify for PA, I take wonderful care of my daughter. We are officially upper middle class in my area! And all of that came from my determination to not be a statistic, to show them what I could be. And I did. My parents, and the people who judged me, now ask me for money, and advice on budgeting! The only person who stood by me was my step mother and my mother. You can do it! You can have a nice life, and give your child a great life. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't!
BlessedBeX3
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:48 AM
1 mom liked this

 get off your high horse. shit happens and no one can turn back time and fix it. Every one makes mistakes, and  yeah, maybe ones mistake isn't as bad as the next persons, but no matter what its up to the person to move through life and go in a great path. teen parents dont personally effect you and the fact that you pass judgment on them so easily just shows your character in a bad light. Acceptance of other people is what we need more of, not harsh judgment and personally saying to them horrible things.

Quoting SommelierMom:

Sorry, but being a teen mom IS a disgrace in my opinion, especially a young one.

 

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