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For those of you who think its wrong to be with someone whos legally married....

My moms bouyfriend is legally married. Him and his wife have been seperated for 5 years. Shes been refusing a divorce. He just filed divorce and hopefully hell get it if she doesnt sign I think it just takes longer that way. He left her 5 years ago because shes a heroine addict her oldest (not his) is 16 and a heroine addict. They had 2 kids together a boy 15 and a girl 12. The boy now lives with my moms boyfriend and hes fighting for his daughter. When his divorce is final they are getting married. My moms been friends with this guy for over 20 years. His stbex lives in another state. My mom and her boyfriend love each other theres nothing wrong with them being together. My moms best friend has been with his gf for 10 years helped raise her kids and everything. The problem. They are both legally married the guy hasnt even seen his wife in 20 years. The girl hasnt been with her husband in 15 years. They are both getting divorces finally and getting married.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:23 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:56 PM

Eh, I'm talking to my ex, we're still sleeping together, and I'm married. Our situation isn't so black and white, but once people hear I'm married they get all kinds of judgmental. In my younger years I would've cursed myself out and now I finally see things in a different light. This isn't the right thing to do, but it feels right.

themissheather
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:57 PM
My husband was married to someone else when he and I moved in together. His monster of an ex wife was refusing to sign the paperwork. He said that she was doing it only to be difficult and that he wasn't going to put his life on hold because someone else couldn't get theirs together. I didn't love the situation, but I was proud that he stopped letting her get the best of him.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
themissheather
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:58 PM
Oh, OP I hope it works out for your mom, her boyfriend, and his kids.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:58 PM
My parents separated almost 5 years ago. The divorce process was started but never completed. They've both been dating other people. Dad is on at least his fourth and Mom is on her second bf.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:01 PM

really the eyes of the law thing has no bearing on ones happiness. i would rather be happy than give 2 shits what the law thinks. 

Quoting Anonymous:

not in the eyes of the law it isn't

Quoting Anonymous:

I think as long as there happy there's no reason for you or your mom to ever feel like her and her SOs relationship needs justification. Someones always going to have something to say. . When a marriage ends between 2 people it's over regardless of what paper says.




Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:02 PM
1 mom liked this

 it's HEROIN!  I seriously doubt shes a heroine aka, female hero.... SEPARATED, not seperated.... 

spell check really can be and is your friend....

I could never and would never do what your mom's doing.... I find it appalling.... not to mention, I am certain they are less than stellar themselves.... obviously...

Quoting Angelanscalf89: 

The STBEX wife is the heroine addict thats why he left her duhh

Quoting edelweiss23:

She lost me a heroine addict.




Quoting mariesmama:

you lost me at bouyfriend a bouy is what boats go around


 

Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:03 PM

 No one is telling you how to live, I would never be bothered with someone that did not wrap up their previous relationship.  I didn't get into relationships to split my time between our lives and his previous life.  So I purposely picked a spouse that had no baggage!  I judge so I know what not to do and so does everyone else, including you!

Quoting ArianEponae:

Never? That's a bit harsh. My divorce has taken 7 years, so far. He's used every legal loophole and the military to keep me legally tied to him. Should I have just allowed him to control my life by waiting? Spent the last 7 years alone, childless and waiting?

Judgmental people like you should try looking from another pov.


Quoting Dzyre1115:

 There is never a reason to move on before you wrap up your unfinished business and there is certainly no reason for a person to have to date a person with unfinished business.  Are people really that desperate?

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:03 PM

it's so lovely to see marriage has turned into things like this....smh. "yeah my marriage ended lets not move on lets sue"!! ridiculous


Quoting Isaacsmom913:

Here's the irony--if the wife were smart, she'd counter sue him and your mother for allienation of affection for he is technically having an affair and morally that is wrong and she'd win regardless of her issues.  There are many reasons other than morally that you never tie your horse to a married man or woman.  You wait until the ink is dry and then do what ever the wind blows you towards.



KairisMama
by Emerald Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:04 PM
Both of my parents were dating their current spouses BEFORE their divorce was final. I don't find it wrong. :shrugs:
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TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:04 PM

Well, that's a lot of rationalization right there.

It really doesn't matter. 

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