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Going anon for this because I am about to offend the hell out of ASD parents

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Do you know that people with non-asd kids don't automatically hate your children?
Do
Do you understand that not every kid with a behavior issue is autistic? So stop trying to diagnose every brat with autism.

Do you know that when we ask questions about your kids it is not to bash you or your kids?

Why can't you fathom that people without ASD kids do try to understand you and don't hate your kids?

Why is it impossible for you to understand that we don't blame you for your child having ASD but if you refuse to discipline them because they are autistic then you will get looks. And its not beccause we hate your kid but because seeing a kid throw a tantrum in Walmart is bizarre to us

And if someone doesn't understand and is trying to understand, calling them ignorant bitches will completely turn them off to you and your child. So when people are looking to learn, teach them.

Why do you strive for equality for your kids by pushing them into regular ed classes but don't care about the NT kids. How are they equal if they get special treatment and take away from the NT kids?

This isn't a bash post. I am just super curious as to why ASD parents think this way
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:03 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:15 AM
1 mom liked this
I think ODD is non existant. Not sure about the autism thing....I've never met a child with autism.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:15 AM
Thank you. Your reply was very helpful.

Quoting CuriousArentYa:


Quoting Anonymous:

Do you know that people with non-asd kids don't automatically hate your children? Yes.

Do

Do you understand that not every kid with a behavior issue is autistic? So stop trying to diagnose every brat with autism. Yes



Do you know that when we ask questions about your kids it is not to bash you or your kids? Yes



Why can't you fathom that people without ASD kids do try to understand you and don't hate your kids? Please don't generalize. I have an open curious mind and can understand other people being the same way. 



Why is it impossible for you to understand that we don't blame you for your child having ASD but if you refuse to discipline them because they are autistic then you will get looks. And its not beccause we hate your kid but because seeing a kid throw a tantrum in Walmart is bizarre to us  I do believe that my husband and I are the reason two of our kids have autism as I feel it is genetics, but that is my personal opinon. 



And if someone doesn't understand and is trying to understand, calling them ignorant bitches will completely turn them off to you and your child. So when people are looking to learn, teach them. I have never called somebody an ignorant bitch. If anything, if somebody shows interest I try to give them the most accurate information I can but sadly nobody really can pinpoint much about autism, because of the variables. 



Why do you strive for equality for your kids by pushing them into regular ed classes but don't care about the NT kids. How are they equal if they get special treatment and take away from the NT kids? My son is in regular classes because he is too high functioning for the Special Ed, it would hold him back. There really isn't an "in between". His grades are modified. Trust me, I have issues that he is in class rooms with teachers who are not equipped to fully handle him if he has a meltdown. But he has a kick ass awesome guidance counselor who has been with him since he entered school and she knows how to handle and help him. 



This isn't a bash post. I am just super curious as to why ASD parents think this way. It sounds like you had a bad run in and I am sorry, but truly not all of us act this way. 


rosaleeandtwo
by Gold Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:15 AM
2 moms liked this
I'd be curious why you don't see that saying "why do asd parents think this way" while ranting about asd parents judging or making assumptions that we all feel something we don't could come across as a bit hypocritical.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:17 AM

My son suprised me with his 1st year of school he did well in every area of learning. sometimes he will come up and randomly hug me. after he had gentlly stroked my hair he ate his dinner, went to bed on time, hes not the same hyperactive little boy who barely talked. he talks lots now, and with imaginative play he has fun with his sisters, my son and his big sister slept over at his litle cousins house last night with his aunty and was good. speech therapy helped him.. his cousin was labelled autistic now shes been labelled gifted instead by the same people who thought she was autistic.

sheramom4
by Ruby Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:17 AM
2 moms liked this

We were at Kohl's a few weeks ago shopping. DH was smacked into by two kids (around 5 and 7 maybe) who were running around the store. DH is disabled and unsteady on his feet (he was using his walker). He asked both kids where their mother was and was told by the older child she had told them to "go play." They were across the store from her and DH and I escorted them back to their mother. He explained to her what happened, the mother got very indignant, pointed at the younger one and said "He is autistic, so he can do what he wants." DH's jaw dropped to the floor. We don't care if the child was autistic, nor did that change why we brought them back to their mother. Our nephew is on the spectrum and we both a big kid lovers in general. It was because one, it was not safe for two kids of that age to be running free in the store and two, they were running into people and obviously were not mature enough to explore the store without running and causing a problem.

