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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Have you spoken to your child about race?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Have you talked to your kid(s) about race?

Options:

Yes

No


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Total Votes: 380

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I was watching a CNN special that Anderson Cooper did on how kids view other kids. Almost every child (white and black) said that the white child was the smartest/good-looking, the black child was the dumbest/ugly. I'm a black woman, btw. The study wasn't the best, and only target black and white families. 

Growing up, my parents told me about the stereotypes and stigmas of each race/ethnicity. They taught me that even though someone has a different skin color than you doesn't mean that they are any better than you are. They also taught me that some people may not like me because of my skin color. (I've actually been told by a classmate at 15 that his parents taught him to not become friends with blacks or Hispanics; however, he still did)


If you're interested, here's the links:

http://youtu.be/Sm_CfET1Ffg (Parent reaction to child's answer)

http://youtu.be/EQACkg5i4AY (Children picking which child is smarter, dumber, etc.)

http://youtu.be/nFbvBJULVnc (Older kids view)

http://youtu.be/Sm_CfET1Ffg (Home influence on kids)

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:02 AM
Replies (21-30):
xtwistedxlovex
by Platinum Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:06 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

My kids are 3, 2, and 9 months. Too young to talk to them. Are we supposed to talk to them? We're white and I didn't think that I needed to say anything but I will answer questions when they have them. I thought that if I brought it up that it would possibly make them see different races in a different way. I was just planning on trying to not let them see any different action on my part towards any different race. (and by try to not let them see it I mean not do it. My mom is racist though and I worry that I might be a little because of all of her negativity that I grew up with.)

Toe the line. When I was 6ish my teachers made a huge fuss about this little Native American boy who was a complete JERK. They had me all sorts of confused, and kid logic dictated that since mean kids aren't special, but he's special since he's NA, he must not be any meaner than other NAs...thereby making all NAs mean. Took me a while to sort that one out.

Your kids are probably going to encounter people that lean either way. If you don't teach them, those other people will. IMO it's better to gently address it before that happens, so a) they know your stance and b) they know they can talk to you about it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:11 AM
My son had never seemed to notice a difference, when he started kindergarten there were a few black kids in his class and he had never mentioned anything about their skin color.
One day we were watching tv and there was a black family on, he turned to me and said 'ooh, their skin is all not normal' so I told him that their skin is normal, it's just a different color.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:12 AM



Quoting xtwistedxlovex:


Quoting Anonymous:

My kids are 3, 2, and 9 months. Too young to talk to them. Are we supposed to talk to them? We're white and I didn't think that I needed to say anything but I will answer questions when they have them. I thought that if I brought it up that it would possibly make them see different races in a different way. I was just planning on trying to not let them see any different action on my part towards any different race. (and by try to not let them see it I mean not do it. My mom is racist though and I worry that I might be a little because of all of her negativity that I grew up with.)

Toe the line. When I was 6ish my teachers made a huge fuss about this little Native American boy who was a complete JERK. They had me all sorts of confused, and kid logic dictated that since mean kids aren't special, but he's special since he's NA, he must not be any meaner than other NAs...thereby making all NAs mean. Took me a while to sort that one out.

Your kids are probably going to encounter people that lean either way. If you don't teach them, those other people will. IMO it's better to gently address it before that happens, so a) they know your stance and b) they know they can talk to you about it.


Now that I've thought about it I might need to start talking to my daughter (3) about it. We were in line at Target and she pointed to an Indian guy and asked if he was a bad guy. I was so embarrassed because he heard her so I explained that we don't talk to strangers but no he's probably not a bad guy. And then stressed again that we don't talk to strangers. I do know that she plays with girls that are different races when we go to the gym but she's never said anything. What do I say? What needs to be said? Some people look different but we're all the same inside?

crumpy_gat
by No. on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:13 AM
I haven't really, no need. She has grown up in a diverse area with friends of different races.
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momof2grls629
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:13 AM
Seriously? This argument again? I remember when I was in middle/highschool (12+ yrs ago) they were doing these studies and kids were supposedly saying that back then too. Biggest load of crap I have ever heard. Nobody (black or white) is teaching there kids black is stupid and ugly and white is smart and pretty. Come on! It's freaking 2013 for crying out loud. Can't you people come up with a new argument besides "whitey hates me and is trying to keep me down"? You all are your own worst enemy. You want someone to blame for the fact that you can't get jobs and be productive members if society, take a look in the fucking mirror and get the hell off my back and blaming me and all other white people for your own misfortunes.
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Glorianna
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:18 AM

Only when she asks.  (dd is 5yrs)  We have tried very hard not to mention race at all, even to the point of not using skin color discriptively.  Subsequetly all her friends are either "peach" or "brown" (thank you crayola). When she askd why she was "peach" and her friend was "brown", we said:   "Her ancestors [insert explenations about ancestors here] came from a place that was very hot, called Africa, and they needed dark skin to keep them from burning, so God gave them dark skin.  Our ancestors came from a place that was cold and rainy, called Ireland, so we needed light skin so the sun get through and heat us up on he inside."    Of course, this explaination led to this encounter in a waiting room:  "Your ancestors are from Africa and mine are from Ireland . . . but I don't talk like a leprachaun, cuz I was born in America, and Americans can't be leprachauns. . ." 

"Culture shock" is more difficult for her than anything.  She has a bigger issue with people who's live don't operate in the same fashion as hers.  famlies that dicipline thier children differently, or allow thier kids to listen to different music, or watch shows she's not allowed to watch, or use words we don't, or who don't pray at meals.  We've actually had to do a lot more work with her on "culture" than anything, because she will flat out tell people they're "not right".  

sjenkins8208
by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:19 AM
I don't think race will be an issue with my ds. Both of his cousins are half black and he told us the other week he wanted a "brown baby. Like Dylan." Dylan is his oldest, most favorite cousin, who is "brown" to my son.lol. It was very sweet and we had to explain that Dylan is brown because his daddy is brown.
Dylans dad hasn't really been in the picture and there was a time, around 4-5 years old, where he would say he wished he was "our color". It always hurt to hear and we all gave him love and told him he was perfect. He does have a little but of and issue at school now with being picked on. Some kids have called him "Oreo", these kids are black too. It's hard to see sometimes.
sissykay78
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:23 AM
No need to we view everyone the same.
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Glorianna
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:24 AM

 

HA HA HA!  I totally give this lecture to my dd.  (I don't use the word asshole *yet* as she's only 5).  But she  can be such an asshole sometimes!

Quoting Neuro:

I wish I could sit here and say that my parents gave me some inspiring speech and wisdom about equality and shit, but all they told me was "Don't be an asshole, if you're an asshole to people, you won't make any friends, no one will like you and no one will want to be around you" and "You pick on someone and you could be picking on the surgeon who will save your life in the future". That's pretty much all I needed to hear. Don't be an asshole, or no one will like you.

That did the trick for me, I could never understand why skin color is such a big issue with other people. It's just a color, really.


 

brandyblx
by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:25 AM

 This.No reason to teach them anything other than to love everybody no matter how different we/they are.

Quoting RandiBear:

I don't think we have to teach kids to love people who are different, I think we just have to stop teaching them to hate people who are.

 

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