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Dominant/submissive ladies I need you!!!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Dh and I are trying to transition into a d/s 24/7. Do you have any advice on how to make this transition easier?
He is having trouble transitioning into the everyday life part. He is Dom.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 3, 2013 at 8:48 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 3, 2013 at 12:52 PM

Set guidelines

Shut up and do what you are told!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:45 PM
It's simple I enjoy pleasing him in all way. The sex part of it is fantastic when the pain is for pleasure it's amazing. I've always loved a little bit of pain. He likes to have control so I give it to him. It makes both of us happy. We have a set of guidelines and rules and if one is broken it's at his discretion what the punishment is if any.
Our problem is he isn't sure how to do it 24/7. I've been trying to explain to him what it means and stuff but I guess I'm just not good at explaining it. He's only ever done the sex side of things. Not the everyday life.

Quoting gypsy30:

 I've been reading about this a little bit lately online, even some blogs that submissives and doms keep.  Some aspects of it sound kind of interesting and intriguing, especially the sex part of it.  I like it when my dh takes charge in the bedroom.  But there are some aspects of it that I just can't wrap my head around, and I've tried to.  Like the humiliation things, and the causing real pain things.  I don't think I could ever stand in the corner for doing something my dh didn't approve of, or "writing lines", like I've read at so many blogs.  Or being hit with a cane or flogger or something.  And yet, I know there are millions of women who enjoy the lifestyle, so there has to be something rewarding about it.  I don't have an answer to your question, but I'm really curious (not judgmental) as to why some women WANT to do this.  What is it about it that makes you want to be a part of a D/s relationship?


Well, I guess I do have somewhat of an answer to your question.  Go online and look around. There are tons of sites that help people who want to transition into this, and things to do to do that.  One is called Subs helping Subs and has a lot of info.

gypsy30
by Bronze Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:26 PM

 I get where you're coming from, wanting to please him in all ways, and I think that's pretty cool.  From what I've read about it, it sounds maybe like your dh is having trouble asserting dominance because he finds it maybe difficult to do that to you, and I get that too.  But like everyone said, and I read it somewhere too, that if you two sit down and write some guidelines, it will help.  I remember one blogger saying that they started out with just a few in the beginning and, over time, they kept adding to it, which made it easier for her dh to take on that role.  Set a few, let him get used to enforcing them, and then add another one, and another one.  I also saw online some examples of contracts that had soft and hard limits included and what was expected of the sub.  Not that you might sign a contract, but it seemed like a good starting point, both agreeing on what would and wouldn't happen or be expected of the other.  As far as the sex goes, it sounds like you have that all figured out.  I know, once I did some reading about it, I wanted to try some of the sex things and it definitely spices things up.  Alot, actually.  And I get the pleasure and pain thing, and that's definitely interesting too.  I understand that better but I have to admit that my dh swatted me with a wooden dowel once because I wanted to see what that was all about, and it hurt really bad!  And he didn't even do it that hard.  But anyway, I think you could find a lot of help and advice on the internet.  There's also like conventions or gatherings in different cities that people can go to to learn more about it, and to talk to people who've been in it for awhile.  Be patient with your dh.  I'm sure it's a pretty big deal for him to transform himself into a dom.  Especially if you've never lived that way with him before.  It's a totally different lifestyle.  But good luck in your venture.  I hope it works out for the both of you.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's simple I enjoy pleasing him in all way. The sex part of it is fantastic when the pain is for pleasure it's amazing. I've always loved a little bit of pain. He likes to have control so I give it to him. It makes both of us happy. We have a set of guidelines and rules and if one is broken it's at his discretion what the punishment is if any.
Our problem is he isn't sure how to do it 24/7. I've been trying to explain to him what it means and stuff but I guess I'm just not good at explaining it. He's only ever done the sex side of things. Not the everyday life.

Quoting gypsy30:

 I've been reading about this a little bit lately online, even some blogs that submissives and doms keep.  Some aspects of it sound kind of interesting and intriguing, especially the sex part of it.  I like it when my dh takes charge in the bedroom.  But there are some aspects of it that I just can't wrap my head around, and I've tried to.  Like the humiliation things, and the causing real pain things.  I don't think I could ever stand in the corner for doing something my dh didn't approve of, or "writing lines", like I've read at so many blogs.  Or being hit with a cane or flogger or something.  And yet, I know there are millions of women who enjoy the lifestyle, so there has to be something rewarding about it.  I don't have an answer to your question, but I'm really curious (not judgmental) as to why some women WANT to do this.  What is it about it that makes you want to be a part of a D/s relationship?