This is the first time we have run into this type of attitude from a parent and it shocked us. Had DH and I been bad people we could have simply walked out of the store with these kids and the mom wouldn't have noticed. They walked back to her with us willingly and seemed to have no clue about not going with strangers when we escorted them back to their mother.

CuriousArentYa
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:18 AM

You are welcome. I went back and added that our son's are expected to act just like our "normal" kids and they are disciplined the same way. Sometimes if they are having bad days or a weather front is moving through we may be a bit more gentler and understanding but they still know the proper way to act in public (and home) and are expected to act that way. If they are about to have a melt down we can usually tell and take proper action. But our boys are high functioning, so it is a little easier for us. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you. Your reply was very helpful.

Quoting CuriousArentYa:


Quoting Anonymous:

Do you know that people with non-asd kids don't automatically hate your children? Yes.

Do

Do you understand that not every kid with a behavior issue is autistic? So stop trying to diagnose every brat with autism. Yes



Do you know that when we ask questions about your kids it is not to bash you or your kids? Yes



Why can't you fathom that people without ASD kids do try to understand you and don't hate your kids? Please don't generalize. I have an open curious mind and can understand other people being the same way. 



Why is it impossible for you to understand that we don't blame you for your child having ASD but if you refuse to discipline them because they are autistic then you will get looks. And its not beccause we hate your kid but because seeing a kid throw a tantrum in Walmart is bizarre to us  I do believe that my husband and I are the reason two of our kids have autism as I feel it is genetics, but that is my personal opinon. 



And if someone doesn't understand and is trying to understand, calling them ignorant bitches will completely turn them off to you and your child. So when people are looking to learn, teach them. I have never called somebody an ignorant bitch. If anything, if somebody shows interest I try to give them the most accurate information I can but sadly nobody really can pinpoint much about autism, because of the variables. 



Why do you strive for equality for your kids by pushing them into regular ed classes but don't care about the NT kids. How are they equal if they get special treatment and take away from the NT kids? My son is in regular classes because he is too high functioning for the Special Ed, it would hold him back. There really isn't an "in between". His grades are modified. Trust me, I have issues that he is in class rooms with teachers who are not equipped to fully handle him if he has a meltdown. But he has a kick ass awesome guidance counselor who has been with him since he entered school and she knows how to handle and help him. 



This isn't a bash post. I am just super curious as to why ASD parents think this way. It sounds like you had a bad run in and I am sorry, but truly not all of us act this way. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:18 AM
Thank you. I have never blamed it on a lack of discipline. I am very curious about it because it is becoming increasingly popular and I like to know about the things and people I come in contact with.

Quoting rosaleeandtwo:

Sorry I don't know any ASD parent that assume everyone out there are ignorant morons. In fact a lot of people are beginning to be much more compassionate and caring towards my son than, say, 10 years ago when it was less understood.



And my son isn't mainstreamed. In fact I had to move to change districts to KEEP the from mainstreaming him. Its just not what he needs.



And I have no problem answering questions or giving info as long as its not being asked with the completely idiotic stupid assumption that asd has something to do with lack of discipline. That assumption was cleared up years ago by people that actually study these issues for a living.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:18 AM

In my experience, ASD parents are super oversensitive so i just leave it alone. the other kids in my son's speech therapy playgroup are on the spectrum and I just don't talk to their parents about it, ever.  I just avoid it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:20 AM
1 mom liked this

Brat? Aren't you a ray of sunshine......

CuriousArentYa
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:20 AM
3 moms liked this

These stories piss me off. Please don't think that all parents are like this. My boys are very well behaved because they know there are consequences for their actions. 

I am so sorry that happened.

Quoting sheramom4:

We were at Kohl's a few weeks ago shopping. DH was smacked into by two kids (around 5 and 7 maybe) who were running around the store. DH is disabled and unsteady on his feet (he was using his walker). He asked both kids where their mother was and was told by the older child she had told them to "go play." They were across the store from her and DH and I escorted them back to their mother. He explained to her what happened, the mother got very indignant, pointed at the younger one and said "He is autistic, so he can do what he wants." DH's jaw dropped to the floor. We don't care if the child was autistic, nor did that change why we brought them back to their mother. Our nephew is on the spectrum and we both a big kid lovers in general. It was because one, it was not safe for two kids of that age to be running free in the store and two, they were running into people and obviously were not mature enough to explore the store without running and causing a problem.

This is the first time we have run into this type of attitude from a parent and it shocked us. Had DH and I been bad people we could have simply walked out of the store with these kids and the mom wouldn't have noticed. They walked back to her with us willingly and seemed to have no clue about not going with strangers when we escorted them back to their mother.


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