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The ripple effect of abuse

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:06 AM
  • 35 Replies
1 mom liked this

 To those that are on the outside of the loop when it comes to abuse of anykind, be it, rape, molestation, emotional or physical (beating) abuse or a combination of them, i would like to explain it a bit. There is a ripple effect from the one that is harmed. Everyone around them that they are involved with is affected as well, this list includes their mother and father if they arent a part of it, their children and spouse and any other close family member that isnt involved in the act of abusing them. The victim will do little things here and there to cry out for help and when it does not come or they are coached into being ashamed of the abuse they will clam up. In some instances they lose huge chunks of memories due to block outs. When they become a differnt person due to memory block or just plain embarassment it affects others because they may lash out or just draw back from those they love the most. They are in the center where the most damage seems to have been done but over time you see the damage begin to radiate out. They way this one person acts will make others act accordingly around this person. 

it IS best to look for warning signs and act on them when you see them. If someone acts differently and becomes different to one extreem or another it may be a cry fo rhelp. It is best to answer the cry and get them help. Remember when they are in a living hell because of abuse others around them can be sucked into that living hell with them. Please do not blame the victim it will not help. If they back away give them some space but let them know you care and will be there when they need you. 

Also remember that little things you may ove rlook may hurt the victim more than you think is a normal amount. Try and use some tact and if someone seems hurt by something that seems like a small thing to you. Even if its a small thing to you it may be a big thing to others.

BTW before its asked yes i was abused as a child and i had a memory block for a long time after it happened. It was not pretty when i lost th eblock because the memories nearly killed me. No it was not my parents but one of my biggest regrets was not telling my parents of what went on as it was going on. I was coached and manipulated into not telling and when i realised it was wrong it was too late. 

power bitch slap internetMuslim Cat prays towards Mecca. LoL by: wirgylovesamletoandshayaprofessor cat. replySPOCK'S MILKSHAKE[]

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:08 AM
How was it too late?
wkukid
by Beach Bum on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:10 AM

I can tell you from personal experience after years of childhood abuse it's very difficult to feel compassion for other people. I have to force myself to feel for someone else literally.

helema24
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:17 AM

 im a hypersensative due to my abuse so i feel actual pain when others are hurt even if its only emotionally! makes it hard to stand up formyself.

Quoting wkukid:

I can tell you from personal experience after years of childhood abuse it's very difficult to feel compassion for other people. I have to force myself to feel for someone else literally.

 

power bitch slap internetMuslim Cat prays towards Mecca. LoL by: wirgylovesamletoandshayaprofessor cat. replySPOCK'S MILKSHAKE[]

helema24
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:19 AM

 the man that abused me as a very young child could not be punished due to the law and the damage done isnt reversable. i must learn to cope while he runs free as if he did nothing!

Quoting Anonymous:

How was it too late?

 

power bitch slap internetMuslim Cat prays towards Mecca. LoL by: wirgylovesamletoandshayaprofessor cat. replySPOCK'S MILKSHAKE[]

wkukid
by Beach Bum on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:21 AM

My mom used to hit me and then dare me to cry, if I did she beat me worse. It went on from age 6 to age 14. I have a strong tolerance to pain now but I have to have a real attachment to someone to feel for them. Even after years of therapy that never came to me, it's like I was too young when she started so I never developed that part of me.

Quoting helema24:

 im a hypersensative due to my abuse so i feel actual pain when others are hurt even if its only emotionally! makes it hard to stand up formyself.

Quoting wkukid:

I can tell you from personal experience after years of childhood abuse it's very difficult to feel compassion for other people. I have to force myself to feel for someone else literally.

 


helema24
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:27 AM

 i was sexually abused by a friend of my dads at a very young age. once the block removed itself due to a trigger my father was pissed that this man did this to me. he was damn good at coaching and manipulation and i am now permanently damaged mentally due to this freak of nature. and thats just the beginning of a life of pure hell due to his actions! but i am learning how to cope and stand up for myself while dealing with that damage!

Quoting wkukid:

My mom used to hit me and then dare me to cry, if I did she beat me worse. It went on from age 6 to age 14. I have a strong tolerance to pain now but I have to have a real attachment to someone to feel for them. Even after years of therapy that never came to me, it's like I was too young when she started so I never developed that part of me.

Quoting helema24:

 im a hypersensative due to my abuse so i feel actual pain when others are hurt even if its only emotionally! makes it hard to stand up formyself.

Quoting wkukid:

I can tell you from personal experience after years of childhood abuse it's very difficult to feel compassion for other people. I have to force myself to feel for someone else literally.

 


 

power bitch slap internetMuslim Cat prays towards Mecca. LoL by: wirgylovesamletoandshayaprofessor cat. replySPOCK'S MILKSHAKE[]

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:29 AM
Do you find it was better to stay blocked or better to remember?
helema24
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:39 AM

 some of the thingsdone to me i would of prefered to stay blocked, but if they had so would many good memories! with a memory block you basically cant remember the good or bad memories for that time!

Quoting Anonymous:

Do you find it was better to stay blocked or better to remember?

 

power bitch slap internetMuslim Cat prays towards Mecca. LoL by: wirgylovesamletoandshayaprofessor cat. replySPOCK'S MILKSHAKE[]

helema24
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:05 AM

BUMP!

helema24
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:47 AM

BUMP!

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