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2nd Update!!Help PLEASE! Why would he do this??

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Today I walked in on my three year old wearing only his underwear and taking off his one year old brothers diaper. They were laying on my one year olds toddler bed.

He jumped across the room when I walked in the room.

I asked him what he was doing and he said nothing. When I asked him why he had taken off their clothes he said he becuase they wanted to be naked..

Now in worried there might be going on when he goes to his dads house.

Update:

Damn damn damn...

I talked to DS. I asked him about what he was doing with his brother and he told me he was playing "the naked thingy game." I asked him where he learned it and he said that the T & B played it. (T&B are the his dads girlfriends nephews that live at his dads house). I asked him if T&B ever touched him and he said yes and that B tried to kiss him.

I called my ex and he doesn't want to do anything about it and acts like he doesn't believe me.

Now what do I do?

I don't want DS going over there anymore and I told my ex that. I told him that he needs to start keeping DS at his parents house until he gets his own place to live. He said I couldn't dictate where he has his visitation...

What can I do??

2nd update:

Since this seems to be a repeat question, T&B are 5&3. Also to clear thins up, only one of my oldest DS goes over there. My DH is my youngest kids father.

I'm going to proceed carefully from here. Tomorrow I'm going to call my lawyer first thing. I will also call his pedi and see if he wants to see him or if he knows a trama counselor that is covered by our insurance. I will let them take it from there.

I plan on calling my former FIL now and getting him on board. I know this is some what risky, by I know he will be on my side. The reason my ex moved to his girlfriends house is because she can't get along with his family. While we have our differences I trust my former in laws. I know they will always look out for my DS. Plus this will mean they will get to see DS every weekend.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 3, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Replies (51-60):
Jentily
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:44 PM


bathing together is fine and is fun .. as long as it is age appropriate and as long as both kids want to. The second one child does not want to, that is when you should stop.. 


Quoting Anonymous:

But it's not like he hasn't ever seen his brothers privates before.. They have occasionally taken baths together. They don't as much anymore because my younger son aggravates my older one.


Quoting Buggy979:

Maybe he new you would be mad cause he knows not to take it off or maybe he wanted to see his privates to are if they looked like his... I just think you are over thinking this...



Quoting Anonymous:

Touching himself is not a big deal. Wanting to be naked is not a big deal.





But taking off his brothers diaper and freaking out hen I catch him concerns me.












Quoting Buggy979:

Why is it when young kids like to go naked and explore their privates it always is someone fault? Either you go to a place if thinking a parent is sick and doing things.. this is an age when they are learning the difference between themselves and the opposite sex..




Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:44 PM
My kids never went through that naked phase. I don't understand these stories.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:44 PM
His dad ha a been dating the same girl since we split over 2 years ago.

DS was also doing the pet names too! But I just turned it around. When he would call me sweetie or something I would call him a booger head and I would make it funny.




Quoting Jentily:


does dad have a new girlfriend? or maybe where he is staying there is boyfriend-girlfriend ? 

My son is 8.. last year when his dad started dating his girlfriend my son came home after spenidng the weekend with them and he was doing those same things to me as well .. even giving me nicknames and stuff .. I felt uncomfortable and so I talked to him and explained to him that those are words you say to your girlfriend not your mom lol 


Quoting Anonymous:

Well see that is something he started doing a few weeks ago too.



He will go to kiss me and like linger. Or get this intense gaze. I didn't think much of it. I thought maybe he was being goofy or overly affectionate becuase I just had another baby.







Quoting BEXi:

Sounds like a curious stage IMO.


I would be more concerned with a child trying to be overly affectionate, like adult like kissing or touching.







Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:44 PM
His dad ha a been dating the same girl since we split over 2 years ago.

DS was also doing the pet names too! But I just turned it around. When he would call me sweetie or something I would call him a booger head and I would make it funny.




Quoting Jentily:


does dad have a new girlfriend? or maybe where he is staying there is boyfriend-girlfriend ? 

My son is 8.. last year when his dad started dating his girlfriend my son came home after spenidng the weekend with them and he was doing those same things to me as well .. even giving me nicknames and stuff .. I felt uncomfortable and so I talked to him and explained to him that those are words you say to your girlfriend not your mom lol 


Quoting Anonymous:

Well see that is something he started doing a few weeks ago too.



He will go to kiss me and like linger. Or get this intense gaze. I didn't think much of it. I thought maybe he was being goofy or overly affectionate becuase I just had another baby.







Quoting BEXi:

Sounds like a curious stage IMO.


I would be more concerned with a child trying to be overly affectionate, like adult like kissing or touching.







Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:46 PM
When my older DS asked to take a bath by himself I let him. They go to bed at different times anyways.


Quoting Jentily:


bathing together is fine and is fun .. as long as it is age appropriate and as long as both kids want to. The second one child does not want to, that is when you should stop.. 



Quoting Anonymous:

But it's not like he hasn't ever seen his brothers privates before.. They have occasionally taken baths together. They don't as much anymore because my younger son aggravates my older one.





Quoting Buggy979:

Maybe he new you would be mad cause he knows not to take it off or maybe he wanted to see his privates to are if they looked like his... I just think you are over thinking this...





Quoting Anonymous:

Touching himself is not a big deal. Wanting to be naked is not a big deal.







But taking off his brothers diaper and freaking out hen I catch him concerns me.

















Quoting Buggy979:

Why is it when young kids like to go naked and explore their privates it always is someone fault? Either you go to a place if thinking a parent is sick and doing things.. this is an age when they are learning the difference between themselves and the opposite sex..








bikerlady007
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:48 PM
3 moms liked this

That must be a scary thing for you to walk in on.  Remember that kids are curious and go through all kinds of stages - try to never 'freak out' in any of your reactions with your kids, that could give them the idea that they are doing something wrong, or that they have to keep certain things from you, to protect you from freaking out.

To all the ladies out there, please, get on your state sex offender page on line.  There are wonderful tips on how to talk to your children, how to teach your children to avoid risky situations, and most importantly, you can see photographs of all the sex offenders in your area.  Now please, don't turn this into a witch hunt - be sensible - look at the dates of the offence, the age of the offender, and the age of the victim.  If it was a victim under 16 and the offender was 18 at the time of the offence, it could have been a boyfriend/girlfriend thing that parents freaked about, and now that boy is on the register for life (think if it were your son) - use common sense.  You have to agree to not go on a witch hunt to gain access anyway. 

I would also advise signing up for the email updates  for when someone new moves near your home or your kids' school.  For all the single moms out there, please check any guy you're even thinking of dating. Remember, they are very good at being charming, that's how they lure people in.

sugareemommee
by Ruby Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:48 PM
My kids strip down on a daily basis.

But I am completely aware of everything that goes on in my home so it's not worrying to me..
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:48 PM
They are 5&3 I think..,


Quoting Jentily:


how old are the boys he is sleeping with? It may be all innocent children exploring, but I completely understand your concern and why you wouldn't want that going on. 

I am sure there is books.. you just need to explain things in a simple way with not very many words. And you have to say it more than once. 

There may also be adults fooling around sexually and your son is seeing this ... idk ..you might know more. 


Quoting Anonymous:

From what I've been told when Ds is over there he sleeps on the trundle bed in the boys room. The boys have two bunk beds an one has a trundle under it. Sometimes though the other boys arent there becuase they are with their dad. Also they play alot alone with grown up checking on them every so often.



I wonder if there is some kind of toddler appropriate book that can help with this conversation?





Quoting Jentily:


Yep, this is a good age to start talking to him about personal space. Start teaching he only takes his clothes off when he alone or with you. You should tell him that only him you and daddy can see his peepee and only HE touches it. You should also ask him if anyone has taken his clothes off or asked him to .. tell him that if someone does it is wrong and he should tell you right away. 

When children are that young they don't know how wrong it is... they cant think that deep. They know it's wrong (human nature) but they don't know why it's wrong..kwim?

but also, don't make him feel like a monster for what he did. because he is only 3 so he is very innocent... 

And I would ask dad questions as per the sleeping arrangements and where the children play.. who is supervising the children while they are playing ... stuff like that .. 




Quoting Anonymous:

He is three and half.











Quoting Jentily:


I agree with you.. The fact that he stopped and jumped away tells me that he knew what he was doing was wrong... how old is your son?




Quoting Anonymous:

It is not the fact that h was naked that bothers me. It is the fact that he was taking off his brothers clothes and stopped the moment I came in the room.











Quoting silverdawn99:

Just tell him that he is a big boy and too big to run around naked




And explain that only mommy and daddy and the doctor need to see his peepee










Quoting Anonymous:

What should I say?















Quoting silverdawn99:

It sounds like he wanted to play the naked game






Have a little talk with him


























ToYnyc
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:49 PM

 children are naturally curious, try showing him an age appropriate book explaining body parts.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:49 PM

 my 5 yr old had this thing where he was going in the ack of his ittle brother and tried grinding on him. Kids are weird at that age and you just need to sit and talk to him that its not ok. It worked for my son and he disnt do it again.

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