Its sad the thought of seperation even occurs. But idk what to do. Ideas?
- 59 Replies
Ill do my best to make it short. But first let me say this, you may feel that this is womans role... but I do not.
Just had our first baby a 2months ago.
Hes not being a real father if you ask me. Heres why:
He hasnt had ONE night up with her yet since birth. I can count diaper changes on my hands, and bottles. And the little bit he has helped, ive had to make him, and then still hold his hand the whole time as to what to do. (its not that hard, if you do it a lot, it becomes easy... but it wont ever get easy if he dont do it!) I have to BEG for help, and when i do get it, its with an attitude and eye roll and huff and puff.
Okay so thats my problem with the her, Now us.
He stays gone when hes not at work. (He works 4 days a week 10 hours each) So he gets to relax a lot. infact, 6 hours out with a friend the other night. Ive not had one night out of the house since birth. Im catching him in retarded stupid ass lies..just little white lies that are jus t like why even lie. He makes an excuse for EVERYTHING. as to why he cant come home, why he cant pick up behind himself yadda yadda. His clothes go in the floor, he makes messes constantly like a teenager... omg. I could go on forever but i wont.
Finances: Heres the BIG pisser. We just had to move in with my parents. They have agreed to help us out get back on our feet and do what they can. So youd think hed take that opportunity (they havent asked but for 200 dollars a month for food expenses... where else can you live for 200 only?) and start saving up and get us on our feet right? NOPE! He blows it on so many leisurly things omg. its angering! Phones, rings, phone cards, cigs (sorry not a nescisty) beer, games(xbox) Phone covers etc. Thats just all this last paycheck. He should be acting like he aint got a dime to spend extra, until were providing for ourselves. Once all bills are paid, and we are providing for ourselves, then go spend money. And it makes me even angrier because he dont see that, its like hes okay with living with someone! Like he dont want to get us up and going. Heres what he says " i make money money dont make me, (or) its my money ill do with it what i please" Now he can buy all that for himself, but when i ask for vitamins and such for our daughter, he has an attitude. He thinks all shes ever going to need is diapers and wipes!?!
Okay so ya thats the main issues. Now your prob going to ask what all im doing. Well, what am i doing? Im being a mother. And we all know thats a TWENTY FOUR seven job. Not a 40 hour job with an hour break each day, then after work come home and sit on your ass play xbxo or whatever and be lazy... because you just worked and its your right. No your right is to be a family member and fucking help out. If i wanted a sperm donner, and a child support check id boot your ass and ask for it. Why is it, that he gets three days off a week, then also sits on his ass after work, yet i... (apart from late hours like this when all is asleep and i finally do have an hour to myself) get to work 7 days a week around the clock with no help or break.
I feel like he dont care for us. Like hes just didly dallying with our lives. Gah im pissed.
Other than that, I'm sorry you're having a hard time. A lot of guys are scared of babies, and I'm sure living with your parents sucks even more for him than you. Just trying to play devils advocate :) good luck
Quoting Anonymous:Start small and try to find some compromises where you can, idk he's just being really immature and there's not really anything you can do to make him change, he has to want to and until he's ready all it seems like youre doing is bitching.
How old is he?
Quoting LovelyCorrupt:
Maybe try talking to him and when he isn't working, do baby things together like bathing her and the like. That way he is involved and not scared. He may be covering up his fear with being a lazy ass.
Quoting Rust.n.Gears:
So fix it if you can. Talk to him and work on it. If he refuses that is his choice. You can only do your part.
Quoting britmichele:
I'm offended by your use of "retarded" as a synonym for stupid, which you also said, making that statement uncalled for, and redundant.
Other than that, I'm sorry you're having a hard time. A lot of guys are scared of babies, and I'm sure living with your parents sucks even more for him than you. Just trying to play devils advocate :) good luck
Quoting Anonymous:
I guess that's what I'm asking bc I'm trying to work on it.. by talking... but idk its not workig, and now my dad is threating to intervene bc he disrespects me and threatens to take her when how can he when he don't know how to take care of her apparently
Quoting Rust.n.Gears:
So fix it if you can. Talk to him and work on it. If he refuses that is his choice. You can only do your part.
are you ok with another woman calling your husband "hun" or "babe"