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Going anon for this because I am about to offend the hell out of ASD parents

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Do you know that people with non-asd kids don't automatically hate your children?
Do
Do you understand that not every kid with a behavior issue is autistic? So stop trying to diagnose every brat with autism.

Do you know that when we ask questions about your kids it is not to bash you or your kids?

Why can't you fathom that people without ASD kids do try to understand you and don't hate your kids?

Why is it impossible for you to understand that we don't blame you for your child having ASD but if you refuse to discipline them because they are autistic then you will get looks. And its not beccause we hate your kid but because seeing a kid throw a tantrum in Walmart is bizarre to us

And if someone doesn't understand and is trying to understand, calling them ignorant bitches will completely turn them off to you and your child. So when people are looking to learn, teach them.

Why do you strive for equality for your kids by pushing them into regular ed classes but don't care about the NT kids. How are they equal if they get special treatment and take away from the NT kids?

This isn't a bash post. I am just super curious as to why ASD parents think this way
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:03 AM
Replies (51-60):
DollJMW
by Bronze Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:33 AM
These answers go for me too. My son is disciplined even if I know his Autism "caused" his behavior he isn't given a free pass, he is taught the behavior is wrong. At school I've always told his teachers if his behavior is disruptive to the class I want to know about it. His teachers/classmates love him and enjoy having him in their class.



Quoting CuriousArentYa:


Quoting Anonymous:

Do you know that people with non-asd kids don't automatically hate your children? Yes.


Do


Do you understand that not every kid with a behavior issue is autistic? So stop trying to diagnose every brat with autism. Yes





Do you know that when we ask questions about your kids it is not to bash you or your kids? Yes





Why can't you fathom that people without ASD kids do try to understand you and don't hate your kids? Please don't generalize. I have an open curious mind and can understand other people being the same way. 





Why is it impossible for you to understand that we don't blame you for your child having ASD but if you refuse to discipline them because they are autistic then you will get looks. And its not beccause we hate your kid but because seeing a kid throw a tantrum in Walmart is bizarre to us  I do believe that my husband and I are the reason two of our kids have autism as I feel it is genetics, but that is my personal opinon. Oh and btw my sons are disciplined and treated just like our "normal" kids. 





And if someone doesn't understand and is trying to understand, calling them ignorant bitches will completely turn them off to you and your child. So when people are looking to learn, teach them. I have never called somebody an ignorant bitch. If anything, if somebody shows interest I try to give them the most accurate information I can but sadly nobody really can pinpoint much about autism, because of the variables. 





Why do you strive for equality for your kids by pushing them into regular ed classes but don't care about the NT kids. How are they equal if they get special treatment and take away from the NT kids? My son is in regular classes because he is too high functioning for the Special Ed, it would hold him back. There really isn't an "in between". His grades are modified. Trust me, I have issues that he is in class rooms with teachers who are not equipped to fully handle him if he has a meltdown. But he has a kick ass awesome guidance counselor who has been with him since he entered school and she knows how to handle and help him. 





This isn't a bash post. I am just super curious as to why ASD parents think this way. It sounds like you had a bad run in and I am sorry, but truly not all of us act this way. 




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momo3fgr8tteens
by Ruby Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:33 AM

Parents with children who have ASD don't push their kids to be in regular classrooms with other children. Its the law that they are educated this way. Look up PL 94-142 and IDEA and you will better understand this. These are both federal education laws. 

TrouserMouse
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:34 AM
5 moms liked this

 I see quite the opposite.  Parents with children professionally diagnosed with ASD and receiving different forms of therapy/treatment are much more prepared to handle maladaptive behaviors in public than parents with NT children.  I can almost always tell when a child has ASD because the parents tend to respond in a very calculated way.  Parents of NT kids are usually the ones that respond poorly and erratically or don't respond at all.

 

When you see a parent not responding appropriately, how do YOU know the child has ASD?  It is like you are trying to say that all kids that act up have ASD and all kids that act up don't have ASD all at the same time. 

Retrokitty
by Jasmyne on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:34 AM
And that's such a common problem. My brother doesn't have autisim (well he ha autistic tendencies) but he is disabled. Going through his teen year was hard with all the hormones and stuff. It's really hard to tell.


Quoting CuriousArentYa:

I have this issue. Our first born has autism and a lot of times I am scratching my head trying to figure out if certain things are hormones of a preteen, if it's the autism or just a combination. 

Quoting Retrokitty:

Oh I meant to add something like this! My disabilities teacher said parents would always come to him for advice. Sayings is this the autisim/down syndrome/ etc. and he said uh no that's just typical 10 year old behaviour. From my experience a lot of people mix that up.





