what to do????

[mommabear8281]

I don't know what to do. I am asking for some advice... my mother is making me depressed. I have finally gotten back to my old self and she is taking that away...she is being disrespectful to me and my husband... my mom absoutly hates my husband for no real reason.... the reasons she gave me are bullshit reasons... see my husband and I have had our problems and I left him, we were seperated for 1.5 years... we got back together and things are going great... I want to make one thing clear MY HUSBAND HAS NEVER LAID A HAND ON ME OR MY GIRLS... this time he is more attentive to the 4 of us...he is trying to be a good husband and father....ok back to my mother she hates my husband, she is nasty to him... I have a hard time talking to people so I write to them instead.....I. wrote to my mom telling her how I feel about how she treats him... her comments are also driving me nuts... I did not ask her to be his bestfriend or lover.... I asked her to respect him and to stop with the comments......she wrote back to me.... she told me that she could and would not accept my decision...she told me that if I wanted him in my life then I did not want her.. I. Never told her that I did not want her...I. love my mother... I don't understand why she is making me chose between her and my little family... I don't know how to tell my girls that grandma doesn't want them....it hurts to know that my mother doesn't want me... I need my mother in my life.....

[Diamepphyre]

 She's doing that because she doesn't want to let her little girl go on to become a woman in her own right.  It's called emotional blackmail, and it's abusive.  Don't let her get away with it.  Also, you have the ability to choose to NOT let her comments get to you or pull you down, so use it. 

[mommabear8281]

Diamepphyre the thing is my mother totally hates my husband with a passion. She would rather see me alone. I am the only girl in the family but she has done shit like this my whole life....

[Destiny907]

I think it's blackmail too- are you an only child? Is she trying to "keep" you with her?

Bible says husband and wife must "leave" their parents and "cling" to their spouse- put them FIRST now.  You will have to be strong... tell you mother how you feel- Mom I love you and I really need you in my life, but.......... I love my husband and you know life must go on, children MUST go on and lead their own lives, raise their own families, so I will be devastated if you choose to not be in our lives, but I must stick to my husband above all.

I am sorry she is not handling this well.. part of her is probably very worried, too- that this time it would go like last time!  She will come round as she sees he is different, I should think.

[mommabear8281]

Destiny907, no I am not a only child... I had 3 brothers up untill 2008 when my baby brother was killed by a drunk driver...but I am the only girl of the family... but like I said she has been doing fucked up things my whole life...I honestly wonder if she regrets having me...