Well, I guess I do have somewhat of an answer to your question.  Go online and look around. There are tons of sites that help people who want to transition into this, and things to do to do that.  One is called Subs helping Subs and has a lot of info.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:32 PM

When we started into it i found a chore chart helped. We broke down the chores that i had to accomplish each week into days...ie-vacuum on tuesdays & thursdays, bathrooms on Mon/ed/Fri, etc (weekends were for deep cleans). I would put 2 boxes next to each chore, i would check one box when i finished and He would check the other if i had done it to His standards. Blank boxes were if i hadn't done it or hadn't done it properly, X amount of blank boxes equaled a punishment (unless of course i was having an off day, i have some med issues that cause me pain, on those days i was simply ordered to relax)

Lalalie
by Gold Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:48 PM

Start slow. You have to build up to it. I'm not in a relationship like that, but that would be my guess. You don't want it all at once, then neither will comfortably fall in to it. Start small, build up, get comfortable in your roles.

Grumpylilpixy
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:49 PM

I am confused?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:51 PM
That sounds like a good idea. I'll bring it up with him and maybe we can work something out. Thank you.

Quoting Anonymous:

When we started into it i found a chore chart helped. We broke down the chores that i had to accomplish each week into days...ie-vacuum on tuesdays & thursdays, bathrooms on Mon/ed/Fri, etc (weekends were for deep cleans). I would put 2 boxes next to each chore, i would check one box when i finished and He would check the other if i had done it to His standards. Blank boxes were if i hadn't done it or hadn't done it properly, X amount of blank boxes equaled a punishment (unless of course i was having an off day, i have some med issues that cause me pain, on those days i was simply ordered to relax)

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:51 PM
Why?

Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

I am confused?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:53 PM
Thank you. That website you gave me had some helpful articles on it.

Quoting gypsy30:

 I get where you're coming from, wanting to please him in all ways, and I think that's pretty cool.  From what I've read about it, it sounds maybe like your dh is having trouble asserting dominance because he finds it maybe difficult to do that to you, and I get that too.  But like everyone said, and I read it somewhere too, that if you two sit down and write some guidelines, it will help.  I remember one blogger saying that they started out with just a few in the beginning and, over time, they kept adding to it, which made it easier for her dh to take on that role.  Set a few, let him get used to enforcing them, and then add another one, and another one.  I also saw online some examples of contracts that had soft and hard limits included and what was expected of the sub.  Not that you might sign a contract, but it seemed like a good starting point, both agreeing on what would and wouldn't happen or be expected of the other.  As far as the sex goes, it sounds like you have that all figured out.  I know, once I did some reading about it, I wanted to try some of the sex things and it definitely spices things up.  Alot, actually.  And I get the pleasure and pain thing, and that's definitely interesting too.  I understand that better but I have to admit that my dh swatted me with a wooden dowel once because I wanted to see what that was all about, and it hurt really bad!  And he didn't even do it that hard.  But anyway, I think you could find a lot of help and advice on the internet.  There's also like conventions or gatherings in different cities that people can go to to learn more about it, and to talk to people who've been in it for awhile.  Be patient with your dh.  I'm sure it's a pretty big deal for him to transform himself into a dom.  Especially if you've never lived that way with him before.  It's a totally different lifestyle.  But good luck in your venture.  I hope it works out for the both of you.


Quoting Anonymous:

It's simple I enjoy pleasing him in all way. The sex part of it is fantastic when the pain is for pleasure it's amazing. I've always loved a little bit of pain. He likes to have control so I give it to him. It makes both of us happy. We have a set of guidelines and rules and if one is broken it's at his discretion what the punishment is if any.
Our problem is he isn't sure how to do it 24/7. I've been trying to explain to him what it means and stuff but I guess I'm just not good at explaining it. He's only ever done the sex side of things. Not the everyday life.


Quoting gypsy30:


 I've been reading about this a little bit lately online, even some blogs that submissives and doms keep.  Some aspects of it sound kind of interesting and intriguing, especially the sex part of it.  I like it when my dh takes charge in the bedroom.  But there are some aspects of it that I just can't wrap my head around, and I've tried to.  Like the humiliation things, and the causing real pain things.  I don't think I could ever stand in the corner for doing something my dh didn't approve of, or "writing lines", like I've read at so many blogs.  Or being hit with a cane or flogger or something.  And yet, I know there are millions of women who enjoy the lifestyle, so there has to be something rewarding about it.  I don't have an answer to your question, but I'm really curious (not judgmental) as to why some women WANT to do this.  What is it about it that makes you want to be a part of a D/s relationship?



Well, I guess I do have somewhat of an answer to your question.  Go online and look around. There are tons of sites that help people who want to transition into this, and things to do to do that.  One is called Subs helping Subs and has a lot of info.


 

Grumpylilpixy
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:57 PM

Who is submissive one and who is dominant and who is trying to switch roles?

Are you a dominant wife trying to go submissive or is he dominant trying to become submissive?

Quoting Anonymous:

Why?

Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

I am confused?


I am a friend, a wife,a daughter but the best title I have by far is Mother .













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