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I demoted my sister from MOH to bridesmaid UPDATE UPDATE 2

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Why? Because my wedding is 3 months away and she hasn't done anything. I'm really not being petty. I have to remind her to do everything, she didn't invite any of my SO's family to my wedding shower, the people she did invite she put their name in the "for" instead of mine, his family thinks I forgot about them now or I'm stupid and can't fill out an invite, every one offered to help her (me and my bridesmaids) she asked her friends to help her instead, she "forgot" to tell the bridesmaids about dress orders now they won't get their dresses until about a month before they wedding.







There is A LOT more but that was just the last 2 weeks.



She told my mom she did a bunch of stuff she didn't do (I have evidence) and my mom called me all sorts of names. So whatever anyone wants to bash me about my own mother has already.







Then my mom (after believing all of my sister's lies) asked MY SO who's side he was on and then talked shit about me to him.







Vent over. Bash away. I do feel bad about replacing her but I honestly believe she wasn't ready for this. My SO (and everyone else) told me to replace her months ago but she is my sister, I defended her for so long but I do not have time to fix everything she messed up or will mess up.





UPDATE: I have questions to answer. My sister offered to do the dress orders. I insisted that I did them but my sister cried to my mom and my mom texted me calling me a controlling bride-zilla. So I backed off. A lot of things I backed off from, it was slowly turning into my sister and mom's wedding. When I would step in, I was called names and my sister would cry.





New MOH is my SO's cousin and my friend of 10 years. We met at her wedding. She is who I wanted in the first place but again my mom was mean and my sister cried.





Those of you who do not agree with me, I still respect your opinion and thank you for taking the time to read my post.





Those of you who are being supportive, thank you. It does mean a lot to me even if I can't thank you all personally.







UPDATE 2: as the goes on I'm starting to find out more and more. My sister is ignoring me and SO asked if he could talk to her, my sister said "as long as it's not about what I did or didn't do" why is she avoiding the questions? Because this is what she has all our lives when she lies.



I'm even more mad she lied to me than anything else if she had done nothing and not lied about it she would still be MOH.



She wrote the new MOH a long letter and it's true she didn't do anything. She said "I just gave the invites to the main people and hoped word of mouth spread". Also, she was going hand out bachelorette party invites at the wedding shower. New MOH said a lot of her "ideas" were half baked and there is no way she could have pulled it off.
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by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 6:43 PM
Replies (111-120):
elliem87
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:44 AM
Thank you. My mom would probably say oh you had time do this packet but not help your sister


Quoting helema24:

 ty. my wedding was different than the weddings i grew up seeing so it threw me for a loop. my dad was still a goober about "signing" me away (contract wedding due to faith). btw op id tell them both simmer down or neither are invited and give a packet of proof that your sister did virtually nothing!!


Quoting opal10161973:


Best man. 


Quoting helema24:


 she wa sthe moh and as a moh she should of dont everything save your dress and cake (just making sure the order is all set after the bride tastes) and decide on the location for the bridal party just as the grooms first man (blonde moment on the name for him) is to make sure the grooms party is all lined up.




 


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malexander2009
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:51 AM
1 mom liked this

 I don't blame you I would have done it alot sooner.

LilliesValley
by Ruby Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:55 AM
1 mom liked this
Your mom and sister need to step back. Not their wedding. If they want one they need to get married. If I got called a btidezilla about the dress thing I would have gone off. Mom or not wouldn't matter. I'd lay it all out there and let them know that if they have problems with your decisions they dont need to come.
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flowerfunleah
by Leah on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:02 PM
1 mom liked this

When I was getting married I had to remove my MOH completely out of my wedding and she was my best friend! She didn't plan anything and refused to buy the dress I requested her to get because she "didn't" have any money yet she could go out to eat all the time. We've since reconciled and I think she feels really bad abut her actions all those years ago. I had my SIL as my MOH instead. 

Raeann11
by Ruby Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:05 PM

I didn't expect my Maid of honor to do a thing. It was my wedding and my responsibility. Yes she did offer to help and yes she was only 16 years old. But really I was happy to have her as my maid of honor and be there for us.

helema24
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:13 PM

 yuh your mom sounds like a real peach. tell your sister to either put on he rbig girl panties and admit she didnt do the things she says she did or shes out of the wedding all together. it may seem harsh but it sounds like she will only get worse AND take away the attention you and your husband are entitled to on your wedding day. you can never get that moment in time back if she does. yes there are redos but why would you have to do that when you can remove the problem.

Quoting elliem87:

Thank you. My mom would probably say oh you had time do this packet but not help your sister


Quoting helema24:

 ty. my wedding was different than the weddings i grew up seeing so it threw me for a loop. my dad was still a goober about "signing" me away (contract wedding due to faith). btw op id tell them both simmer down or neither are invited and give a packet of proof that your sister did virtually nothing!!


Quoting opal10161973:


Best man. 


Quoting helema24:


 she wa sthe moh and as a moh she should of dont everything save your dress and cake (just making sure the order is all set after the bride tastes) and decide on the location for the bridal party just as the grooms first man (blonde moment on the name for him) is to make sure the grooms party is all lined up.




 


 

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elliem87
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:28 PM
Yea they are a good time. Thank you for your support


Quoting helema24:

 yuh your mom sounds like a real peach. tell your sister to either put on he rbig girl panties and admit she didnt do the things she says she did or shes out of the wedding all together. it may seem harsh but it sounds like she will only get worse AND take away the attention you and your husband are entitled to on your wedding day. you can never get that moment in time back if she does. yes there are redos but why would you have to do that when you can remove the problem.


Quoting elliem87:

Thank you. My mom would probably say oh you had time do this packet but not help your sister



Quoting helema24:


 ty. my wedding was different than the weddings i grew up seeing so it threw me for a loop. my dad was still a goober about "signing" me away (contract wedding due to faith). btw op id tell them both simmer down or neither are invited and give a packet of proof that your sister did virtually nothing!!



Quoting opal10161973:



Best man. 



Quoting helema24:



 she wa sthe moh and as a moh she should of dont everything save your dress and cake (just making sure the order is all set after the bride tastes) and decide on the location for the bridal party just as the grooms first man (blonde moment on the name for him) is to make sure the grooms party is all lined up.






 



 


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mrssummerlin
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:35 PM
1 mom liked this
I would've replaced her long ago.
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supercarp
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:49 PM

You are right. Brides and mothers of the bride do not throw showers. Aunts, friends and bridesmaids do that. 


Quoting Anonymous:

When the moh accepts that position they agree to throw a shower as well as helps the bride the bride doesn't have to do everything and its tacky for a bride to throw her own shower its "begging" for money or so I've been told

Quoting Anonymous:

Its YOUR wedding is it not? Shouldnt YOU be doing the work?


 

Aleta775
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Your mom is a bitch and your sister is an irresponsible cry baby. From now on, just do things your way and let them bitch about it as much as they want and IGNORE them. This is your wedding and your special day. Stand up to them and don't let them push you around. 

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