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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

She is seeing her BM for the 1st time in 7-8 years -Update- -Update

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We tracked down my 9 year old's Bio mother and now we are in NY going to meet her. I want to sit her down and talk about her terminating her rights so I can adopt her daughter. I have been raising her since she was 6. We are meeting in a restaurant and I am going to try to talk nicely about it. I don't want a custody battle but I will fight for her like I fought for her sister. I want my daughter there so she can choose and tell her BM that she wants to be with me.





If she tries to fight I will get her for abandonment.





Please wish us luck. Will update later.



Update: I am sitting at the restaurant waiting for her. I did leave my daughter at home with a friend. BM is an hour late and I am nervous. I called her about 5x and it kept going to VM so I am going to assume it died or she is on the train

Update #2: It is 9:30 she never showed up. I left at about 7 and called and told her that if she still wanted to discuss I would give her until Sunday. If I go back home without meeting her then I will go to.court.
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by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 2:36 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 2:52 PM

She isnt your child and neither is her sister. Who is the Bio Mom in relation to you? How old is the Women? Does she work, Does she make good money? Is she a druggie, Alcoholic? Is she responsible, why did she give her kids up? Dont bring the kids into it. If your so called Daughter wants to go live with her then so be it. She isnt your child and you cant force her to stay with you. Most kids are mature at that age and YOU should be asking her what she wants over and over to make sure.

AtillaTheHun
by facta, non verba on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:17 PM
I asked my friend (she is an attorney) and she said any kind of contact between BM and the child could put the time of abandonment back to zero. Of course it depends on the laws in the specific state, too. Has BM called or contacted your daughter in any way in the last 7 years? I think you are doing the right thing by keeping the child out of this. I hope everything will work out for you guys!

Quoting AliKatAK47:

Thanks. I won't bring her. She can stay with my friend while I deal with it.



Quoting AtillaTheHun:

I agree with what some of the other mom's have already said for two teasonsThe child should not be there when you talkreasons. It could cause too much distress for her. If you want to get her for abandonment, the last thing I would do is give her the chance to meet the child. BM could say in court that she had just met her daughter and therefore there is no abandonment. I know the chances of this happeningr are small but some women will try everything...
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AliKatAK47
by Meanie Pants on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:20 PM
No she hasn't contacted. I am.waiting for her at the restaurant now. I don't even know what this woman looks like. I talked to her on the phone and told her to meet me at 5. She is almost 20 mins late but it might just be the NYC traffic or MTA

Quoting AtillaTheHun:

I asked my friend (she is an attorney) and she said any kind of contact between BM and the child could put the time of abandonment back to zero. Of course it depends on the laws in the specific state, too. Has BM called or contacted your daughter in any way in the last 7 years? I think you are doing the right thing by keeping the child out of this. I hope everything will work out for you guys!



Quoting AliKatAK47:

Thanks. I won't bring her. She can stay with my friend while I deal with it.





Quoting AtillaTheHun:

I agree with what some of the other mom's have already said for two teasonsThe child should not be there when you talkreasons. It could cause too much distress for her. If you want to get her for abandonment, the last thing I would do is give her the chance to meet the child. BM could say in court that she had just met her daughter and therefore there is no abandonment. I know the chances of this happeningr are small but some women will try everything...
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AliKatAK47
by Meanie Pants on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:26 PM
Her sister is my child. I adopted her. I am the closest thing she has had to a mother in ever. Her mother abandoned her with her father at 2 and her father left them with me and relinquished custody. Their father is my father. I don't know this woman or her story. I am at the restaurant waiting for her now and my daughter is with my friend.

She isn't going to leave the only mother she has known to live with a stranger. I am her mother. She calls me mommy and no one else. She is the one that is pushing so hard to have my last name and be my kid just like her sister.


Quoting Anonymous:

She isnt your child and neither is her sister. Who is the Bio Mom in relation to you? How old is the Women? Does she work, Does she make good money? Is she a druggie, Alcoholic? Is she responsible, why did she give her kids up? Dont bring the kids into it. If your so called Daughter wants to go live with her then so be it. She isnt your child and you cant force her to stay with you. Most kids are mature at that age and YOU should be asking her what she wants over and over to make sure.

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AliKatAK47
by Meanie Pants on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:29 PM
This will be my 1st time meeting her. I know that my daughter hasn't seen her since she was 2 or lesa. I am waiting for her now and I left my daughter at home.

Quoting Anonymous:

I wouldn't want the child there just in case she goes bat shit crazy. When is the last time you saw her?
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AliKatAK47
by Meanie Pants on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:32 PM
I would let her go. Its her choice. She is the one pushing so hard to be my child and bear my last name and be adopted just like her sister. If she chose to be with her bio-mom then I.would let her go. If I could promise she wont be left for 7-8 years again.

Quoting Anonymous:

what if the child says she wants to go with her bio mom? I know that the likelihood of that happening is small but just wondering.. what if?

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AliKatAK47
by Meanie Pants on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:34 PM
I have already decided to leave her home. I am.waiting for the lady now. She is late but in NYC everyone is late.

Quoting Crashly:

While I find what you are doing admirable, I think you should leave your dd out of the situation. You are potentially hurting her. She is a child and shouldn't be involved in adult matters.

Not to mention bm may want a life with her daughter after seeing her.
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AliKatAK47
by Meanie Pants on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:35 PM
I left her home. Now I am waiting for BM.

Quoting km1970:

 I don't know if having a child there to choose is in the child's best interest. Couldn't you have this conversation with bm without your daughter there?

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:45 PM

Good luck, hope it goes well for you.

Starshine-bela
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:01 PM
Hope it goes well. I feel that little girl deserves to be with you
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