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I think I need to leave

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 5 Replies
...my bf. we have been together for about 2 1/2 years and have an 11 month old dd. there has been a lot going on; we are currently staying at my sisters until we find a place of our own. We have enough for rent and a down payment, we are just having trouble finding a place in the same town. Anyways, I'm not going to say I haven't been making mistakes either, but I just can't take it anymore. I work while he is a stay at home dad. I'm fine with that, because at the moment it's what's best for our dd. but when it is the holidays, he gets depressed when he doesn't have his own money to get me anything. I always tell him idc about money and as a gift, he can take me on a date/ spend a day with me just us as a couple. Where we live, there is plenty to do without paying. We could go to the beach or the park or anywhere. He has never done that. He doesn't try to be romantic anymore, and no longer pays attention to the little things. However, he constantly asks me to buy him things, or he will take my card without telling me. I frequently tell him he is cut off financially. Within 24 hours, he will start an argument saying I don't appreciate anything he does (like stay home with dd or housekeeping) and when he runs out of things to say, he starts yelling about how he's sorry he is a fcked up person and how I'm not the one with a dead mom. His mom passed away 5 years ago, and hasn't gotten any counceling or therapy which he really needs. He had a traumatic childhood and in result, is extremely depressed. He is sometimes suicidal, and has gotten sent to the hospital before. That gets brought up no matter what the argument is about and I can never say anything about it. Literally every disagreement we have had, has resulted in me comforting him while he cries. And I want to help him, and I want him to be happy, but I can't take it anymore. He has had a lot of warnings about how he needs counceling and things need to change and never once has it happened or made a difference. I don't know what else I can do. I'm not happy and neither is he and I don't want our dd growing up with us bickering or resenting each other. The only problem is,
1. I KNOW that if I leave him, he will most likely try to kill himself. (his incident where he went to the hospital was in November)
2. He will have no where to live. (my sister would still let him stay here till he got a place but he's stubborn and has too much pride.)
3. In order for him to have access to antidepressants, he needs his medical insurance which he only gets if he is living in the same house as dd and I.
I am posting anon only because we have a mutual friend on cm.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:23 AM
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Replies (1-5):
MeeshMom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:29 AM

Maybe you need a counselor or someone experienced with mental health to help you figure out this situation. I am sorry not much help.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:34 AM
I have asked him multiple times to go with me to couples counceling but he refuses. He says if we need to bring someone else in to help solve our problems, then it's a problem in itself. :-(

Quoting MeeshMom:

Maybe you need a counselor or someone experienced with mental health to help you figure out this situation. I am sorry not much help.

MeeshMom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:36 AM

I meant YOU go see a counselor. If he refuses to go at least you can get some help to get out of this messy situation.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:43 AM
Ohhh ok. Yea that's a good idea. I definately want to at least have tried everything. And honestly I could use the help.

Quoting MeeshMom:

I meant YOU go see a counselor. If he refuses to go at least you can get some help to get out of this messy situation.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:44 AM

I'm sorry hun that is a pretty tough situation to be in.  I haven't been in a sitatuon like this so I don't really have any advice so here is a bump for you.

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