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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

For those of you who think its wrong to be with someone whos legally married....

My moms bouyfriend is legally married. Him and his wife have been seperated for 5 years. Shes been refusing a divorce. He just filed divorce and hopefully hell get it if she doesnt sign I think it just takes longer that way. He left her 5 years ago because shes a heroine addict her oldest (not his) is 16 and a heroine addict. They had 2 kids together a boy 15 and a girl 12. The boy now lives with my moms boyfriend and hes fighting for his daughter. When his divorce is final they are getting married. My moms been friends with this guy for over 20 years. His stbex lives in another state. My mom and her boyfriend love each other theres nothing wrong with them being together. My moms best friend has been with his gf for 10 years helped raise her kids and everything. The problem. They are both legally married the guy hasnt even seen his wife in 20 years. The girl hasnt been with her husband in 15 years. They are both getting divorces finally and getting married.
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by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:23 PM
Replies (31-40):
Melbornj
by Platinum Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:47 PM
That is the truth. My sister has been trying to divorce for almost nine years now. Every time papers get served and things started he leaves the state.



Quoting Anonymous:

Depending on the amount of money and resources the person who doesn't want to divorce has they absolutely can hold that shit up for YEARS, sometimes even longer.



Quoting Aleta775:

I agree with Sassy. Even if a person doesn't want to sign divorce papers, they cannot delay a divorce forever. There are ways to get a person to sign so that it doesn't drag out for years. I wouldn't feel comfortable being with someone that was still married. 

Quoting Sassy762:

Right or Wrong.... I personally would never become involved with a married man regardless of  how long he has been separated...but that is just me




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jedwards2009
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:47 PM
I knew a couple in this situation. The man and wife were seprerated and katrina hit. He moved up north and met a woman and fell in love. He had no idea where his wife was, or how to even find her. After a few years of trying, he was told he had to run an ad in the paper of the place he last knew her to be to look for her. After a certian amt of time she didn't respond, the judge would grant the divorce. Two days after his divorce was offical, he married his gf.
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AmyL3469
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:47 PM

Maybse she's catholic lol

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:48 PM

 My DH and I got together while we were both married but separated. I don't see anything wrong with it unless there is no sign of divorce. We got married 5 months after my divorce and 2 weeks after DH's divorce was finalized. 8yrs and 3 kids later we are still very happily married.

Aleta775
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:49 PM

Oh certainly. I don't doubt that people will purposefully drag a divorce out as long as possible. I simply wouldn't want to date someone that is caught up in all that mess. I guess maybe I am selfish, but I feel like I've had enough weird and complicated situations to last a life time. LOL. I'm just burnt out and I don't even want to think about the potential drama that could ensue. No thanks. I don't have the constitution for that sort of thing. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I personally agree with you, but I can empathize with situations where a stbx is uncooperative and is only out to make the other persons life a living hell. It's not all that uncommon.

Quoting Aleta775:

Oh well. I would move on to date someone else anyway. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Depending on the amount of money and resources the person who doesn't want to divorce has they absolutely can hold that shit up for YEARS, sometimes even longer.



Quoting Aleta775:

I agree with Sassy. Even if a person doesn't want to sign divorce papers, they cannot delay a divorce forever. There are ways to get a person to sign so that it doesn't drag out for years. I wouldn't feel comfortable being with someone that was still married. 

Quoting Sassy762:

Right or Wrong.... I personally would never become involved with a married man regardless of  how long he has been separated...but that is just me




Angelanscalf89
by Platinum Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:49 PM
The STBEX wife is the heroine addict thats why he left her duhh

Quoting edelweiss23:

She lost me a heroine addict.




Quoting mariesmama:

you lost me at bouyfriend a bouy is what boats go around


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VannaMae307
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:52 PM

I was in the same situation. My (then boyfriend) was legally seperated for 2 years when I met him. She wouldn't sign papers. She finally agreed to it because SHE wanted to get married to someone else. So when she signed, we were able to get married. If they had just gotten divorced when it was filed he would have been married to her for only a year. That's why I don't judge these kinds of situations.

marie2409
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:52 PM
I agree with you OP, and I am very glad I don't live in such a black and white world. All situations are different, in your moms case, it makes sense.
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ArianEponae
by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:53 PM
Never? That's a bit harsh. My divorce has taken 7 years, so far. He's used every legal loophole and the military to keep me legally tied to him. Should I have just allowed him to control my life by waiting? Spent the last 7 years alone, childless and waiting?

Judgmental people like you should try looking from another pov.


Quoting Dzyre1115:

 There is never a reason to move on before you wrap up your unfinished business and there is certainly no reason for a person to have to date a person with unfinished business.  Are people really that desperate?

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AdellesMom
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:54 PM
Yep. Too much baggage. Lol

Quoting Sassy762:

Right or Wrong.... I personally would never become involved with a married man regardless of  how long he has been separated...but that is just me

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
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