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I demoted my sister from MOH to bridesmaid UPDATE UPDATE 2

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Why? Because my wedding is 3 months away and she hasn't done anything. I'm really not being petty. I have to remind her to do everything, she didn't invite any of my SO's family to my wedding shower, the people she did invite she put their name in the "for" instead of mine, his family thinks I forgot about them now or I'm stupid and can't fill out an invite, every one offered to help her (me and my bridesmaids) she asked her friends to help her instead, she "forgot" to tell the bridesmaids about dress orders now they won't get their dresses until about a month before they wedding.







There is A LOT more but that was just the last 2 weeks.



She told my mom she did a bunch of stuff she didn't do (I have evidence) and my mom called me all sorts of names. So whatever anyone wants to bash me about my own mother has already.







Then my mom (after believing all of my sister's lies) asked MY SO who's side he was on and then talked shit about me to him.







Vent over. Bash away. I do feel bad about replacing her but I honestly believe she wasn't ready for this. My SO (and everyone else) told me to replace her months ago but she is my sister, I defended her for so long but I do not have time to fix everything she messed up or will mess up.





UPDATE: I have questions to answer. My sister offered to do the dress orders. I insisted that I did them but my sister cried to my mom and my mom texted me calling me a controlling bride-zilla. So I backed off. A lot of things I backed off from, it was slowly turning into my sister and mom's wedding. When I would step in, I was called names and my sister would cry.





New MOH is my SO's cousin and my friend of 10 years. We met at her wedding. She is who I wanted in the first place but again my mom was mean and my sister cried.





Those of you who do not agree with me, I still respect your opinion and thank you for taking the time to read my post.





Those of you who are being supportive, thank you. It does mean a lot to me even if I can't thank you all personally.







UPDATE 2: as the goes on I'm starting to find out more and more. My sister is ignoring me and SO asked if he could talk to her, my sister said "as long as it's not about what I did or didn't do" why is she avoiding the questions? Because this is what she has all our lives when she lies.



I'm even more mad she lied to me than anything else if she had done nothing and not lied about it she would still be MOH.



She wrote the new MOH a long letter and it's true she didn't do anything. She said "I just gave the invites to the main people and hoped word of mouth spread". Also, she was going hand out bachelorette party invites at the wedding shower. New MOH said a lot of her "ideas" were half baked and there is no way she could have pulled it off.
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by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 6:43 PM
Replies (91-100):
scarletmeshell
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:02 AM

I am so sorry. I would not demote her. I think that would cause more drama. I would just ask others to help.

CutieCrab
by Jen on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:05 AM

 Well its YOUR wedding! Your mother NEEDS to stay out of it!!  It is YOUR day!!  That is my opinion. lol.

helema24
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:14 AM
1 mom liked this

 she wa sthe moh and as a moh she should of dont everything save your dress and cake (just making sure the order is all set after the bride tastes) and decide on the location for the bridal party just as the grooms first man (blonde moment on the name for him) is to make sure the grooms party is all lined up.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:14 AM
Bride doesn't have to have a shower. And I was MOH for my sisters wedding and I never had to do a thing. Well I did buy my plane ticket to go to the bahamas where they got married. Sorry but I think if you want stuff done, do it yourself.

Quoting Anonymous:

When the moh accepts that position they agree to throw a shower as well as helps the bride the bride doesn't have to do everything and its tacky for a bride to throw her own shower its "begging" for money or so I've been told



Quoting Anonymous:

Its YOUR wedding is it not? Shouldnt YOU be doing the work?

opal10161973
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:19 AM

First, it's YOUR wedding, not theirs and you should have never let them 'bully' you into anything.  This is how this shit gets messed up to begin with, but now you know. The only one who will be crying at your wedding, is you if you don't get this fixed and ASAP. 

To me, it sounds like your sister was/is jealous and is doing everything she can to ruin your wedding for you.  So far, she has succeeded in messing up your shower, I'm glad to read that you removed her.  She sounds like a spoiled brat and attention seeker.  NO ONE needs that kind of monster as their MOH, or even a bridesmaid, IMO.  I would have demoted her OUT of the wedding party altogether after what she has already done.  GL and I hope the rest goes well.

PinkButterfly66
by Ruby Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:20 AM
1 mom liked this

Honey, bottom line it is your wedding.  If you feel your mother and sister are controlling then tell them that you don't want their help any more.  Give your mom and sister ONE small task to do and require that they give you evidence that it has been done.  Don't let your mom guilt you into backing down by calling you bridezilla.  Tell her she's being a bully.  

This is why I wanted to elope.  Too much drama, Too much hassle and stress and too much money.  We ended up just booking a room in a restuaurant, having the justice of the peace marry us and feeding family and friends a buffet meal.   After lunch, we went home.   Soo much better!  We took the money we saved on the wedding and went to Cancun for 2 weeks!

opal10161973
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:20 AM
1 mom liked this

Best man. 

Quoting helema24:

 she wa sthe moh and as a moh she should of dont everything save your dress and cake (just making sure the order is all set after the bride tastes) and decide on the location for the bridal party just as the grooms first man (blonde moment on the name for him) is to make sure the grooms party is all lined up.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:47 AM
I agree however you can take away the responsibility witgout taking the title away. Why i get your feelings and that your mom and sister are real pieces of work but you need to think is this a big enough issue to cause such drama in your family and I can see this also causing issues for your actual wedding. I wish you the best and do what feels right. In the end it is your day.


Quoting elliem87:

I tried this approach. She continued to lie to me and every one else. In my work I do everything for everyone, I do not think expecting my sister to do what she offered to do is out of line. She needs to be held accountable for her actions.




Quoting Anonymous:

I wouldnt have replaced her i would have either had people help her or done it myself. She doesnt actually have to do the things you mentioned it isnt required but it is traditionally what they do and it is nice for them to do it but you can do it yourself or others can


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:49 AM
1 mom liked this
I could never be MOH. I'm too lazy. Lol
elliem87
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:06 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you. I wish I could completely get her out of it but it would be even worse. Thank you for your support


Quoting opal10161973:

First, it's YOUR wedding, not theirs and you should have never let them 'bully' you into anything.  This is how this shit gets messed up to begin with, but now you know. The only one who will be crying at your wedding, is you if you don't get this fixed and ASAP. 

To me, it sounds like your sister was/is jealous and is doing everything she can to ruin your wedding for you.  So far, she has succeeded in messing up your shower, I'm glad to read that you removed her.  She sounds like a spoiled brat and attention seeker.  NO ONE needs that kind of monster as their MOH, or even a bridesmaid, IMO.  I would have demoted her OUT of the wedding party altogether after what she has already done.  GL and I hope the rest goes well.


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