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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Dominant/submissive ladies I need you!!!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Dh and I are trying to transition into a d/s 24/7. Do you have any advice on how to make this transition easier?
He is having trouble transitioning into the everyday life part. He is Dom.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 3, 2013 at 8:48 AM
Replies (31-40):
Piskie
by Silver Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:00 PM
The transition can be difficult, from a purely sex thing into a life thing. Try and ease His worries, ask what you can do for Him, see how it goes. It's a huge responsibility He's taking on.
I've had Mine 24/7 from the start, but it's the little things that mean a lot to Me. he brings My coffee, asks if I want a massage. They might be a good thing to help Him see that you really want it.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:13 PM
No one is switching roles. He is the dominant I am the submissive. We are trying to go from it being a sexual thing into a 24/7 thing.

Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

Who is submissive one and who is dominant and who is trying to switch roles?

Are you a dominant wife trying to go submissive or is he dominant trying to become submissive?

Quoting Anonymous:

Why?



Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

I am confused?


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:15 PM
So maybe just start small? With a few things and slowly progress until it's where we want it?

Quoting Piskie:

The transition can be difficult, from a purely sex thing into a life thing. Try and ease His worries, ask what you can do for Him, see how it goes. It's a huge responsibility He's taking on.

I've had Mine 24/7 from the start, but it's the little things that mean a lot to Me. he brings My coffee, asks if I want a massage. They might be a good thing to help Him see that you really want it.
Cheribomb
by Gold Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:20 PM

sounds like this is a sexual "fetish" for your husband and more of a lifestyle for you.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:28 PM
He's the one who brought it up about it become a lifestyle a not just a sex thing. I never mentioned wanting it to be that.

Quoting Cheribomb:

sounds like this is a sexual "fetish" for your husband and more of a lifestyle for you.  

LavenderMom23
by Bronze Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:31 PM

Since I veiw submissive wife to mean that the husband protects the wife's soul. He should do things like check your dress, is it immodest? Does he approve of how you spend time with other males? Or is it too intimate? And above all, dom. means as a LOVING not controlling spouse. So maybe he gets it better than you think and is a gentle and firm leader? If you haven't violated his expectations for holiness, what's the problem with him not doing anything yet?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 4:25 PM
Bump
Piskie
by Silver Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 4:56 PM
Yes... It's a big shift for anyone. Just do more little things for him... It'll grow if you both want it too.


Quoting Anonymous:

So maybe just start small? With a few things and slowly progress until it's where we want it?



Quoting Piskie:

The transition can be difficult, from a purely sex thing into a life thing. Try and ease His worries, ask what you can do for Him, see how it goes. It's a huge responsibility He's taking on.


I've had Mine 24/7 from the start, but it's the little things that mean a lot to Me. he brings My coffee, asks if I want a massage. They might be a good thing to help Him see that you really want it.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Clairwil
by Silver Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 5:10 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

Dh and I are trying to transition into a d/s 24/7. Do you have any advice on how to make this transition easier?
He is having trouble transitioning into the everyday life part. He is Dom.

Micromanaging someone can require almost as much effort on the part of the person doing the managing as the person being managed.

Break the concept down.   Write a checklist of things that COULD be involved in doing 24/7 d&s, from his caning you for not getting the laundry folded, to his setting a standing order that you may only go the loo on a minute that's an exact multiple of 5.   There are many different styles of 24/7 d&s - try reading some blogs and posts on fetlife, bondage.com or informedconsent.co.uk

Then both of you go through the list, rating them from

5 - big turn on

4 - possibly ok, could explore more

3 - neutral

2 - turn off, might turn out to be a soft limit

1 - hard limit

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:47 PM

I think being submissive is less about having someone else "lead" you into the lifestyle as it is about giving yourself over to making your spouses pleasure your number one prioity.

This is something that you can start on your own by being "actively submissive".  It's the opposite of simply being the passive partner and looking for someone else to tell you what to do.  With active submission you make the effort to anticipate your partner's needs and desires - even those he doen't know he has.  You'll be happier knowing that you are makining HIM happy.  In time, he can see the benifits of your efforts and begin to take an active role in continuing if it's something you both want.

I know it's kind of silly but this article "The Good Wife's Guide" (which many believe to be a hoax) actually has some great ideas about what I mean by "active submission".  These are things that you can incorporate into your daily lifestyle completely on your own.

Good luck!

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