To those that are on the outside of the loop when it comes to abuse of anykind, be it, rape, molestation, emotional or physical (beating) abuse or a combination of them, i would like to explain it a bit. There is a ripple effect from the one that is harmed. Everyone around them that they are involved with is affected as well, this list includes their mother and father if they arent a part of it, their children and spouse and any other close family member that isnt involved in the act of abusing them. The victim will do little things here and there to cry out for help and when it does not come or they are coached into being ashamed of the abuse they will clam up. In some instances they lose huge chunks of memories due to block outs. When they become a differnt person due to memory block or just plain embarassment it affects others because they may lash out or just draw back from those they love the most. They are in the center where the most damage seems to have been done but over time you see the damage begin to radiate out. They way this one person acts will make others act accordingly around this person.
it IS best to look for warning signs and act on them when you see them. If someone acts differently and becomes different to one extreem or another it may be a cry fo rhelp. It is best to answer the cry and get them help. Remember when they are in a living hell because of abuse others around them can be sucked into that living hell with them. Please do not blame the victim it will not help. If they back away give them some space but let them know you care and will be there when they need you.
Also remember that little things you may ove rlook may hurt the victim more than you think is a normal amount. Try and use some tact and if someone seems hurt by something that seems like a small thing to you. Even if its a small thing to you it may be a big thing to others.
BTW before its asked yes i was abused as a child and i had a memory block for a long time after it happened. It was not pretty when i lost th eblock because the memories nearly killed me. No it was not my parents but one of my biggest regrets was not telling my parents of what went on as it was going on. I was coached and manipulated into not telling and when i realised it was wrong it was too late.