Quoting Schleetle:

Well I'm not sure who you have been running into, but I'll just state my general feelings. I don't want my child treated differently. I expect him to behave, be respectful, and always try his best. He is capable (and I believe other ASD children are included in this too) of being just plain bratty - he's still just a kid. There is a huge difference between a meltdown caused by ASD, and a regular old fit. I don't excuse bad behavior, and really he's my most well behaved child anyway he almost never gives me trouble. I know that in general he has to work harder to do a lot of the things most kids his age are expected to do, but that just makes him a stronger person. I'm there to help him when he needs it, but I also push him to learn on his own. I don't typically get offended by questions, but the stigma around ASD right now does make me feel shitty if I think about it too much.




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CuriousArentYa
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:39 AM

This is the first year that he is not in a CDC classroom that is just CDC. He had the same teacher for a few years and we got along so well. My other two boys are in CDC classrooms also. All of our kids teachers know that all they have to do is call and we will assist them as needed. We have made many trips to school just so that our oldest son can visually see us and be reminded that mom and dad know when he is not being good. We stress to the all of the teachers that this is a team effort and we need to be on the same page. Even now we ares still good friends with my oldest sons teachers from previous years. 

My son is very popular as he is a "pleaser". We are actually a little worried that he may be a target for peer pressure, but we have talked to him. He broke up with his girl friend because she apparently is a "bad influence" and he didn't need that in his life LOL. 

Quoting DollJMW:

These answers go for me too. My son is disciplined even if I know his Autism "caused" his behavior he isn't given a free pass, he is taught the behavior is wrong. At school I've always told his teachers if his behavior is disruptive to the class I want to know about it. His teachers/classmates love him and enjoy having him in their class.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:39 AM

And do you understand that parents with ASD children aren't exactly as you have described??? Assuming things make you an ASS! I don't diagnose anyone with the damn internet that's what DOCTORS are for. You are putting every ASD parent into a category. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I am as open minded as they come but WebMD can't tell me what 1st hand experience can.

Quoting Anonymous:

You should be more open minded and do your own research. 


Rileyscute
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:40 AM

I actually don't want my son mainstreamed..he has an autism classroom at his school that suits him just fine. In general this doesn't apply to me because I don't give a hoot what most people think..and for the most part he never throws tantrums in public. Anyone that asks..I am more than happy to answer...so...

TrouserMouse
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:40 AM

 This is a problem that all parents have regarding children with various disabilities.  It is hard to know when they are being challenged by their disability or if they are just being hormonal, obstinate teens. 

The bad thing about kids with various developmental disabilities is that they essentially go through two puberties.  They go through one physically at the average time and go through all the hormonal changes and then often go through a 2nd one around their early 20's that is more mental/developmental.  This is when they REALLY tend to push towards independence or start forming into what will be their adult version of themselves.  Of course, this varies per child. I am just speaking averages over what I have seen in my field.

Quoting CuriousArentYa:

I have this issue. Our first born has autism and a lot of times I am scratching my head trying to figure out if certain things are hormones of a preteen, if it's the autism or just a combination. 

Quoting Retrokitty:

Oh I meant to add something like this! My disabilities teacher said parents would always come to him for advice. Sayings is this the autisim/down syndrome/ etc. and he said uh no that's just typical 10 year old behaviour. From my experience a lot of people mix that up.


Quoting Schleetle:

Well I'm not sure who you have been running into, but I'll just state my general feelings. I don't want my child treated differently. I expect him to behave, be respectful, and always try his best. He is capable (and I believe other ASD children are included in this too) of being just plain bratty - he's still just a kid. There is a huge difference between a meltdown caused by ASD, and a regular old fit. I don't excuse bad behavior, and really he's my most well behaved child anyway he almost never gives me trouble. I know that in general he has to work harder to do a lot of the things most kids his age are expected to do, but that just makes him a stronger person. I'm there to help him when he needs it, but I also push him to learn on his own. I don't typically get offended by questions, but the stigma around ASD right now does make me feel shitty if I think about it too much.


 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:41 AM

And then there are people with names like you. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes brat. Kids who are misbehaved, rude and snotty. There are millions of them.

Quoting Anonymous:

Brat? Aren't you a ray of sunshine......



CuriousArentYa
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:41 AM

We are very lucky to have a great support system at home and in the school system. Really the teachers and counselors are great. They just love our son (he is such a suck up lol). 

Quoting Retrokitty:

And that's such a common problem. My brother doesn't have autisim (well he ha autistic tendencies) but he is disabled. Going through his teen year was hard with all the hormones and stuff. It's really hard to tell. 
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